Holiday season, a time for fun, love and giving

So how does the holiday season tie in with living a female led relationship??

Well the simple answer is just like everyone else. Although if you are like us and have an empty nest living an FLR can be quite easy to do. When family and friends arrive though maybe some of the things that you might normally do have to be shelved from the view of others.

Obviously it shows that living an FLR isn't the most accepted way of living to the main stream world. While I know why this is the case I wish it wasn't. We have all girls for our children and I would love them to grow into having an FLR, I think its better for their self esteem, it improves their confidence and I do believe it makes their lives better and even safer. Although as we travel down this road one thing has become very apparent, just as every guy is not a good fit for an FLR neither is every girl. I can see in my own kids the ones who could live this way and which ones can't or wouldn't enjoy it.

I bring this up because as much as you would think it would be good to be honest and to explain the type of relationship we have to the kids there are many reasons not to. And certainly explaining it to the ones who could benefit from it and not the others isn't an option either.

So that leaves us hiding it, Not completely though, the girls know who is in charge, they even have joked about it from time to time,  but to what degree isn't shown or known.

So that brings me back to the holiday season, there is that part of life that is changed when the guests arrive, The not living life as usual aspect. But maybe in some ways its the same for everyone.

In a vanilla relationship, especially one where things aren't going great when guest come there is an act put on, maybe the guy is extra attentive while the guests are around where he isn't normally, maybe there is less "me" time and more together time when guests are around to show a goof face. I would assume that there are less times where the guy, or the girl, will go out with the friends after work to have a few if there are guests at home. So while us in a FLR have to change things, it appears after some thought that so do the vanilla people of the world when guests come.

Whatever the case the time is almost here for the guests to arrive and with them coming 2,000 miles there will be a lot more time together as a family rather than the times where they visit for a few hours, or come home and see friends while back in the neighborhood. I for one am looking extremely forward to the holidays this year and the time together as a family...and I will be looking forward to the return of our empty nest when its over.

I guess that makes the best of both world for us.

Have a great holidays everyone, whatever you celebrate I hope it is an awesome time of year for you and your families.

The continuation of back to normal and the holidays

As we move on things are falling back in place, Mistress made me a list of what she expects done and gave no completion date, to me this means sooner not later.

We have guests coming for the holidays so we have to finish getting our new house ready, pictures hung, furniture set, things cleaned, things unboxed and put away and whatever else that entails.

In addition to all this we are still finding time to stay active and enjoy the many things to do here in Arizona. I have to say I love this place and we are both happy with the decision to make the move.

Are there difficulties, sure, being so far from family and friends is tough but the prospect of meeting new people and making new friendships is good too, its like that exciting new adventure. We live that exciting new adventure every day and its a great feeling.

Mistress has been working later than normal the last couple weeks so the weekend are our time to get out and enjoy things, each weekend flies by like a blur and we are loving every minute of it.

One last point to make before I end this, it takes some getting used to when you see Christmas decorations and its 75 degrees outside. Growing up Christmas always meant cold and snow. Now it means shorts and a t shirt. Its great but yet takes some getting used to.

Have a great holidays everyone.

Life in the Valley of the Sun

We are adjusting quite nicely to life here in the Valley of the Sun. Still looking to meet others, which is a slow process but we are busy and life is starting to round into our new routine.

I am back to cleaning and dressing while doing so. She is starting to gain her dominant ways and we are still unpacking boxes.

Last night we hung some pictures and Mistress was looking thru a box for some more when she proclaimed, "I found my riding crop."

At that point I realized I should be on my best behavior so she wasn't inclined to give it a try.

As it turned out I escaped getting laid over the bed but as things go more and more back to normal it probably won't be long. Luckily yesterday before she got home I got all the ironing and laundry done. She was pleased with that.

All this got me thinking about others. Those times where the FLR isn't exciting as it once was or things in life get in the way of how you want things to be at home. Be patient. Be the tortoise not the hare. Sometimes its not a move but a life challenge or job stress that can effect the things you want at home. Allow them to pass and then allow a little more time. Just because the stress is gone it doesn't mean the FLR will continue immediately as if nothing happened. I think sometimes the sub men get impatient at these times and need to allow the partner to regain her footing so to speak. To get back to things in her own time and way. These last few months have proven that to me. With time and patience things will once again be exciting and new. Even if its a little different.

Life is settling finally.

While the move has been so whirlwind that many of the things that we normally accustomed to doing in our relationship have temporarily been put to the side. Slowly things are going back to our usual (new usual) patterns.

This is good for both of us, gives us a sense of comfort and structure. The one thing I will admit is when things are so crazy, life, while not bad, doesn't feel the same.

