Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Thankful

Whatever you celebrate this time of year. I wish everyone the best. One thing about this time of year, it gives rise to reflection of the past year and looking forward to the next. No matter how your year has been there is reason to look forward. If it was a great year then you might be looking for a continuation. If it was a bad year, maybe a new year will bring in better things for you and your family.

For me I have a lot to be thankful of, life is good, not perfect, but good. And with that so is my life as a submissive. I have a lot to be thankful for in that regard as well. I decided to list a few reasons.

For my submissive life (Not in order of importance)
1. Becoming more comfortable in our lifestyle for me and my wife. Every year brings a new level of understanding and change.
2. We met a fellow couple that shares our Female led life and it has been great to get to know them. We continue to meet up and get to know each other. Maybe the best part is they aren't FLR friends. They are friends period that just happen to share a same way of authority at home. As I have said, you need more than just FLR to make things successful, that goes for relationships and with friends. Look forward to the next year and continued fun.
3. Accepting myself for who I am. Since 4 years ago when I admitted to Mistress what I truly am, it has been a long road of accepting it for me. When you know what you are inside but keep it bottled up for 44 years it can be tough when it finally comes out, It has to be dealt with and you have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Its not as easy as you would think but each year brings a further level of acceptance.
4. My Mistress, she is the love of my life, FLR or not, But she has helped me so much understand that what I am is OK. She has also made everything possible in my submissive life up to this point. Without her I wouldn't be experiencing any of my submissive desires. I can never be thankful enough for what she has done for me.


From the non submissive part of my life I have much to be thankful for as well but I won't bore you with the details. I did get married this year and that has been one life changing event that occurred in 2014.

So whatever your celebration reason this holiday season, I wish you all the best.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Second Meeting/Life is good

Yeah, I know, I don't post enough, now that snow has arrived I will make a effort to do better. Life is so busy and with busy comes responsibilities and with that comes less time than I would like to do things like blog.

With that in mind life is good for us, Mistress has had some work stress recently get worked out so hopefully that will pass for her. Doldrums of winter are beginning early this year so we have to make an effort to stay active. Yesterday finally got the last of the leaves off the lawn. So I guess we are officially ready for winter in Michigan.

As I said Mistress has been a little stressed at work and with that it leaves me to be more of a self starter at home in regards to cleaning. By the time she mentions something needs to be done it's already to the point where she isn't happy. It can be a challenge but I enjoy challenges.

Lately she has changed her tactics a bit as well, punishments more often involve corner time or sentences more than the "laying over the bed" method. I think this is because it's easier for her and in some ways I think she finds this to be more effective. Especially when she might say one sentence to me and it causes me 2 hours of punishment. I guess effectiveness /effort level on her part is large ratio in the positive direction. Although I must say I am completely guessing about this as she keeps her reasons to herself in these matters.

This past weekend we had our second night out with fellow FLR couple we met with a month or so ago. We had a great time again and I actually feel funny saying "FLR friends" they are friends first but just happen to ascribe to the same values at home as we do. Mistress and I talked on the drive home how much fun we have with them and how a few hours flew by so quickly. We are already looking at plans for the next get together.

When we decided to begin trying to meet others that share our views I was first a bit disappointed, I joined Fetlife and while the people we met, (even attending a munch) were very nice and we had a good time with them, we just didn't feel we fit in. I was worried that this would be the case with others we met. What I think I am finding out is the difference between people who want to experience D/s in general are different from those of us who just live with the woman in charge.

Either way, it's nice to make new friends and we look forward to new experiences with them as time move on.

Thanks to I'm, Hers for introducing us. Now don't let your vacuuming slide past Sunday when you were told to do it. LOL.

Monday, October 20, 2014

A great night, a great weekend

Saturday night Mistress and I met up with another couple who also enjoy a female led relationship. I have met the guy before so I knew we got along fine, but it was the first time either of the girls were present.

Honestly we didn't talk too much about things of the FLR nature as we were in a restaurant with others around. But I think that made it better in many ways. We were able to connect on regular life things instead of focusing on the common theme in our relationship.

Turned out to be an awesome time. Mistress really liked both of them and we are looking forward to meeting up again soon.

Was this surprising? In some ways not but there is also a part of me that was a bit concerned. My Mistress, although she can get along with many people doesn't do too well with people she finds less than genuine, especially women like that. As it turned out there was no worries there. Both of the people are nice, down to earth, funny and intriguing and believe it or not they even dealt with my dry sense of humor without rolling their eyes.

I suppose finding a couple to meet that we share the same type of relationship style with is a good thing. But we were hoping to find actual friends that we had our relationship style in common with. From the first meeting it seems that is the case.

Sunday was a bit different, After some golf in the early afternoon and at the same time listening to our home town Lions suck, right up until the last 5 minutes of the game and pull out a big win against New Orleans, we went home and Mistress did some reading for work, I had some stuff to do as well, including ironing her clothes and laundry. She made dinner (which I usually do but what we were having was something she loves to cook) and the plan was for me to iron the clothes, do some cleaning until dinner then eat, clean up and relax for the rest of the evening. Mistress decided to change that plan. While dinner was cooking and I was upstairs taking care of the ironing she decided to put out Halloween decorations in our family room. While doing this she found that there was a larger build up of dust then she was expecting. Before dinner she had me kneel in front of her so she could speak with me. This always allows her to get my undivided attention and accentuate that what is saying isn't up for debate, she explained to me that she understood with the wedding, summer and just being busy that some things were hard to keep up with in regards to cleaning. She then told me that she decided that I needed to focus on cleaning more now and after dinner I could count on going back to work for a while. She also said that after work every day this week I would be spending time taking care of some of the details that have been lacking with regard to the housework until she is satisfied things are back to where they should be.

One thing I have to say is I love my life and my Mistress.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Still feels different

So a month of marriage and things still feel a bit different.

I have set into a comfort zone knowing that she is permanently in charge, not that she wasn't before but the change has left us both with a comfortable and secure feeling I believe.

This Saturday we will be meeting up with friends. A similar couple to us, a dominant woman and submissive man. The two of us guys have met and grown a friendship but this will be the first time the girls meet each other, or either of us guys meet the others wife. In some ways I wonder how one treats the dominant wife of a friend. The easy answer is just as any other friend but there is that side of me that wonders if in time there would be some expectation to be somewhat obedient to her. Not the same as my Mistress but more in a sign of respect. I guess the next easy answer is to not think about things like that and let my Mistress decide things like that over time. Anyways it will be a fun time and I am looking forward to it.

Also recently I have been reading about some couples that live more extreme in their Female Led Relationship than us. One has separate bedrooms so that the woman may have free time with other men while he is safe and secure in a separate room, close enough to hear what is going on but far enough away to not bother her.

I have been thinking a lot about this lately. Not because what they are doing is wrong, no if they are both happy then more power to them. But more about a comment he made about not being able to touch his wife as she prefers others. I will say that that man is much stronger than me. I obey my wife but we are also best friends, if I was set aside and not wanted for love. If my wife wanted to be touched and loved but not by me and if I didn't get to feel the loving touch of my wife how would I react? I would be devastated. I am not sure if that is a sign of weakness on my part or not but I just couldn't handle it.

I suppose if there was ever a time where she wanted to experiment with someone else I would accept it, I obey her and want her to be happy, as long as we were still the inseparable twosome that we are. I can't stand to be away from her for a day let alone sleep in a separate room knowing she is close by but prefers to be with someone else.

I guess in the end we all have our own ways and things that make us happy. I know by reading what that guy said he is happy with the relationship but I can't see anyway I could be in the same type of relationship. When you have an unequal relationship a lot of thought and communication has to go into it to make sure each person is happy.

I guess the moral of this is that there are many different aspects of a female led relationship that make us all different, everyone has their ideas on what makes them happy and I know that what is good for us probably might not be the same for another couple. I am learning not to judge others and certainly haven't in this case but when you put yourself in anothers shoes wow it can be eye opening.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

First post after getting married

The last few weeks have been extremely busy with our wedding.

Finally things have settled a bit. The wedding was awesome, we had the best time and everything went perfect, the weather was also great.

Since the wedding things have got back to normal.

Last Thursday I received my first punishment post wedding day. I admit it had a different feel. Mistress was very nonchalant about the whole thing. To me it had the feel of her being in full power.

Most of the time I am told to lay over the bed because.....

This time she grabbed her crop, tapped the bed and said, "Lay down."

When I said, "Yes, Mistress, may I ask why?"

I was told, "Just do as your told." After it was over I received a reasoning but at the time she felt no need or desire to explain herself. This is a change for us and it made me feel secure. Like just follow and everything will be ok.

Also we went out to eat last night and when I ordered fries with my fish she interrupted and said, "Make that a baked potato for him." She has never done that before and again it gave me a good feeling, although slightly embarrassing.

Ok everyone, it's glad to be back. Have a good day.


Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Woo, Sorry.

Wow, where has the time went. Been over a month since my last post. Busy times for sure.

Things are good Wedding is less than two weeks away. That has left no time for much of anything.

