Fear...Is a little bit healthy?

Yesterday after work Mistress and I were at home. I was making a remark about something, kind of sarcastically which she let pass, then as a joke I grabbed her ass and made another comment. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal but Mistress thought I was being a bit too cocky.

So she turned around and walked up to me quickly, it was in the kitchen and I backed up until I was stopped by the counter top, she kept pushing right into me until we were eye to eye. It was a few seconds before I realized what was going on and dropped to my knees. She remarked that it took a bit long to get on my knees and that my cockiness was a bit more than she wanted to see. She told me right then that I would be taught a lesson later. It hasn't happened yet but I know its coming.

The point is that moment when she came at me and I backed into the counter top I felt some genuine fear. Not fear for my life but just a fear of knowing I displeased her and I was at her mercy. I have to admit it was extremely exciting. It got me thinking, is it bad to fear your Mistress a little bit. My answer is no not at all.

First and foremost I know I am safe with her, so it's not an issue of fearing for my safety. But authority means she has certain powers that I don't have. Being subject to that power can sometimes cause a bit of fear. I believe not only is it exciting for a submissive to be in a position where someones authority can put you in a bit of a nervous predicament but healthy for our relationship. Yes a little fear is probably healthy.

But isn't there fear a bit in every relationship to a degree. In a vanilla relationship are there not times when maybe the guy is out with his buddies only to come home late. Is he afraid she will be pissed? Maybe the difference is in the vanilla relationship she might just keep it bottled up in her head instead of letting her displeasure out on  the guy. Not so much in an FLR. When Mistress isn't happy, it doesn't get bottled up, I have to answer for it and quickly. In my book that makes for a better a less stressful relationship.

Of course to generalize anything is not correct, there are some vanilla relationships where the woman speaks her mind and punishes. Maybe instead of an ass beating or being sent to the corner it might be the silent treatment or the cold shoulder. I am probably a minority but I would much rather have Mistress sit me down, tell me what I did wrong and punish me for it than give me the cold shoulder or the silent treatment, that is a fate worse than anything to me. Then again maybe that's why being a submissive is good for me.

Here is the thing, what does she think of it? Does she want to cause fear in me? I guess I don't know. Maybe, maybe not.

I do know that I am good with it, to coin a new phrase, "I am not afraid of fearing her." Matter of fact it makes me happy, excited, and fills me with a tingle that was reserved for intense fantasies.

"So do I like it because it's a game?" Hell no, it's not a game, we don't live a game. I respect her and I do obey her. If she decides I am going to be punished or treated in a way I don't like, I may not enjoy it it but at the same time it fills me with everything I have ever dreamed about.

"Besides how can it be real fear, if she punishes you and it really is something you don't want, you can always say no." Actually no I won't and can't. What we built up relies on me accepting her authority and trusting it. If she picked a punishment I really hated I would accept it without a thought of saying no. I have long ago crossed that bridge. If I don't like it I might ask her to reconsider but the final decision rests with her. That is where it should be and honestly I  wouldn't have it any other way.

"How is it different that the fear of close call while driving or the fear of almost falling off something?" It's a huge difference, while I might fear what she may do, I know I am going to be safe, maybe a bit sore or have a sore hand from writing but safe. It's a different feeling than that. but it does provide you with an adrenaline rush. I guess in the end it's more like the fear of being sent to the principals office back in school rather than the fear of getting hurt in a care crash.

"So does it do anything for her?" Maybe, who knows, I guess the only thing I could see her getting out of it is the knowledge that she has the power if she chooses to use it without worry that I will think negatively about it. Maybe that isn't so much of a bonus on her end, maybe it can be if it makes her comfortable in being the boss. I guess that is a question that only she could answer.

I suppose the bottom line is that the whole episode got me to think and remind me of the respect I need to show to her. Maybe that was her goal right from the beginning????