Thursday, February 4, 2016

Importance of understanding

For those of your who are dealing with stress and changes in life. I feel for you.

We have been dealing with stress lately, Mistress S has a stressful situation with her new job, nothing really she can't handle but handling it and not being stressed about it are two different things.

For me its sometimes difficult to be the submissive guy when you realize your partner needs something different, sometimes.

That balancing act that us submissive's deal with, when do we act submissive, when to act strong and be her rock. The line sometimes will blur depending on how those submissive juices are flowing.

That is what I want to discuss today. Obviously it goes without saying that in a relationship that would be termed as FLR, WLM or however you want to term it there comes a time, as the guy, you are unsure if you should be obedient and supportive or supportive and take a lead in helping things. Maybe for some guys there is no choice and it's only one way or the other in their relationship. However I will guess there are many of us that live at times on the border of how to act to best support your girl.

What I did was to try think from her perspective and try to anticipate what might help her the most. She is first, her wants and ways are first but that doesn't always mean be the obedient servant, sometimes that means to let her know that if she needs a break from things she might normally do, that you are willing to jump in and lend a hand.

At times it might mean to suppress your submissive desires, don't worry they will never just pack up and leave forever. Now that doesn't mean I need to not obey her, quite the opposite, when she wants something it needs to be understood that whatever she wishes I am ready to do but you can be at the ready to obey and take the bull by the horns as well. You just need to have a couple things going your way. First you need to pay attention to her wants and needs more than ever. Don't assume, see what each day brings and adapt. Second you need to be happy with supporting her in ways that maybe aren't what you would wish in your submissive world your brain likes to live in. The old saying 'there is a time and place for everything' rings true here.

In the end it kind of works itself out, by taking on things that she may normally be happy to do and taking pressure off her you might be making her happy and serving her in a way you wouldn't normally, this in turn will give you a sense of helping, a sense of pride and give your submissive brain a little tweak in how to further serve her.

In the end to serve her doesn't always mean to literally serve her, sometimes it means to fill what she needs regardless of what that is.

Love is one of the most powerful things in the world. Use it to wash out some negative things your girl might be experiencing. You won't make things perfect but if you can just make it better AND more importantly not add to her stress with your wishes and demands you have done a great service to her. LOVE can conquer, maybe not everything but it sure can help.


3 comments:

  1. I know this situation very well! One thing that I realized recently is that my wife sometimes needs the "old me," before we got into an explicit FLR dynamic where my submissive role leads me to be more deferential and less assertive than I was for the first, let's say many years of our marriage. That's part of her having a rock to lean on when she's tired and anxious: that first, founding dynamic of our relationship, where I wasn't consciously submissive, is one where she doesn't have to make any effort to hold up her side or mine; we just balance nicely, and it's fun and comfortable. I still see to her needs and wishes, but I can also lead the dance while she relaxes into my arms and follows, without this being presumptuous of me. I know she's feeling better and more confident when she starts to snap back into the alpha female role and order me back to proper submission. ;-)

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  2. T.Q. I completely understand and agree.

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