Preparations are coming along nicely but still it's not leaving time for much of anything else. Visitors coming in, kids staying with us so the empty nest we enjoy so much is temporarily out of order.

Its all good though, looking forward to the return of normalcy once the wedding is over.

Mistress and I talked about it and we are both really looking forward to the wedding day. AND Looking forward to it being over. Just a lot of stress dotting the I's crossing the T's.

I miss my submission. And Mistress' dominance. I wouldn't say its gone completely as it is always there between the two of us. Even when in a crowded theater.

I maybe not post before the wedding but will be back hopefully soon after.

thanks everyone.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Hey!!!

Hey everybody!!!

Busy summer with not a lot to report. Things are good here and hope the same is true for all of you.

Lots of happenings, preparing for our wedding, golfing and work to name a few.

One thing did happen two days ago. Things were busy in the morning and I left before presenting myself to Mistress and showing her which panties I was wearing for the day. Half way thru the day she reminded me about it and said, "That will cost you of course."

The next day it was supposed to rain, assuming we wouldn't be able to do any after work activities I picked a pair of panties that aren't good for activities..they don't hold things in so well if you might imagine. Well we get home from work and it's sunny so Mistress asks "Want to golf today?" I answer, "Sure" Then as we are getting ready I realize the panties I am wearing will be quite difficult to golf in. So I ask her extremely nicely if I can change them before we leave.

She smiles and says, "No I think you will just have to deal with those and each time it's uncomfortable it should remind you of what you didn't do properly yesterday."

So I have to admit the punishment was very effective and I think it caused my score to be a few strokes higher than usual. Mistress and I tied in score. She commented that maybe she should make me wear those to golf in more often. Probably wasn't a good idea for her to learn that information.

Ok everyone, hope your summer continues longer than the one in Michigan will end up lasting. I think it will be over soon.


Monday, July 14, 2014

Advice

Mistress and I are starting to plan our honeymoon, we will be going early next year.

We are looking to go to an all inclusive in the Caribbean somewhere. We want to have lots of opportunities to golf.

If anyone has some advice on good places to go let me know I would love to hear your thoughts.

So, World Cup is over, Germany won....Yayyyy. Now it's back to normal summer living.

Things are still super busy but this will be one less distraction, still a wedding to continue preparing for and home improvements to continue working on. Not to mention Golf.

I guess this is one of those times where I need to pay special attention to my Mistress. Times like this it can get easy to forget the small things, the things she enjoys but probably won't complain about, flowers once in a while, a card under the pillow, that sort of thing. I made a promise to myself that I would never forget those small signs to show her how much I love her, so no matter how busy things get, no matter how long we have been together it still needs to stay close to my mind, not to let things slip.

Yes, it can be hard when there is so many things that need to be done for work, home, etc. But seeing the smile on her face makes it much easier to keep up on the things that matter most. Taking care of Mistress.


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Moments like these...

Ok, first I know I suck as a regular blogger during the summer. That's ok, things are just busy, busy is good and good is...well I guess good.

Although I have to say more than that lack of time to to blog the thing I like least is the time to read the other bloggers I love to read, Mistress Marie, I'm Hers, Sub hub in that warm city even in the wintertime, Kathy and many others. If I didn't mention you don't be upset, I still read all the blogs I subscribe to.

Well anyway, not much of an update but trouble is on the horizon for me later today.

Mistress wanted to wear a certain skirt to work the other day, it was hung in the closet but needed to be ironed. Oops that passed by me when I put stuff away. She let it slide and said she would wear something else and would wear that skirt on Thursday....Well (Well the universal word for things didn't quite go as planned), I got home yesterday after work and really was planning on doing it before I did anything else. However (universal word to reason why things didn't go as planned) Argentina vs Netherlands were on TV, tied, 30 minutes to go before overtime.

Of course I watched and in the middle of overtime Mistress comes home and wants to golf. Sooo (universal word for more excuses on the way) we watch the end of the game, and head out the door quickly to golf before daylight escapes us.

Golf was great and we had a wonderful time. We didn't get home until almost 9:30 and the skirt is now completely out of my mind.

The evening moves on, we finally head to bed and both have a good night sleep.

This morning was a pretty normal morning except for the fact that I had to leave for work early. Not a big deal until Mistress pulls her skirt out again. IT ISN'T IRONED!!

Now because I am walking out the door for an appointment there is no time to do it right there on the spot.

She says, "I know you have to go, I suppose you realize you are going to pay for that later, right?"

I answer, "Yes, I know."

She smiles kisses me goodbye, says "I love you." and follows it with. "Try not to think about being in trouble." then chuckles.

I first tried to think of something to say but I did the right thing, made no excuses and just said my goodbye, apologized and left for the day.

Needless to say I have been wondering all day about what she will decide. I know that is part of her plan and her method to make the punishment effective. And of course it is.


Monday, June 30, 2014

Oops, been too long.

It's definitely been too long between posts. Even as busy as things are these days there should be some time set aside for blogging. It seems to keep things in perspective for me and a chance to explore my true feelings.

With that all in mind there really isn't too many exciting things to report. Mistress and I have been super busy, summer golf, work is crazy busy for both of us and a major home improvement project we are beginning. Also lets not forget the World Cup is in full swing.

It's busy but it is also fun and exciting, not exciting in the ways of things to report to the reader but exciting in that everyday life is just great for us. Still have empty nest due to her daughter away for studying abroad but with the lack of home time these days the submissive things that usually fill our cold winter days have turned into the busy, "Dominance and Submissiveness on the run." as I will call it.

The directions are still there, "Don't forget I want that skirt ready to wear for work on monday." or feverishly looking for a tank top she wanted to wear that "should have been washed and put away already." As it turned out it was in her drawer...Crisis averted. But those long winter sessions of given a list of tasks seem to fade in the busy summer months.

On one hand I miss that (at times) but for the most part I realize that variety is the spice of life. 100% of the time I obey her but 100% of the time she doesn't need to flaunt the authority. It's there, it just doesn't always need to be flaunted in her mind to still let me know she is in charge. Mistress also knows that when things are as busy as they are now sometimes the servant can only do so much. It doesn't take away or change what we are it just temporarily changes the way we address the D/s portion of our life.

Either way it's all good and I hope everything is going well for anyone reading this.




Tuesday, June 17, 2014

LIfe's Tribulations

What a busy week. Made even busier by the start of the World Cup. Yeah I know most of you from the U.S. aren't very interested. I get that. 

Too bad, you probably missed the U.S. win an opening game for the first time since god know's when. It wasn't a great game but I will not bore you with the tactical issues I had with the game.

Of course that has nothing to do with our FLR in a direct way, but it does in an indirect way. Mistress allows me to watch as she know how much it means to me. Of course with Father's day, world cup and golf it hasn't left a lot of time to keep Mistress' house in the manner she expects.

She has been patient but I know better than to let it slack for much longer. I guess it's just part of the balance of having the type of relationship we have.

It's these times of the FLR where the dominance is low that get's me to truly appreciate things. No matter how much she let's things slack she is still the head of the household and I know at a moment's notice that taking her generosity for granted could result in consequences. It's just who we are, what we have built and in some ways what we have become. I wouldn't change it for anything.


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

And So It Begins

Haven't had time to post for the last few days, things have been extremely hectic.

Mistress did find time to punish me for being less than respectful. That day she pinned me and intimidated me was not an empty threat. Let's just say I am acting much more respectful to her than I was a week ago.

That brings me to the current situation.

As many of you know, tomorrow starts the world's biggest sporting event...The World Cup (soccer for those of you who didn't know.) While it's not as big here in the U.S. as most other places on this pale blue dot in space it is a pretty big deal.

So for those of us who are submissive I am wondering if it is something that you will want to watch but not get as much time to view as you would like or does your Mistress allows you to have your fill. That is certainly my case, Mistress knows how much I like to watch and as long as my work is caught up I will be able to watch as much as I want.

Of course that doesn't mean I will watch every minute, its one month of every day games. But I will watch the teams that interest me and most days instead of turning on the news during dinner it will be on in the back ground. I am also understanding that that privilege can be revoked at any time if Mistress decides it should be. That means the next month will call for my best behavior.

As far as the Mistresses out there, one are you interested and if not do you allow you man to watch?

Just curious to see what people have to say.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Fear...Is a little bit healthy?

Yesterday after work Mistress and I were at home. I was making a remark about something, kind of sarcastically which she let pass, then as a joke I grabbed her ass and made another comment. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal but Mistress thought I was being a bit too cocky.

So she turned around and walked up to me quickly, it was in the kitchen and I backed up until I was stopped by the counter top, she kept pushing right into me until we were eye to eye. It was a few seconds before I realized what was going on and dropped to my knees. She remarked that it took a bit long to get on my knees and that my cockiness was a bit more than she wanted to see. She told me right then that I would be taught a lesson later. It hasn't happened yet but I know its coming.

The point is that moment when she came at me and I backed into the counter top I felt some genuine fear. Not fear for my life but just a fear of knowing I displeased her and I was at her mercy. I have to admit it was extremely exciting. It got me thinking, is it bad to fear your Mistress a little bit. My answer is no not at all.

