Fun weekend but looking forward to warmer days.

Mistress and I had a fun weekend. Played in a pool tournament, which we really didn't do that well in, actually went bowling, which is something we never do and mixed it in with a bunch of together time.

I guess with the ridiculous weather our options are a bit limited these days but we are making the best of it.

No there was no time to enjoy my cleaning and dressing fun but there was some dominance mixed into the weekend.

We were at a bar, practicing for the tournament we were going to play in the next day. Just having a couple of drinks and enjoying the day. I went to the bar to get another drink for us when the bartender asked me if we wanted menu's to eat. Not wanting to leave the bar area until the drinks were ready I yelled over to Mistress to see if she wanted a menu. She nodded she did and all was fine.

Until...I got back to our table. Mistress came up to me and looked me in the eyes and said in a low voice so no one else could hear. "Don't do that again, if you want me, come see me, don't yell at me across the bar."
I didn't even understand that until she brought it up to me, then I saw why she thought it wasn't very respectful. Now it's not a major thing but it is something that she doesn't like. I am pretty sure it goes back to how she was treated in the past.

She then told me. "Next time you do that I will bend your ass over this stool and give it to you good in front of everyone."

Now I know that was more for effect, I can't be sure but I don't think she would do such a thing in public. But the point is not to push her and find out.

After the moment was over and a promise that sometime this week, when she decides, I will have to pay the price for that behavior. That is Mistress' way of making me think about it. Not knowing when it will come, yet knowing there is no chance she decides to let it go. I have to say it's very effective.

Anyways after the moment was over we continued our play and went back to having fun. At one point she came up to me and said, "Oh by the way if you want to yell across the bar to me again, make sure you use Mistress when you call me." She laughed and I thought about the prospect of yelling Mistress across the bar. I just said, "How about I just come see you next time."

She agreed that it would be a good idea.

Thanking her

Now that I am fully recovered from being sick, Mistress has me doing a lot of things around the house.

Last night she kept me working until almost 9:30pm. While I worked she watched swamp people. Just another example of how things are in our house.

Earlier that afternoon when I got home from work, I got dressed and cleaned the bathroom, which happens to be my least favorite task, why? Mistress likes the bathroom cleaned a certain way, and the way she likes it accomplished takes quite a while. Her reason is simple, "I know it's more work but since I don't have to do it I think it's completely worth the extra effort." She didn't assign me this task but I figured it was coming so I was hoping having it done when she got home would allow me to relax more that evening.

Wrong..... After I made dinner and cleaned up she sent me to clean our bedroom, the most difficult part of this is her makeup area. Everything needs to be put away in the proper place and cleaned as she likes it. When that was done I knelt in front of her, focused my eyes down to the floor and waited while she ignored me until the game she was playing on her iPad was complete, she then asked me.

"Yes?"

"Mistress I am done cleaning your bedroom, thank you for assigning me to do this task, is there anything else I will be doing for your this evening?"

Yes, I thanked her. Wait, thank you for sending me to clean your mess up? Thank you for allowing me to fold your laundry? Thank you for allowing me to clean the bathroom?

Yup, thanking her is my idea. I really do appreciate her allowing me to live out my submissive desires. I know she gets things out of it,  a clean house, an obedient servant, etc. But I am the lucky one. She didn't spend decades fantasizing bout living this way, I did. So living this way is something I am thankful for, more than she may ever imagine.

I do admit, at 9pm on a weeknight when you want to relax, its sometimes difficult thanking someone for making you do something you really didn't feel like doing. But that is part of the allure for me. It makes it even more submissive for me, make it even better so I guess at those times the thanks should be even more heartfelt.

I will continue to thank her for allowing me to serve her. It makes me feel good and puts a good perspective on what we have become.

Sunday morning cleaning.

Saturday night was one where Mistress and I just relaxed at home, we were going to go out but Mistress felt like just relaxing and having a few drinks.

So that is what we did, after a few Sailor Jerry's and coke zero's I was feeling pretty good, I suppose I don't drink enough to say I am good at drinking so about 4 or 5 drinks had me flying pretty good, it was a pretty fun and relaxing evening until....

Mistress decided right before bed that I needed to get up early and clean. I asked her nicely if I could sleep in a bit and clean and she thought about it with her answer being..No. She reasoned that she was going to wake up around 9 and wanted at least downstairs clean when she woke up...

So at 6am I was awake, dressed in something that allowed me to appreciate my status as her maid and began cleaning. I have to say after drinking the night before my head was pounding. Ok I will admit I am a light weight. So I had to decide should I push on and clean, headache and all, go back to bed and explain to Mistress that I didn't obey her because of my hangover or wake her at 6am to ask.

Option 3 was probably the worst idea so I did not wake her.

Option 2 sounded like a good idea and at times when I don't feel good she is always lenient on me taking care of myself first. However I didn't think she would be as forgiving with my affliction being a hangover.

