Thanks for everyone who posted a response to my last posting. I was going through a tough time for a bit. As usual the worst enemy to a good solid understanding FLR is communication.
Honestly we communicate well however sometimes when something starts to bother me I delay in bringing it up. That time between the issue entering my mind and the time where I actually discuss the situation with Mistress is the "Dangerous Time" for me. Its when my mind thinks the worst, assumes the negative and I begin to doubt myself. I never seem to doubt Mistress or her love, I just worry I am going too far, wanting too much or too focused on the submissive portion of what happens instead of properly balancing that with our regular relationship.
We talked and she reassured me that my thoughts were off base. Matter of fact I think so much so that she was surprised I was thinking things like I was. I guess just further proof that I need to stop over analyzing and continue to just follow her rules and enjoy the hell out of life.
That brings me to the next portion of today's post. Last Saturday we met up with our friends that share our lifestyle. Up until Saturday we have always kept our conversations to non FLR Topics for the most part.
Now this wasn't really a plan by us consciously to talk about certain things or not talk about certain things. I think in some ways it was more of a getting to know each other process. Of course I can only speak for myself and not the other 3 in our group but it is important to me to be friends that share a similar lifestyle than be people that share a similar lifestyle that are friends. I guess friendship should be first, lifestyle second. Of course without the common friend of I'm Hers and the fact that both couples live in this manner we never would have met but since we did I think we found that finding friendship first and foremost makes the rest better.
Well Saturday night, we are in a crowded restaurant and we begin talking about D/s things and conversation is very natural. At one point the 3 of them are discussing the fact that I tend to be too vocal during punishment sessions. I think at that point I see both girls discussing it and while the funny me wants to make light of it and maybe cut a joke in on the conversation the submissive part of me says to let the girls speak and just listen. Being new to sharing our views with others that was the first time that I had that feeling come over me.
The conversation was all at normal levels and with a bunch of people all around us it didn't seem like a big deal if anyone overheard. In some ways that just us being comfortable with who we are but for a guy who has hidden his desires from the world since age 10 or so it still took some getting used to.
On the way home I asked Mistress if she felt strange talking about things like that in front of our friends. She simply responded that it felt pretty normal to her and not a big deal. That made me extremely happy. Obviously being the one who asked for this type of relationship there can always be concerns that she isn't enjoying it as much as I am.
I think my lesson from Saturday night is simple. I any of the 4 of us enjoy living this type of relationship just as much as the others but maybe we all enjoy it for slightly different reasons. I guess that is the spice of life.
Of course we are looking forward to the next get together already. Hopefully it won't be long.
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