First and foremost I know I am safe with her, so it's not an issue of fearing for my safety. But authority means she has certain powers that I don't have. Being subject to that power can sometimes cause a bit of fear. I believe not only is it exciting for a submissive to be in a position where someones authority can put you in a bit of a nervous predicament but healthy for our relationship. Yes a little fear is probably healthy.

But isn't there fear a bit in every relationship to a degree. In a vanilla relationship are there not times when maybe the guy is out with his buddies only to come home late. Is he afraid she will be pissed? Maybe the difference is in the vanilla relationship she might just keep it bottled up in her head instead of letting her displeasure out on  the guy. Not so much in an FLR. When Mistress isn't happy, it doesn't get bottled up, I have to answer for it and quickly. In my book that makes for a better a less stressful relationship.

Of course to generalize anything is not correct, there are some vanilla relationships where the woman speaks her mind and punishes. Maybe instead of an ass beating or being sent to the corner it might be the silent treatment or the cold shoulder. I am probably a minority but I would much rather have Mistress sit me down, tell me what I did wrong and punish me for it than give me the cold shoulder or the silent treatment, that is a fate worse than anything to me. Then again maybe that's why being a submissive is good for me.

Here is the thing, what does she think of it? Does she want to cause fear in me? I guess I don't know. Maybe, maybe not.

I do know that I am good with it, to coin a new phrase, "I am not afraid of fearing her." Matter of fact it makes me happy, excited, and fills me with a tingle that was reserved for intense fantasies.

"So do I like it because it's a game?" Hell no, it's not a game, we don't live a game. I respect her and I do obey her. If she decides I am going to be punished or treated in a way I don't like, I may not enjoy it it but at the same time it fills me with everything I have ever dreamed about.

"Besides how can it be real fear, if she punishes you and it really is something you don't want, you can always say no." Actually no I won't and can't. What we built up relies on me accepting her authority and trusting it. If she picked a punishment I really hated I would accept it without a thought of saying no. I have long ago crossed that bridge. If I don't like it I might ask her to reconsider but the final decision rests with her. That is where it should be and honestly I  wouldn't have it any other way.

"How is it different that the fear of close call while driving or the fear of almost falling off something?" It's a huge difference, while I might fear what she may do, I know I am going to be safe, maybe a bit sore or have a sore hand from writing but safe. It's a different feeling than that. but it does provide you with an adrenaline rush. I guess in the end it's more like the fear of being sent to the principals office back in school rather than the fear of getting hurt in a care crash.

"So does it do anything for her?" Maybe, who knows, I guess the only thing I could see her getting out of it is the knowledge that she has the power if she chooses to use it without worry that I will think negatively about it. Maybe that isn't so much of a bonus on her end, maybe it can be if it makes her comfortable in being the boss. I guess that is a question that only she could answer.

I suppose the bottom line is that the whole episode got me to think and remind me of the respect I need to show to her. Maybe that was her goal right from the beginning????


Monday, June 2, 2014

Submissiveness, Lifelong or Learned?

One thing has been on my mind lately.

I know everyone is different, but if you are submissive is it something you knew about early in life or did you "try it" and decided you liked it.

For me it's been ingrained ever since I can remember. At one point I thought everyone had feelings like that but learned quickly that I was, what I thought, alone in my thinking.

Ever since those early days of even elementary school I can remember always fantasizing about having to obey girls and even dressing in their clothes. I don't remember anything that seemed to start my submissiveness, it was just always there from what I can recall.

I remember having a friend who had a super mean sister, everybody disliked her. I secretly thought she was awesome. But she never used her meanness on me. The list goes on and on. There was no event in my life that didn't have submissiveness tied to in my mind. When I was old enough to start to have girlfriends I know most guys would think about getting in their pants....Me too. Literally. Well seriously I would think about that but more than that I would think about them dominating me. Take over our relationship and do to me what they chose. Of course I never met anyone like that.

As I grew older still, I started to change, I still was submissive but I needed something more, my fantasies had to have a confident woman. A leader type. I needed that to make it seem real in my mind. That's why my first marriage was anything but an FLR. She just didn't have that in her. Wasn't her fault she was who she was. So we spent our entire marriage with her in the dark of who I truly was.

Until of course I met Mistress and opened her up to a new way of being. She didn't know she was dominant but as we went down that road she found it was who she was and that she liked it.

So I wonder if more people are submissive (or dominant) because they have always been (even if they didn't act on it) or was there something later that caused you to try and and decide you liked it and it was for you? (Like my Mistress)

I am curious to hear everyone's thoughts.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Craving Punishment?...!...?...!

Ok I will admit to being confused about this but here goes.

Lately I have had these cravings for punishment, what kind of punishment? Well no particular kind just craving that feeling of having to pay for something that was done incorrectly in the mind of Mistress.

So am I craving for her to say, "Lay over the bed, I am going to give it to you good just because I feel like it?"

No not really, although the prior sentence is a complete turn on due to the fact that she is imposing her wishes just because she feels like it.

No it's more about being punished for something I did wrong.

So does this mean I want to screw something up so she punishes me....Nope that's isn't it either. I don't want to screw up anything she tells me to do. I want to do it right and have her happy about it.

So am I saying I want to do my very best only to find out it wasn't good enough and then get punished??

I think so. Such a strange way of thinking. I guess in the end I want to do my best but in some ways I am hoping that despite my best effort Mistress will find something that is legitimately wrong so when she punishes me I know I tried and failed and now have to be punished....

The worst thing about it is I am not confused at all. Not about what I want. But just confused on why I want this.

I think part of it is things have been so smooth for us lately that I might be missing some of that part of the FLR. That part when she says, "Not good enough, and now you have to pay."

I admit I know that sooner or later it will happen, it's just that craving that I have been having lately that is making me filled with want.




Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Beautiful Weekend

It was a very busy and extremely wonderful weekend. Lots of golf for us and more importantly spending almost every waking hour together.

Saturday morning was the only time apart, she had a few appointments, hair, nails and such and she left me home to take care cleaning the house.

There wasn't a ton of dominant moments just the everyday subtle types of dominance that pretty much fill our lives now. A comment here, a warning about something needing to be done there. The point is that even with the subtle low key dominance life is still everything it can be for us.

A couple of dinners at locations where we could sit outside. Including one at the river where the freighters were passing as we ate. Pretty awesome to see a huge freighter pass right in front of you, over 1,000 feet long and filled with 68,000 tons of iron ore.

I guess its one of the few nice things about living where we do, every boat travelling from the upper great lakes to ports to the east or even eventually the ocean has to pass right by the downtown area.
The other side of the river is Canada.

I hope everyone had a great Memorial weekend (for those that celebrate that holiday) and I want to thank all the men and women who have given their lives to make sure the rest of us can enjoy ours.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Wow, that dress.

Yesterday Mistress wore a new yellow dress to work. All I can say is OMG amazing. Its so awesome to feel so excited by the one you love. 

While I am sure she enjoyed my comments that I made to her on how she looked I can't say enough about what I feel about her. I am not just talking about our love either, I am referring to the complete pure and simple excitement of her beauty to me....I know I know, its all in the eyes of the beholder. I get that. 

BUT...I also get that when a person feels such a way about his (or her) partner they should say it. It got me thinking. (not always the best thing for me.)

How many times do I think she looks good in something else and just let the moment pass???

Probably too many. Yes I tell her I love her, yes I do tell her she is beautiful but there is something about a small comment before work or just in the normal every day situation where one says. "Wow you look great." I suppose its easy when you are in each others arms or in a romantic situation  to profess how you think she looks beautiful but something about just making a normal everyday comment that can brighten someones day.

Whether it was the dress or just me taking a moment to realize what I have I am not sure but it set the tone for a great start to the day. I couldn't get her out of my mind the entire drive to work. 

It never ceases to amaze me that small things can make such a big difference to a relationship. While I would never advocate saying things just for the sake of saying them such as things you might not really mean. That isn't honest and most likely your partner will see thru it. 

But I will say when you feel something positive about your partner, let the comment fly, don't wait until that romantic time of day, don't wait until bedtime. Let her know in an email at work, a text or yup, even while she is getting ready for work. 

So what does this have to do with my submissiveness, or our FLR?...Not a damn thing but I guess it points out that this type of behavior is good for all of us, vanilla, FLR or whatever your flavor may be.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Strange dreams

As anyone who has read my blog probably knows I have had submissive feelings since as early as I can remember. Over the years the fantasies have changed, funny the difference between what a 13 year old fantasizes about and what an adult fantasizes about.

However when I examine it, it's all the same, just a different perspective of the control a woman has in my dreams from year to year.

Of course now I live the dream and it's better than any fantasy but until meeting Mistress that was never the case.

The other day I had a dream, a dream that brought up fantasies I had in high school. So much different than now.