Now I could have reasoned that if I would have known she was going to tell me to get up early and clean then I would have only had 2 or 3 drinks the night before. But I know she would have said, "You should have realized that I might have had you clean and been better prepared." So I pressed on with option A.

Hangover and all I cleaned and it was about an hour and a half later, a lot of water and a few alleve's before the headache was gone.

When she awoke at 9 the downstairs was looking good and she was happy.

I asked her later what would she have done if I used the hangover excuse to disobey her.

Her answer was simple, "Why don't you try it next time and see what happens?"

Well that answered that question, I would have had one sore ass for a few days. Looks like I made the right choice.

My submissive battery.

I know all of us subs have a submissive battery. That energy that we get thru our love for submission that makes everything we do for our girls easy.

I also know there are certain things that cause that battery to temporarily drain. Leaving it difficult to be your submissive best.

For me there are 4 things that drain my submissive battery.

The first is an orgasm. Yup we all get that, we get a release and afterwards there is that time period after where we aren't as obedient, aren't as pampering or even sometimes as caring as when the battery is fully charged. I guess that is one of the main reasons for chastity for many of us. For me that drain doesn't last too long, I have heard guys take a couple of days or longer, I usually am pretty ready to go the next day.

For me the second is stress, this might not be for everyone but for me nothing makes me less likely to come home and look forward to a night of cleaning and obedience than a crappy day at work. I have different methods that Mistress has instructed me to use to combat this but it isn't always effective. My best method is to stop at the front door of our house each day when I get home and say to myself. "When I enter this door my time belongs to my Mistress." That always helps me decompress and get into a better frame of mind to do what I love best....Submit to my owner.

The Third one is being sick. This happened earlier this week and it absolutely drained every bit of submissiveness from me. I am better today and the battery is already to about 50% recharged but I was shocked at how long that battery was on empty this past week. I have to say I hated every minute of not being able to be what I want to be for Mistress but we both understood why and Mistress took care of me quite well. She knows I am feeling better now and she let me know that effective this morning all duties are expected to be completed as usual. She didn't actually announce this, she just went back to our normal course of things this morning. Of course just knowing this made the battery charge jump about 15%.

The fourth is less likely but it is a crisis. Whenever a crisis occurs I immediately fall into Alpha mode. I think this goes for all of us and maybe is really a subcategory of stress.

I am curious to know what causes others to have their submissive batteries drain, and of course if the women have comments about what they notice in their guys I would love to hear that as well.

Weather....Under it and Over it.

Dear blog, I am sorry for not writing in you the last couple of days but I have been under the weather. Still not feeling my best but good enough to not let being sick get in the way of life.

Funny when not feeling good how Mistress turns into authority figure to doing whatever she can to make me feel better. I guess that is the best part of being in a relationship like ours. No matter how much she and I both enjoy her being in charge and flaunting that authority. Love and taking care of each other is still the most important thing.

I guess we should clarify one thing, even when I am sick and lying on the couch watching figure skating...and if you knew me you would know that figure skating isn't exactly my favorite thing to watch. Scratch that last statement, I do like to watch skating but I prefer when the skaters are missing teeth, are carrying sticks and using them to propel a piece of frozen rubber at a goal with some poor person (guy or girl) actually trying to put their body in front of the frozen rubber travelling at sometimes 100 mph. Now that is a sport. And if you haven't figured out what sport it is then there is probably no use explaining further.

Ok back to the point of what I am clarifying. Even when sick, Mistress is still very much in charge, although obedience might involve staying on the couch and allowing her to make soup it is still obedience.

If one studies our FLR (and most others I assume) it wouldn't take much to figure out that the Leader of the household sometimes will do what is needed to keep her sub healthy and happy. My Mistress did a wonderful job of taking care of me the last few days and I am now ready to be back in my proper position...on my knees and at her feet. Ah, life is good.

And to complete the explanation of the title of todays post, Weather, under it and over it. I was under the weather and now I am so far over the crappy weather we have had for the last 2 months I am anxiously awaiting something that seems it will never show....SPRING.

Valentine's Day and the feelings behind it

Yesterday was Valentines Day, we decided not to get each other gifts since we are saving for a wedding. I did get her some flowers, a card and some chocolate covered strawberries (freshly made) she got me a card, a pair of panties (women's panties in case you were wondering) and a shirt (guys shirt in case you were wondering). In addition to the flowers, card and strawberries I wrote her something. It was a message about how far she has come since we met, how far she has gained in her confidence, her career and just in her level of happiness. I also wrote about how even though we are 4 years older than when we met how I think she is even more beautiful than the day we met and I meant every word of it.

It got me thinking about our past, and to a particular day in the development of our FLR. It was the day that changed everything in the way we are now.

It was the early days of our FLR, back then I was new and my macho exterior would get in the way of letting my true self out. I was wanting to cross dress, at the time it was something that was new to me, not new to my fantasies but new to reality. However no matter how bad I wanted to do it, I wanted her to make me do it, like "It wasn't my choice to do this." Same goes for my submission, I felt like when she told me to do something that somehow I should act like I was obeying her against my will, that she was forcing me to be obedient.