Our normal winter routine is going to be vastly different. Obviously outdoor activities and staying active are going to be at an all time high here in the Valley. The good news is that is great for our health and happiness, the drawback will be making sure things stay where they are supposed to be, cleaning house, following her rules and whatever else that might apply to.

Up in Michigan things were different depending on the season, in the summer our FLR was a bit looser due to activities, living here will be like summer all year long, well except for the 3 months of pure hell called June, July and August where barbecuing simply means tossing your steak on the sidewalk and watching it sizzle.

In time we will get to a new routine, a different routine and maybe a bit modified but in time we will become relaxed and at ease with the new normal. That is starting to happen now. Its different but a bit the same, its new but at the same time comfortable and getting better each day.

One thing that is different is friends, we do not know anyone around here, in time that will change but for now its just the two of us. Getting dropped into a new city and finding new friends isn't the quickest process and it will take time but I guess that gives us time to settle into our new routines.

Finally Relocated

Last post I was letting everyone know about a possible move.

Well it happened and its now complete. What a whirlwind the last couple of months has been but things are settling down now.

We are now in the Valley of the Sun, Phoenix Arizona and we love it here.

Things are different, weather, topography, the way people here can't drive well. Its all different but a good different.

Now its time to settle in, regain our FLR and continue our journey thru life. Don't really know anyone here yet but there is plenty of time for that.

Maybe I should change my name to sub hub from Phx. Wait that is already taken. LOL.

Well my posts will be more regular now that things are back to some sort of normal.

Looking forward to seeing what everyone has been up to lately.

Fast Summer

Hi Everyone, what a summer its been, vacations, weddings, work etc.

Time has flown and been so busy our FLR has suffered a bit, not a lot but just no time to keep things in proper perspective.

Now that the summer is rapidly ending there is another issue going on. Mistress and I will be taking a trip later this week. A possible relocation, about 2,000 miles from where we are now. Talk about a lifestyle change. Its a good change if it happens but just the possibility has caused us to be in even higher gear than normal.

I hate being away from the blog for such long periods but life just gets in the way at times.

If your wondering things with us are great, the possibility that lies ahead is even better and its hard not to be excited yet tempered in case it doesn't come to fruition. I know I am being vague but until it actually occurs I don't want to say too much more except describe the excitement that grows.

Hope everyone has been fine and I am going to try to catch up on reading some blogs to see how others have been. Thanks for being patient with me and look forward to filling you in more in the next couple weeks.

Life's trials tribulations and how it effects our lifestyle

Hi Everyone, well May was one of the busiest month's Mistress and I have had in our almost 6 years together, work is so busy that with the other things planned I really had no time to blog. June has come and things have slowed a bit, not slow but almost time to catch a breath.

This past week has found us with a pet that is in very bad shape and a really tough decision is coming soon, probably this week. A family member in the hospital and some other stressful things that just happen in life.

Add that all together and what normally looks like a well run Female led marriage doesn't really resemble that. Don't get me wrong she is still in charge but there is a much bigger focus on other things right now.

BUT that doesn't mean I get to skip out on my duties. If I have learned one thing better than anything else on this journey is when you are in this type of relationship, As the submissive I may not be in charge of the relationship but I am in charge of what I do and I need to make sure I do what needs to be done. I could see a submissive new to this lifestyle thinking that they might be able to skip on what they normally do when she isn't Mistress mode because there might no be the normal dominant personality showing thru from her side. But that is the time where its most important to realize that as the submissive now is the time to show her that you can still obey, still follow the rules without the supervision or the threat of punishment  that might normally exist.

Being submissive in a marriage doesn't mean waiting for her to decide that its time to get things done. Sometimes the submissive must take charge (in a way) of the situation and make sure that things are cared for and the support role you play is fulfilled.

Times like this she needs your support more than ever. Think of it the other way around, if you are in charge and are stressed with things, would you want to have to the support structure that you are used to pulled from under you? Or would you want the knowledge that above everything else that is going on, you can always rely on that support from your sub. Of course you would want the latter. And as the submissive you need to be just that, you can obey her and be her rock all at the same time. You can make decisions and obedient to her wishes when the time occurs.

Lastly don't mope. I know how us submissive's are, we want attention, and yes being put in the corner because you didn't do the dishes when she wanted them done is attention. You hear those subs that say, "I want to serve without getting anything in return." That couldn't be further from the truth for most of us. We all have our reasons for wanting to be obedient to our significant others. Now would be a good time to practice how you can serve and enjoy the satisfaction of making a difficult time easier for both of you.

Especially knowing that sooner or later this will pass and she will reflect on this time and see if you are the submissive she can count on or if this is some game that when the going gets tough we shelve our submissive nature in the closet until another time.