It was a common fantasy I had from the younger days. Something along the lines of meeting a girl and beginning to date and one day getting invited to her house. When I arrive I am sat down by my new girlfriend and her mom to explain to me that from now on I would have to do what my girlfriend would tell me. I think at the time the mom was the authority figure to ensure that I would follow through on my obedience.

These dreams manifested themselves in my early days in many ways, with the premise that I was supposed to obey my new girlfriend the sky was the limit for fantasizing, doing her homework, cleaning her room. The list just goes on.

I told Mistress about the dream and even tried to figure out why after so many years I dreamed of those old days. Maybe in some ways it is still me trying to think about what I may have missed by not embracing my submissiveness until a much older age.

I suppose if the internet would have been around earlier I would have had the knowledge to realize what I was and it might have changed everything.

Considering I wouldn't want to change anything in my life I will just be grateful for living my submissive life now in my forties, instead of when I was much younger.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Routine but yet not routine.

Seems like since going back to empty nest things are back to being routine.

Of course routine for us isn't what I would call routine for the average world.

Yup lots of golf and time together but also some small items that need to be tightened up so I can avoid future punishment.

Mistress isn't too excited about the rate I get her clothes to the drycleaner and picked up for her to wear again. Right now there are 3 dresses being cleaned. She remarked that if they were taken as soon as they were in need of cleaning then at least one would be back in her closet...Point taken.

Also it was pointed out that the ironing needs to be done a bit quicker... Point also taken.

Floors need to be cleaned a bit more often...Point taken yet again.

Now for the hard part. To make sure the follow thru happens when things are busy. That will be the challenge I face this week.

And of course to add to the mix I am officially on a diet. The winter was a tough one for me and not being active and retirement from coaching has left it necessary to jumpstart getting into shape. Good thing is I don't have a ton to lose but the act of not being free to eat what you choose always changes planning meals, shopping and preparation of things.

Of course the biggest part of that is more exercise. That won't be a big problem for me but it's just time to do it.




Monday, May 12, 2014

Mother's Day Weekend

Finally the weather seems to have turned to a more summer type that should be expected around here this time of year.

Empty nest is back again as Mistress' daughter left for her trip. She will be gone for a while so Mistress was a bit sad that she would spend Mother's day without her daughter but she realizes it's just part of growing up.

That left us with time to do what Mistress wants on Mother's day...That was easy; a day on the golf course and a sunburn to go along with it. Overall it was a great day.

Of course with the empty nest means that we are now back to our standard operating procedure in our house. Busy weekend or not it's now time for the chores to be done in a timely manner. Mistress already warned me about not having her favorite pair of pants ready for her to wear yesterday. That has been rectified and everything is back on track again.

Next few days will be spent getting things to where Mistress wants them and then I am sure the next adventure will be ready to play out.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Some extra chores

Busy week around our house, Mistress' daughter is leaving for a trip in a couple of days so they are doing a lot of preparation, shopping and things like that.

So she is having a guest for a couple of days and that person is allergic to dog hair. Not good in our house, so she wants to make sure the house is pretty free from hair, vacuuming chairs, carpet, couches, you name it.

Her daughter is also concerned about preparations for her trip so Mistress just mentions that she won't have to bother with doing all the cleaning that "He" (meaning me) will do it while they are out shopping. Of course I say without issue, "Sure, I will take care of it." Her daughter thanked me and they went out to do some shopping leaving me home to do her cleaning.

Later that night when the Daughter wasn't around Mistress said it would be a nice touch to wake up early tomorrow and clean all the floors. So this morning quite a bit earlier than I would wake up to go to work I was scrubbing away.

Everyone in the house is pretty happy now, they are for the house looking good and me for being able to have a little submissiveness early on a Wednesday morning.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Birthday and other gifts

Last weekend was my birthday, not that I say it to gain people to congratulate me. If you know me then you know I would rather no one remembered then I wouldn't have to count the added year...It works that way, right?????

I was a great day, Mistress got me an excellent gift that is used for golf and the day was fun, we attended an all day party, (not for my birthday but by coincidence it fell on the same day). So the day was spent with friends, music and of course a good friend of mine...Beer.

The point here isn't so much the birthday present but what I got the week before. Mistress went shopping for herself to get some work clothes. When she came home she also had purchased 3 new pairs of panties for me. Funny how that gift was as important to me as the birthday gift that cost probably 25 times the cost.

It made me realize that she values the idea of me wearing panties and being the submissive in our relationship. It symbolizes that her control isn't going away and it shows me that she is expects my obedience. How does it that some panties says all that?

Hmmm, not sure I can totally answer that but its just a feeling I get. When she brought them home and gave them to me she was very to the point to say, "here are some new panties for you, some of the other ones are getting worn out." It was put as a cold hard fact that by her decision I will be wearing panties for a long time to come.

I thanked her for those panties just as much as I thanked her for the awesome birthday gift. I guess what the panties represent in our relationship is a gift much greater than anything that can be bought in a store.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Reevaluating where we are at.

I guess in some ways I am happy just as things are. I read other blogs and realize that our lifestyle is probably not as exciting as others. Sometimes I think should I want more? Or are things good just the way they are?

We are full time FLR without a doubt. We live the life and it feels spectacular, we are both happy and wouldn't ever go back to a vanilla relationship. But at times it gets you to wonder, what is it that makes your relationship tick.

With us it isn't kink although I suppose kneeling in front of your partner and having her judge you on what you do is kinky in it's own right. But it is a bit different from others.

Its real life, real life issues with the only difference from a vanilla relationship is who is in charge.

I have given this much thought the last few days since my last post and what I came up with is this.

I don't want anything to change with how we are. Now I understand it won't make for as exciting reading for my audience but it's the real us. I decided when I began reposting after my long absence that I was going to write for me. As my outlet for my experiences.  I admit I do that but sometimes I have been reluctant to post lately as there is no exciting FLR things happening.

As much as I write for myself I certainly don't want people to read and yawn at what I write so I guess it leaves me reevaluating things. Not my relationship but more about writing.

I guess what I have decided is this. Stay true to what I decided, write for me, for my outlet of my thoughts. Hopefully there will be enough excitement to not bore those that enjoy to read my blog. But also understand the quantity of movie filled D/s story lines won't be abundant.

There will be times where things happen exciting and I will be sure to post them but overall I can't promise an exciting soap opera that will leave you wanting the next chapter.

I am good with that though. I think for me it's important to document some of the regular going on's as well as the exciting stuff.

This has been spurred on because I have been posting less because quite frankly things that have been happening haven't been as story worthy. I need to change that and just document what happens more and worry about telling a gripping story less.

Also please don't take this post incorrectly, this is in no way a "poor me" thing. I am perfectly happy with how things are, I guess I need to understand that I don't need to always have something extraordinary to write to post something.

I have in the last few weeks had at least 4 times where I was just going to sit down and blogged but decided against it because what I would have wrote about wasn't what I would call "Newsworthy".

See you soon.


Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Oh Oh

Ok, what a submissive feeling I am going thru now. Of course we all have our peaks and valley's and right now is a big time peak for me. Something about Mistress's daughter coming home from college does that. Why?

Well partly is because I know the empty nest is over for a little while and we won't be able to be as open about our relationship. Almost like you know you are going to miss it so it intensifies before it has to be shelved a bit.

But also because just knowing most of the things I do will go on but in front of her. Knowing that both of them will leave their dishes for me to clean up. The only difference will be Mistress won't say, "Clean up these dishes while I go watch TV." Instead it will be just a quiet thank you and be left to my work. I guess in some ways I can't help think her daughter knows and every subsequent time it happens I assume she understands a bit more of how Mistress and my relationship is.

I am always conflicted that one day Mistress will just say to me, "She knows about us and I expect you to obey her." Not sure how I would handle that but I am sure I would do what I am supposed to and obey her if that is what Mistress decides.

Still I think the fear of being found out adds to my submissiveness in times like these.

I guess only time will tell.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Fun Times

Life has been exciting, fun and extremely hectic lately.

Between work, golf with my Mistress and outside commitments the spring (or you might call spring) time is flying by.

One thing I am happy about is the status of our lives together, even though life is busy and hectic, she still expects obedience and the proper behavior from me. All in all it just makes things a bit better than they already are. It allows me to never be far from what I love, never allow me to miss the experience of submitting to her and keeps me focused on what I should do all the better.

If you are in an FLR I do recommend that no matter how busy life is, try to keep your FLR rules alive. Even if it isn't convenient and sometimes maybe even difficult its well worth the effort.

A couple of days ago after a long day of work for both of us we came home ate, dinner and relaxed on the couch. In the middle of that she out of the blue says, "Did you clean the upstairs closet like I told you to?"

I answered I had not due to the hectic days. She simply answered, "I understand, but I want it done tomorrow, not my problem on how you find the time to do it."

Of course that put everything we do in perspective and reminded me that no matter how things go, I still need to answer to her and that she is the one in charge.

I know in the land of kinky D/s we are pretty boring but for us it still keeps the excitement alive.

Monday, April 21, 2014

A different take

First of all the Easter season made for a busy time for us.

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates and for those that don't hope you had a great day also.