One night she gave me a chore to do and I acted like I was going to do it but really didn't want to. She stopped me and said, "You know what, forget it." When I asked why she said, that if we were going to continue this it had to be what we both wanted. That if I was going to obey her then it would be because I wanted to obey her. She said she didn't want to force me to be in an FLR. It was then that we had a heart to heart talk and I explained that in some ways my fantasies over the years all involved me being forced to wear women's clothes, forced to obey a woman. Like I was protecting this secret I had inside of me, "It's not me, she is making me do this." Of course it was all a defense mechanism but when we had our heart to heart she said to me that, "There is nothing wrong with what you want to be, there is no harm in being the way you feel and how you like to dress and I am ok with this."

That night changed my whole life. We decided together that, I wanted to obey her and gave her control....willingly, but that from that point on she had control and I lost the ability to take it back.

She also said I could dress in her clothes but I had to do it because I wanted to AND that there needed to be parameters. She said that I liked to serve her when cross dressed so she would use that to her advantage, if I wanted to dress up, that's fine but while you are dressed you need to be cleaning my house. She also knew that I cleaned better being cross dressed, I focused more on my cleaning and didn't take short cuts when dressed. Who knows why but that didn't matter, just go with it she said.

That night changed a lot of things for me. I now am happy when she decides while sitting on the couch that I won't be done working for a while yet, just "because she said so" I know the command must be obeyed but I also know I want to obey and this is where I am happiest.

So when you think of what you love about your Valentine I can't make a long enough list about the things I love about mine.

Most powerful words in the submissive language.

Ok,"Submissive" is not an actual language but there are some words to a submissive can just turn him to a big pile of goo. I know your probably thinking, "I love you." Oh those are important but those are words common to other languages...like English. No I am speaking of the words, "Because I said so."

Last week I was cleaning, I know big surprise, and I was wearing my higher heels, with some outfit of hers that I chose to wear while cleaning. I started as soon as I got home from work and was doing a pretty good job of making a dent in the work that needed to be done. After a couple of hours it was time to prepare Mistress' dinner, when she arrived we ate and have good conversation. And in case your wondering she is way past the part of feeling weird sitting at a table and talking to her fiancee, who happens to be wearing her clothes. Anyways once dinner ended she was off to do whatever it is Mistress' do to relax after a long day of work and a nice dinner. I cleaned up the dinner dishes and got the kitchen back in order. Unfortunately deciding on putting the higher heels today meant my feet were starting to hurt.

At that point I looked at the clock and noticed it was already 8 pm and was hoping to be done. I knelt before her and waited for her to allow me to speak and when she did I said, "Mistress, is it OK if I stop cleaning for tonight and relax a bit."

She thought and said, "Did you clean the upstairs bathroom?"

A bit of panic set in, not because she would be angry it wasn't done but more because it was something I wasn't planning on doing until tomorrow because cleaning Mistress' bathroom properly takes about 45 minutes to an hour.

I said, "No Mistress."

She said, "Go do that."

I said, "But Mistress I was going to clean the bathroom tomorrow when I get home from work, we have nothing going on tomorrow I was hoping it could wait."

She thought for second, although to me it felt like an eternity."No it needs to be done now."

At that point I was resigned to the fact that my feet were going to have to deal with at least one more task before they would get relief.

Ok to explain, Mistress has a rule, "Wear what you wish, but it stays on until you get done with your service."

So when I chose to wear the higher heels I thought the workload would be a smaller one so I thought I could take it. And yes I do like the higher ones, they just give me a more submissive feel, I know someone is reading this and saying, 'Hey dumbass, why did you put those shoes on if you thought there was a chance you would get in this predicament.'

Well unknown commenter speaking in your head to yourself, when you are in the midst of submissive heaven getting dressed its hard to ignore the pull of things that make you feel more submissive.

So SOS wasn't done yet, he tried one more angle before heading off to clean the bathroom, "Mistress, you said the bathroom needs to be cleaned now? I am not questioning you but why does it need to be done now."

She simply said the most powerful words in the submissive language, "Because I said so."

Those words caused me to have to make an adjustment in my pantyhose.

I just said, "Yes Mistress I understand."

She continued, "When I tell you I want something done then it NEEDS to be done, HAS to be done just 'because I said so'"

As it turned out after the bathroom was cleaned she threw two more small tasks at me to do just because she 'felt like it'.

 After it was over I was glad, the next day was much easier because she pushed me more that night. Turned out that was her plan all along, she wanted to go out and do something the next day so me stuck cleaning the bathroom wasn't going to work in her plans.

When she shared this with me I said, "Oh I see why didn't you just tell me that."

She smiled, "Because sometimes it's easier for me if you just do as your told, I will fill you in when the time is necessary."

Another lesson learned, trust your Mistress, and if she wants something done she needs no reason other than "Because I said so."