After reading I'm hers and Femdom 101 blogs. About the woman who found out her Daughter in Law was going to be the boss of her son. I am left with some mixed emotions.

First as an advocate for a female led relationship I would like to make that woman understand that all that matters is that her son is happy, that the couple lives a love filled marriage and it lasts forever. If what makes them happy is to have her in charge, then that is what counts.

I know better though. Many people won't and can't understand or accept this type of lifestyle. Is it because of the kink (if it exists in the relationship), is it because it's the opposite of what society has taught is the correct way to be, is it because it's different and in the mind of most different is bad? Who knows but all I know is it is right for us. Its right for a lot of the people I have had the pleasure of meeting here in the land of blogging. And maybe that will just have to do. Yes I would love the chance to explain to that woman that what her son is going to experience is exactly what he wants out of life but there is a good chance she, or if she does learn to understand, other will never get it. Never accept it or never realize why it is a viable way to live.

I suppose for me to try to understand I have to think about other different lifestyles. Maybe gay/lesbian relationships or polygamist relationships. I might not be able to understand the appeal but what I know is that they do it because it is right for them. That's what matters.

There will always be those that fight against that isn't considered "normal". We all know the plight of gay/lesbian couples and their fight for equal rights. My guess is that if FLR's were more prominent we might face some (not as much because its still a female/male relationship) hurdles for acceptance with the general public. Again I am not comparing the plights of the two groups just making that point that something that isn't "normal" will tend to be looked down on and more likely not understood.

While I think it's a great idea to educate that woman who contacted Kathy, it's also important to realize some people can't be made to understand.

I would love to go to a top of a mountain and scream to the world what I am, what our relationship is and why it is the best thing that ever happened to me. But that isn't the reality of it. Maybe one day it will be but not currently. I'm hers was a bit concerned about a recent post of his and how might that woman perceive his post if she saw it. I guess all I can say is it is what it is. We are what we are. There are some parts of this type of relationship that maybe not will understand. I guess all we can do is ask those people to understand that it's what we want and please respect it. Maybe some parts don't need to be understood by all.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Feeling of self worth.

So how is it as a sub you follow the orders of your Mistress, know that you have to obey her, feel the power she possess over you, understand that she is the unquestioned leader and her opinion counts as law, yet you feel self worth, feel important and in some ways feel liberated in your relationship?

For me it has to do with confidence in yourself and your abilities and confidence in your Mistress.

Can you imagine the following discussion with a buddy at the bar...

Me: "Ok, I got to get going. It was fun, lets get together again soon."
Friend: "Why are you leaving let's have another beer."
Me: "I can't I asked my fiancee if I could stay longer and she said I needed to be home by 10pm."
Friend: "Really, do you do everything she says?"
Me: "Yes."
Friend: "Wow, maybe you need a backbone, that sounds kind of wimpy. Why do you let her get away with that?"
Me: "Its how we both want it, I'm not wimpy and have plenty of backbone, it's just who we are."
Friend: "Does she have to be home when you tell her to?"
Me: "No, she is free to do what she wants."
Friend: "Aren't you?"
Me: "No I have rules I have to follow."
Friend: "And she doesn't?"
Me: "No she follows rules too. She just makes the rules for each of us and they aren't the same."
Friend: "You don't have a problem with that?"
Me: "No it's what I have always dreamed of."
Friend: "Ok, suit yourself but maybe next time we go out I should ask your fiancee if you can go out or not."
Me: "Whichever, you can ask her or I can ask her."
Friend: "So what if she says she can go out and you have to stay home and do her laundry?"
Me: "It wouldn't be the first time."
Friend: "Don't you feel like a loser, having to do what someone else says all the time?"
Me: "Not at all, I have never been as happy and not don't feel like a loser in any way. I have been the leader in the past, I have been the boss. I know I can do it but she is just better at it, so the job is hers."
Friend: "Wow, I fight for power all the time with my wife. Who gets to drive, who gets to decide what we are doing, what we are buying."
Me: "In my past relationships I did the same thing."
Friend: "How did you get past that huge obstacle of letting go of control?"
Me: "Had to find a person I was willing to follow, that I could trust enough to lead."
Friend: "Well good for you, sounds like this is the best thing for you guys."

Pretty good chance a discussion with a friend would never end this way. That is why I think that we can't make our status public. We understand why we are submissive and we enjoy what we get out of it and we have the confidence to follow the lead of another but getting an outsider to understand is probably extremely difficult. I have never tried to discuss it with an outsider that isn't a fellow submissive or domme but my guess is it wouldn't go so well.

So if I am confident, successful and want to obey my girl, why would that be looked at as a negative by the vanilla world? Is it because they don't have the confidence in themselves or are secure enough about them selves to allow someone else to lead?

Maybe a past experience would lend some clarity.

When I was coaching and was at the beginning of my career, anytime I was with other coaches I would have that feeling that I wanted to show off, show what I knew, that I was equal to their abilities that I was good at this. When we would go to coach training sessions for licensing I would always try to be one of the leaders of the group, I thought it was just how I was. After years of coaching I began to change. I would be ok with other's leading the group, knowing my knowledge was equal or greater than them I had no problem letting the young guy get some experience at the forefront, I didn't have the feeling that I needed to show off. Because I was confident and didn't need to prove myself anymore.

I think that is what a submissive, especially us older ones learn. We don't need to be the ones in charge. However if pressed into duty my Mistress knows I can still be a valuable tool for her and I am plenty comfortable in my abilities that I don't need to prove them. The power is someone else's privilege now. That doesn't make me better than her, it doesn't make me worse it just makes me content in filling the role that she has decided I should.

Maybe that vanilla friend is missing that contentment in life. Maybe also that is why there are more submissive men that are living the lifestyle as they get older.

Who knows just my  thoughts.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Submissive life as the weather turns

Well first of all I want to apologize a bit. First with things being so busy I have not had time to blog as much as I would like. But just as importantly I want to apologize to those people whose blogs I read consistently. I feel bad not keeping up on what is going one with everyone.

With the weather warming Mistress decided our first outdoor golf day was in order. Not a moment too soon I might add. Also finished installing a new bar in our rec room. Complete with a display cabinet for shot glasses. All custom made with Solid surface bar top. Mistress is very happy with the results.

Now that is done I can concentrate on more submissive things. Like raking leaves and continually adjusting my panties that aren't staying up correctly. One thing I have to admit, when the weather turns nicer choosing panties has a different approach. For one thing certain panties ride different. So if you are golfing and wearing a pair that doesn't keep things in so well there could be issues. Or the ones that don't stay up so well due to the lack of proper shape they were made for. Luckily Mistress allows me to choose which ones I wish to wear each day. However when she is in one of those moods she may purposely make me change them to a pair that she knows will give me trouble. She absolutely loves to ask me why I am continually adjusting things while we are golfing. Knowing darn well that she caused it all by making me wear a certain pair of panties. She then will always take the opportunity that she may choose to not wear a pair because she has that right and option while I don't.

It's just part of the fun we have and her way of flaunting her authority.

Thank god she enjoys that almost as much as I do.


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Strange Week

Strange week it was.

Getting over being sick. Weather changing, met a new friend for lunch, first time meeting with a person who shares my submissive desires. We had a great time and will definitely do it again. Probably one day our Mistress' will meet. That could be trouble for both of us. LOL.

Besides that late last week Mistress got upset at me, not I forgot to make the bed or make sure her jeans were washed upset but really upset.

I was worried about something and completely lost my thought process. Didn't show her the proper respect I usually do and she didn't like it. She asked me straight up, "Is your submissiveness going to be conditional, or full time." The question really surprised me and the worst part was I was completely oblivious to the fact that the lack of respect actually happened. I was so sidetracked by the issue at hand.

It really caused some inward thought to happen, I was really upset at myself, more than she was at me.

It brought me to a place where I used to be in my past, where I was less aware of what was going on around me, kind of like tunnel vision. I have spent the last 5 years on leaving this part of me in the past and for it to pop up, even if it was for a few minutes really made me unhappy with myself. It reminded me of a selfish time in my life. A time that I look back as the dark portion of my life.

Without going into too much detail about the actual incident because it really wasn't the issue, the issue was more basic in regards to our relationship.

First I felt I let her down, she even let me know that what happened was a small thing and not a big deal but she wanted for us to be honest about what we are in regards to our D/s life together.

After a long evening of just talking about it I realize now that as much as I want this to be real, for my life as her submissive, her servant and my life of obeying her to be real, not a game, she wants the same thing. She didn't like what happened and felt disrespected and felt that as her sub I owed her more...She couldn't have been more correct and just getting questioned about it really opened me up to raw nerves of emotion that I haven't felt for a long time.

The healing from that really helped solidify everything about what we are even more. The weekend was spent doing the things we love to do, we golfed, we went out to the bar, watched some sports and had a great time and spent some alone time together as well but her dominance was in high gear and she did put it to good use. Lets just say each day I was quite tired after serving her for the day. It was truly almost a great weekend.

I say almost because Sunday afternoon found both of our teams lose in the elite 8 of the NCAA basketball tournament. We are a house divided and being from Michigan you can probably guess the two schools we root for. Her team is puke green and white while mine is a beautiful shade of maize and blue. Hahahaha. good thing she doesn't read my blog, my ass would look like Jay's from sub hub in phoenix. LOL.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Sick again...Really???

Sorry for being away but I was sick again. This time it was a good 5 days of not being sick enough to stay home but enough to make things miserable. Went to the Hockey game Thursday night and had to leave after the second period, missed a great Wing's win in overtime against Pittsburgh. Mistress was fine with going but I was disappointed we missed the end.

Besides that it has been a less than submissive week for me. A few of the days were not possible to go home and do what I needed to do to serve Mistress. She of course was fine with it but she was sad the one night that I was feeling so bad I asked to skip giving her the nightly lotion application. She understood but at the same time I could tell she was disappointed.

Well coming out of that Mistress has determined that the long winter has caused too much inactivity for me. So I am taking Vitamins now and getting active again. This winter really has done some damage to my activity level and the rest of me is suffering.

Well the weather is breaking so all excuses are done anyways. I look forward to getting back to where I usually am and I have already resumed my duties of serving my wonderful Mistress.

By the way as an update from my last post, thanks to Mistress Marie and I'm Hers for the advise. Unfortunately I wrote the essay before reading your ideas. As it turned out She did not like the essay so much and said I spent too much time going over why I should not have forgotten about keeping the stapler where she wants it instead of what I am going to do in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again. Oh and she found a couple of spelling mistakes and a grammar issue.

Now that I am healthy I am going to be paying for that.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

A stapler is causing all this????

Yesterday Mistress had to work late. I got home at normal time and decided it would be a good idea to make the house looking very nice for Mistress' return home.

I worked for about 2 1/2 hours downstairs making sure everything was in good shape....

Well on the kitchen table were some items that mistress uses when she does the books for the business. I took these items upstairs in order to make it look less cluttered when she got home.

She came home and was happy about the job I did, we ate dinner and she did payroll. After payroll was completed she looked for her stapler to finish up her work. I have to admit we have had this talk before about putting things away she needs on the days she needs them. I should have remembered when cleaning up that it was payroll day and yet I still took her supplies and put them where it made it difficult for her to find them.

She wasn't angry about it but informed me while laying in bed that tomorrow(today after work) I would have to write her an essay explaining why I am having a difficult time remembering to leave the things she needs on a certain day in the places she wants them and how I can do a better job in the future. She explained that she understood that it was my job to clean up after her and keep the house clean but that putting the things she needed for payroll away 2 hours before she was going to be using them made more work for her. That it would have been much better to wait until she was done with it, then to put things away.

Like I said she wasn't angry but just wants me to learn better to anticipate her needs and think ahead to make things easier for her.

She has already put me on notice that the stapler itself isn't the issue its the thought process behind it. And she has informed me that if the essay doesn't meet her approval then there will be follow up punishment.

Any ideas of what I should incorporate? I have a good base for it but any ideas would be appreciated. You just might save me a red ass before this night is over.


Monday, March 17, 2014

Keeping it fresh after 3 1/2 years.

Mistress and I have been together for 4 1/2 years now. The best time of my life without a doubt.

3 1/2 years ago we embarked on our FLR, although and I dare to say even that first year was spent with her being in control to some degree.

When we began this journey I think we both wondered if it could last. The fantasy part of it was new and awesome, I was experiencing things that I only dreamed about. But I couldn't help wonder, what would happen after a few years, would the excitement wear off? Would it be a flash in the pan?

If you are new to this type of lifestyle or if you haven't experienced it yet let me reassure you, if you work on it and allow it to evolve it just gets better. I will admit those moments in the early days where I would just think about our new relationship and I my stomach would tingle with butterflies that doesn't happen as often but all it takes is one sentence from her and those butterflies are back, still to this day.

The key is to let it evolve. When you begin this journey we all have a visual, one that probably has been going through our mind for years, of what we hope it will be like. When it happens it's the best feeling in the world. I remember like it was yesterday the first time Mistress sat on the couch and had me kneel before her. It was in the first few weeks after we started our FLR, and we started very slowly, she asked me if something she wanted to wear was clean. She already knew the answer but wanted to hear what I had to say. When my answer was an excuse about why her clothing item wasn't ready for her to wear she said this line. "My laundry being done is a priority over you watching TV, I suggest you get to work."

There wasn't punishment following it but it was the first time in my life I was being lectured about not doing something that normally wouldn't be considered my responsibility. I got up to go to the laundry room and that also was the first time, certainly not the last, that she confiscated my phone and said, "While you are working for me you leave your phone here. I don't want you doing personal things while you are on my time." The hard on I had was incredible with just two sentences.

3 1/2 years later those words will still get me hard and excited but they happen less often. First of all, her laundry is done when it should so the amount of time being lectured is less often. But that isn't a negative, we evolve. She finds other ways to explore her dominance to keep me excited and I obey her without question now which was hard to do at the beginning. That has evolved for me.

The bottom line is you need to work at it, just like any relationship to continue to keep things fresh. It doesn't happen automatically but after this length of time I am convinced that if you choose to work at it, you can keep it fresh forever, keep it exciting forever and never worry that in time you will lose your FLR. I am sure that most people who cherish this lifestyle will worry from time to time about losing that excitement. Don't! Actively work on it and it will be yours forever.

A couple of things I didn't consider when we started this relationship will pretty much guarantee its longevity. First I didn't realize that in time Mistress would get used to this type of treatment and used to being in control. She has said on many occasions that "There is no going back now."

Also I didn't realize that in addition to the fantasy excitement of being dominated by her that I would also feel so comfortable with her in control. With those two factors we are in this till the end. So since it isn't going to change then as a couple we work at it to make it the best we can.

Not only is it possible to have an FLR forever with us its probably not possible NOT to have one.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

In reference to I'm Hers post Is Two times the charm?

If you haven't read it already, I recommend you read I'm Hers post today, it really made me think about my own situation.

In case you haven't read it and don't have time to go over there, his post is called "Is two times the charm?"

He writes about the reason why many femdom relationships are successful as second marriages.

This really hit home for me. Obviously I wouldn't write about it if I wasn't in that exact situation but I have thought many hours on why this is the case? Before even reading this post I thought for the last few years on what is different this time around and why we are successful in a femdom relationship.

Well the easy answer is everything, but to be more specific there are a few things that make the FLR dynamic work for us now.

Mistress and I have talked in the past about what could have been, how our lives would be different if we met early in life instead of in our forties.

We came to the conclusion that there is an almost certainty that if we would have met when we were 20 we would have never been together. Huh? What? Why?

We were both different people back then.

Back then I was submissive inside, I knew it and fantasized about it, but outwardly I was trying to climb the ladder of success, I wanted the most for me, wanted to be the best, have the most, be successful and be able to boast to my friends that I was "winning" the battle of life. Back then there is no way I could have accepted being under the control of my girl, no matter how badly I secretly wanted it, there is no way I would have let that happen. Then something happened to me...maturity.

Maturity for me happened when I was dumped by my first wife. Yes dumped utterly and completely. She even made comments that she hoped I would not find happiness because she wanted me to be miserable. Was I guilty of treating her really terribly? No and she admits that, she just knew that I was a person that couldn't read hints well. So when things weren't good I thought they were fine and this made her angry...Not angry enough to actually discuss what was wrong...no that was supposed to be something I just knew and because I didn't she didn't want to go on. Well as I have matured I now realize what I am. She was right I really don't see things all the time, but now I realize I don't, and I was selfish, even if it was in the best interest of the family from my point of view, but that was only from my point of view.

Maturity has allowed me to see things from the other side, how another understands and sees things. And it has changed me, changed me enough to allow me to be confident with who I am and confident of what I have done in life.

I remember when I got married the first time around and buying our first house, it was a competition to see who got their name on the phone bill, electric, and god forbid my name would have been on the bottom of the checking account. Now I have the confidence to not only not care but also to admit to myself that Mistress should be at the top. Not just behind closed doors but also when it comes to simple things like that.

For Mistress when she was young she had no confidence and in her first marriage it was less than a good relationship to allow her to gain confidence.

When we met Mistress had come along way in her life, got her degree, a good job and was very self sufficient but she still lacked confidence. When she met me she says through the way I treated her that it instilled confidence in her. That allowed for the base for our current relationship.

So without our personal journey's through the early days of our life what we have now would never be possible. I would never have the confidence in myself to obey her and she would have never had the confidence to lead. She would have always worried that what she was doing was wrong or that I wouldn't like it. She still from time to time worries I won't like something but she has the confidence in herself to do what she thinks is right and the confidence in the strength of our relationship to realize that as the leader sometimes your decision won't be what the other wants but is the best for the couple. She also has the confidence in me to know that I will abide by her decision, not second guess her and adopt her decision as our family decision not to later say, "See, I would have done it this way."

Never a chance what we have now would have been possible if we would have met in our 20s'

We needed proper baking at a certain temperature for years and years to get us both ready for what we have now.

For us everything that led up to where we are now was molded because of our past. We just got lucky that we met when we did to allow us to have what we have now.

One last point about this whole topic is that if one is smart, and I am not talking about rocket science IQ score, I am referring to smart in terms of learning from life, accepting and admitting your mistakes and actually using your mistakes as a way to learn to make you a better person. Well if you are smart like I described then when you are making your list of qualities you are looking for in your second marriage you are going to "usually" do a much better job than when you made that list the first time around.

I suppose this is why most CEO's aren't 22, they need to learn from failures, successes and apply them to what direction they lead to, for themselves and the company they run. If the workers of a company don't trust the leadership of the CEO things don't usually run well.

In our house Mistress is the CEO, she has that experience and her worker trusts that leadership without question. She is smart enough to use her assets, get opinions from her worker but in the end our family flies by the rules set forth by our CEO.

I know there are a lot of people that read that don't have partners and are still looking for the perfect one. Never stop looking, that person is out there but when you find them be prepared, be ready, learn from your past, become a better partner so you don't miss out on them. Someday that person is walking into your life and you will never know what day that is, it could be tomorrow, a year from now or you could be sitting 20 feet away from them everyday in a cubicle. But do NOT wait until that day to become better, be ready and waiting and when they show up your chances of a successful relationship are already going to be much improved over the statistics.


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

As things progress, the smile on my face grows.

One thing I have noticed about how our FLR progresses. Things don't always just abruptly change. Nope, Mistress sets a rule, decides something should be done a certain way and then things just slowly move on.

What do I mean? For example, Monday night I asked Mistress if we were going to do something on Tuesday night. She answered, "Well I am going shopping, I have a few things to pick up, I want you to stay home and get this house looking better than it does now." It wasn't a dig at me just acknowledgement that on busy weekends, especially with kids visiting, things can get messy quickly.

So yesterday I come home from work, donned something appropriate to clean in, and got to it. Eventually Mistress comes home and I stop what I am doing to see her. I sit down with her and talk about the day. We go back and forth for about a half hour and then she says, "So when did you get done cleaning?" I respond, "Actually I am not done yet, I still have a little to finish."  She answers, "Then why are you sitting here when you should be working and why aren't you on your knee's like you are supposed to be." Which immediately hits home with me.

I realize then that I forgot something that she set up long ago. When I approach her she likes when I respectfully kneel in front of her and wait for her to  address me. I just sat in the chair and began talking. She noted that maybe after time the rules she sets up are becoming taken for granted. She also let me know that she would figure out some way to keep me minding her rules later in the week. Not sure what it is yet but that will be for another blog.

The point is the change happens gradually, and the slip ups seem egregious when you forget to do something that seems normal for a long time. The time you forget things it seems almost alien to go against the rules that have been set up.

Then you think about the object of it even further and compare it to the vanilla world and it seems even more strange.

"Did I just get in trouble for speaking to my fiancee without waiting on my knee's for her to acknowledge me?" The answer to that question would be yes. But the bigger point is that it seems normal to do that. Over time it has evolved into that. At first it felt erotically strange to kneel before her and have a conversation. Now it feels strange not to. Although feeling strange is probably not going to be as bad as the punishment she has in store for later this week.



Saturday, March 8, 2014

Awesome day.

Today is a good day, Saturday, a day off work, well the kind that you get paid for. The temperatures are a bit warmer and Mistress is out wedding dress shopping.

She and her daughter are trying on dresses for our upcoming wedding later this year. I on the other hand am going to stay home and do some chores that Mistress wants done. I guess I will be trying on dresses also. LOL.

Point is it makes for a good day, she is excited about her daughter being home for the weekend, she is excited about dress shopping and I am also excited to indulge in some maid service while they are gone.

To the outside reader not understanding who we are they would probably think I am getting the short end of the deal today. Couldn't be further from the truth.

Add to that Mistress has had a jump in her dominance the last few days. Even going as far as making sure after I cooked dinner for the 3 of us she made a point of joking to her daughter, "Guess who gets to clean up dinner tonight?" I joked back, "I clean up dinner every night." It was one of those fun moments that doesn't cross the line of what we are but pushes the boundary a bit. Her daughter doesn't know how our relationship is but I am sure she suspects something.

The last couple of weeks has been difficult with the weather and just moods seeming to be down. Hopefully the weather is changing now in a more permanent way. Well permanent until summer ends, which here in Michigan is probably 4th of July.


Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Different perspectives

Don't really have a lot to report today but I do want to send out a quick thanks to all the people who read as well as the other bloggers out there.

It feels really good after living for years, decades and longer thinking that no one was like me, then finding out that there are many that are the same.

I know we don't have the same things that turn us on, the same triggers for our submissiveness and we have different ways of acting, showing each other what we mean to each other and for many just have a plain different way of handling the issues that arise in a FLR.

Some of us are on the sub side and some on the domme side but in the end we are all on the same team.

The truth is though that we all have a lot in common and it feels good to be a part of it.

So thanks to everyone who reads what I write and for those who write allowing me to have something to read. It has changed my life and has made my life seem much more full now. Gone is that emptiness of thinking there is something wrong with you or thinking you are on an island.

Obviously the biggest thanks goes to Mistress for teaching me that being who I am is not only ok but that I am truly accepted, wanted and loved for what I am.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Winter blahs and submissiveness

I think part of being submissive and enjoying service is about being happy in general terms.

A couple weeks back I wrote about what kills your submissive desires. Stress, crisis, orgasms etc.

I think the winter blahs are a indirect cause also. Maybe not directly but I believe it's hard to be submissive when the world just seems gray and cold. I guess for me submissiveness is related to my happiness. It makes me happy to be submissive and when I am happy my submissiveness is most prevalent.

So this morning Mistress tells me (via text) she is out of pantyhose for work, I apologized to her and her response was, "It's ok, no biggee."

She then came back with, "I think this weather is putting us both off kilter."

Usually I don't forget to have her stocked up on the things she needs and usually it isn't ok when I do forget to do something like that.

It's a good day to throw the weather bullshit in the garbage, get over and above the cold and crappy weather outside the window and start acting like I want to and how I need to.

Not just to make her happy but to make me happy. I need to use my submissiveness as a tool to get myself in a better frame of mind as these last few weeks (or months....) of winter pass. Not only will it do me good but it will also elevate Mistress as well.

As the sub I am not in charge but I do have the ability to control things a bit by just being positive, being happy and the best way for me to do that is to embrace my submissiveness and resist that temptation to be lazy.

Laziness zaps everything positive out of me. It always has. I know it...and it's a perfect day to change it.


Starting right this second.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Fun weekend but looking forward to warmer days.

Mistress and I had a fun weekend. Played in a pool tournament, which we really didn't do that well in, actually went bowling, which is something we never do and mixed it in with a bunch of together time.

I guess with the ridiculous weather our options are a bit limited these days but we are making the best of it.

No there was no time to enjoy my cleaning and dressing fun but there was some dominance mixed into the weekend.

We were at a bar, practicing for the tournament we were going to play in the next day. Just having a couple of drinks and enjoying the day. I went to the bar to get another drink for us when the bartender asked me if we wanted menu's to eat. Not wanting to leave the bar area until the drinks were ready I yelled over to Mistress to see if she wanted a menu. She nodded she did and all was fine.

Until...I got back to our table. Mistress came up to me and looked me in the eyes and said in a low voice so no one else could hear. "Don't do that again, if you want me, come see me, don't yell at me across the bar."
I didn't even understand that until she brought it up to me, then I saw why she thought it wasn't very respectful. Now it's not a major thing but it is something that she doesn't like. I am pretty sure it goes back to how she was treated in the past.

She then told me. "Next time you do that I will bend your ass over this stool and give it to you good in front of everyone."

Now I know that was more for effect, I can't be sure but I don't think she would do such a thing in public. But the point is not to push her and find out.

After the moment was over and a promise that sometime this week, when she decides, I will have to pay the price for that behavior. That is Mistress' way of making me think about it. Not knowing when it will come, yet knowing there is no chance she decides to let it go. I have to say it's very effective.

Anyways after the moment was over we continued our play and went back to having fun. At one point she came up to me and said, "Oh by the way if you want to yell across the bar to me again, make sure you use Mistress when you call me." She laughed and I thought about the prospect of yelling Mistress across the bar. I just said, "How about I just come see you next time."

She agreed that it would be a good idea.


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Thanking her

Now that I am fully recovered from being sick, Mistress has me doing a lot of things around the house.

Last night she kept me working until almost 9:30pm. While I worked she watched swamp people. Just another example of how things are in our house.

Earlier that afternoon when I got home from work, I got dressed and cleaned the bathroom, which happens to be my least favorite task, why? Mistress likes the bathroom cleaned a certain way, and the way she likes it accomplished takes quite a while. Her reason is simple, "I know it's more work but since I don't have to do it I think it's completely worth the extra effort." She didn't assign me this task but I figured it was coming so I was hoping having it done when she got home would allow me to relax more that evening.

Wrong..... After I made dinner and cleaned up she sent me to clean our bedroom, the most difficult part of this is her makeup area. Everything needs to be put away in the proper place and cleaned as she likes it. When that was done I knelt in front of her, focused my eyes down to the floor and waited while she ignored me until the game she was playing on her iPad was complete, she then asked me.

"Yes?"

"Mistress I am done cleaning your bedroom, thank you for assigning me to do this task, is there anything else I will be doing for your this evening?"

Yes, I thanked her. Wait, thank you for sending me to clean your mess up? Thank you for allowing me to fold your laundry? Thank you for allowing me to clean the bathroom?

Yup, thanking her is my idea. I really do appreciate her allowing me to live out my submissive desires. I know she gets things out of it,  a clean house, an obedient servant, etc. But I am the lucky one. She didn't spend decades fantasizing bout living this way, I did. So living this way is something I am thankful for, more than she may ever imagine.

I do admit, at 9pm on a weeknight when you want to relax, its sometimes difficult thanking someone for making you do something you really didn't feel like doing. But that is part of the allure for me. It makes it even more submissive for me, make it even better so I guess at those times the thanks should be even more heartfelt.

I will continue to thank her for allowing me to serve her. It makes me feel good and puts a good perspective on what we have become.



Monday, February 24, 2014

Sunday morning cleaning.

Saturday night was one where Mistress and I just relaxed at home, we were going to go out but Mistress felt like just relaxing and having a few drinks.

So that is what we did, after a few Sailor Jerry's and coke zero's I was feeling pretty good, I suppose I don't drink enough to say I am good at drinking so about 4 or 5 drinks had me flying pretty good, it was a pretty fun and relaxing evening until....

Mistress decided right before bed that I needed to get up early and clean. I asked her nicely if I could sleep in a bit and clean and she thought about it with her answer being..No. She reasoned that she was going to wake up around 9 and wanted at least downstairs clean when she woke up...

So at 6am I was awake, dressed in something that allowed me to appreciate my status as her maid and began cleaning. I have to say after drinking the night before my head was pounding. Ok I will admit I am a light weight. So I had to decide should I push on and clean, headache and all, go back to bed and explain to Mistress that I didn't obey her because of my hangover or wake her at 6am to ask.

Option 3 was probably the worst idea so I did not wake her.

Option 2 sounded like a good idea and at times when I don't feel good she is always lenient on me taking care of myself first. However I didn't think she would be as forgiving with my affliction being a hangover.

Now I could have reasoned that if I would have known she was going to tell me to get up early and clean then I would have only had 2 or 3 drinks the night before. But I know she would have said, "You should have realized that I might have had you clean and been better prepared." So I pressed on with option A.

Hangover and all I cleaned and it was about an hour and a half later, a lot of water and a few alleve's before the headache was gone.

When she awoke at 9 the downstairs was looking good and she was happy.

I asked her later what would she have done if I used the hangover excuse to disobey her.

Her answer was simple, "Why don't you try it next time and see what happens?"

Well that answered that question, I would have had one sore ass for a few days. Looks like I made the right choice.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

My submissive battery.

I know all of us subs have a submissive battery. That energy that we get thru our love for submission that makes everything we do for our girls easy.

I also know there are certain things that cause that battery to temporarily drain. Leaving it difficult to be your submissive best.

For me there are 4 things that drain my submissive battery.

The first is an orgasm. Yup we all get that, we get a release and afterwards there is that time period after where we aren't as obedient, aren't as pampering or even sometimes as caring as when the battery is fully charged. I guess that is one of the main reasons for chastity for many of us. For me that drain doesn't last too long, I have heard guys take a couple of days or longer, I usually am pretty ready to go the next day.

For me the second is stress, this might not be for everyone but for me nothing makes me less likely to come home and look forward to a night of cleaning and obedience than a crappy day at work. I have different methods that Mistress has instructed me to use to combat this but it isn't always effective. My best method is to stop at the front door of our house each day when I get home and say to myself. "When I enter this door my time belongs to my Mistress." That always helps me decompress and get into a better frame of mind to do what I love best....Submit to my owner.

The Third one is being sick. This happened earlier this week and it absolutely drained every bit of submissiveness from me. I am better today and the battery is already to about 50% recharged but I was shocked at how long that battery was on empty this past week. I have to say I hated every minute of not being able to be what I want to be for Mistress but we both understood why and Mistress took care of me quite well. She knows I am feeling better now and she let me know that effective this morning all duties are expected to be completed as usual. She didn't actually announce this, she just went back to our normal course of things this morning. Of course just knowing this made the battery charge jump about 15%.

The fourth is less likely but it is a crisis. Whenever a crisis occurs I immediately fall into Alpha mode. I think this goes for all of us and maybe is really a subcategory of stress.

I am curious to know what causes others to have their submissive batteries drain, and of course if the women have comments about what they notice in their guys I would love to hear that as well.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Weather....Under it and Over it.

Dear blog, I am sorry for not writing in you the last couple of days but I have been under the weather. Still not feeling my best but good enough to not let being sick get in the way of life.

Funny when not feeling good how Mistress turns into authority figure to doing whatever she can to make me feel better. I guess that is the best part of being in a relationship like ours. No matter how much she and I both enjoy her being in charge and flaunting that authority. Love and taking care of each other is still the most important thing.

I guess we should clarify one thing, even when I am sick and lying on the couch watching figure skating...and if you knew me you would know that figure skating isn't exactly my favorite thing to watch. Scratch that last statement, I do like to watch skating but I prefer when the skaters are missing teeth, are carrying sticks and using them to propel a piece of frozen rubber at a goal with some poor person (guy or girl) actually trying to put their body in front of the frozen rubber travelling at sometimes 100 mph. Now that is a sport. And if you haven't figured out what sport it is then there is probably no use explaining further.

Ok back to the point of what I am clarifying. Even when sick, Mistress is still very much in charge, although obedience might involve staying on the couch and allowing her to make soup it is still obedience.

If one studies our FLR (and most others I assume) it wouldn't take much to figure out that the Leader of the household sometimes will do what is needed to keep her sub healthy and happy. My Mistress did a wonderful job of taking care of me the last few days and I am now ready to be back in my proper position...on my knees and at her feet. Ah, life is good.

And to complete the explanation of the title of todays post, Weather, under it and over it. I was under the weather and now I am so far over the crappy weather we have had for the last 2 months I am anxiously awaiting something that seems it will never show....SPRING.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Valentine's Day and the feelings behind it

Yesterday was Valentines Day, we decided not to get each other gifts since we are saving for a wedding. I did get her some flowers, a card and some chocolate covered strawberries (freshly made) she got me a card, a pair of panties (women's panties in case you were wondering) and a shirt (guys shirt in case you were wondering). In addition to the flowers, card and strawberries I wrote her something. It was a message about how far she has come since we met, how far she has gained in her confidence, her career and just in her level of happiness. I also wrote about how even though we are 4 years older than when we met how I think she is even more beautiful than the day we met and I meant every word of it.

It got me thinking about our past, and to a particular day in the development of our FLR. It was the day that changed everything in the way we are now.

It was the early days of our FLR, back then I was new and my macho exterior would get in the way of letting my true self out. I was wanting to cross dress, at the time it was something that was new to me, not new to my fantasies but new to reality. However no matter how bad I wanted to do it, I wanted her to make me do it, like "It wasn't my choice to do this." Same goes for my submission, I felt like when she told me to do something that somehow I should act like I was obeying her against my will, that she was forcing me to be obedient.

One night she gave me a chore to do and I acted like I was going to do it but really didn't want to. She stopped me and said, "You know what, forget it." When I asked why she said, that if we were going to continue this it had to be what we both wanted. That if I was going to obey her then it would be because I wanted to obey her. She said she didn't want to force me to be in an FLR. It was then that we had a heart to heart talk and I explained that in some ways my fantasies over the years all involved me being forced to wear women's clothes, forced to obey a woman. Like I was protecting this secret I had inside of me, "It's not me, she is making me do this." Of course it was all a defense mechanism but when we had our heart to heart she said to me that, "There is nothing wrong with what you want to be, there is no harm in being the way you feel and how you like to dress and I am ok with this."

That night changed my whole life. We decided together that, I wanted to obey her and gave her control....willingly, but that from that point on she had control and I lost the ability to take it back.

She also said I could dress in her clothes but I had to do it because I wanted to AND that there needed to be parameters. She said that I liked to serve her when cross dressed so she would use that to her advantage, if I wanted to dress up, that's fine but while you are dressed you need to be cleaning my house. She also knew that I cleaned better being cross dressed, I focused more on my cleaning and didn't take short cuts when dressed. Who knows why but that didn't matter, just go with it she said.

That night changed a lot of things for me. I now am happy when she decides while sitting on the couch that I won't be done working for a while yet, just "because she said so" I know the command must be obeyed but I also know I want to obey and this is where I am happiest.

So when you think of what you love about your Valentine I can't make a long enough list about the things I love about mine.