Other FLR's

Not exactly how to post this without insulting a certain group of people. But I will do my best.

Lately Mistress and I have been trying to find other FLR couples in our area....It isn't easy, maybe because we don't know where to look, maybe the other couples don't advertise or aren't looking for like minded people or maybe there just isn't that many period.

We attended a munch a few weeks ago and it was fun. It was something I posted about at the time. But I guess we aren't looking for play, more like friends that share our common lifestyle and interests in that regard. The munch had some fascinating people and we really enjoyed ourselves so I don't want to make it seem otherwise. But that is different than having dinner with another couple or group and just being able to be open about who we are and be with people who feel the same.

Also it seems that many vanilla people, especially the women who let their men rule, not because they are ok with it but because they feel that it's how it has to be, aren't really endearing to my Mistress. Again don't get me wrong it's not about ditching the people we know or her friends she has its about expanding and broadening the horizons.

I am wondering if maybe there aren't many of these types of relationships out there because it seems hard to find others. We are in the suburbs of Detroit and not even sure where to look.

I have a Fetlife account, soskk, is my name and I admit there is a lot to search thru but even there it doesn't seem like there are many straight up FLR's, at least on a local level.

So if anyone has any feedback for me about the numbers of FLR's out there, how to find others or any other comments I would love to hear them.

Daydreams

Last night I had a dream.

I am wearing a skimpy maids outfit with heels and the rest of the ensemble. The reason I am wearing it is because Mistress had some people over to do some work stuff and they needed a maid to attend to their needs.

At one point I am in the kitchen and she calls me, of course I stop what I am doing and come to her. Instead of giving me a command to get something she proceeds to tell the girls (yes they are all girls) that I have been working out and she shows them the results, getting them to feel my six pack. (What a laugh that is, I wouldn't say I am completely out of shape but far from a six pack) She even has me bend over and expose my ass so she can show my legs and tush. I am completely humiliated by the whole thing but quietly obey her.

When she is done she smacks my ass and says, "Ok, Bitch, back to work." And goes back to her group to talk about work.

The dream ends there. But the biggest thing isn't the dream, it's the day dreams caused by it. Driving to work I couldn't stop thinking about it, adding to it, changing it, reliving it. I got to work and every time I stop for a minute the day dream starts again.

I know most would think the dream is stupid and wonder why something like that would even excite me so I am not asking if anyone has had a dream like this. But what I wonder does anyone have an experience where they have a dream and it carries on into your daytime thoughts and even grows with the passing of time instead of fading like most dreams do?

Maybe I am on a island here, but I wish I was serving my Mistress on that island wearing that maids outfit and getting my ass slapped.

A little trouble

The weekend was busy and it ended quite nicely, however getting there wasn't always so good.

It started on a down note. When Mistress comes home from work each day the first thing she has grown accustomed to seeing when she opens the door to the house is me kneeling and waiting for her. Friday I didn't hear her car pull into the garage and when she opened the door I was sitting at the table playing on my iPad.

I want to say this act isn't just a ceremonial one, for her the fact that I care enough to put aside everything to be focused on her when she comes home makes her feel good, makes her feel loved and makes her feel respected. So breaking this rule isn't just a rule violation it's in her mind a show of disrespect. When she feels this way she doesn't get really angry, more like a bit sad. Which is worse for me, I would much have her be angry and put my ass over the bed and give it to me with the riding crop rather than she be sad. Her being sad is a failure on my part to keep her happy. I don't like that.

Anyways after the initial shock and my apology she lets it go and things were fine. She went up to our room to get ready to go out, we were going out to dinner to enjoy a friday night together. I asked her if she wanted a beer, to which she said 'yes'. I brought her the beer, along with one for me, and set them both down on the dresser and knelt before her. At that time I apologized again for not being at the door when she walked in. She wasn't mad but was explaining to me why she doesn't like that. While she was admonishing me I took a sip of my beer. This made her very unhappy. She said that when she is giving me a talking to for not showing proper respect and attention is not the time to change my focus from her to my beer.

I realized it after I did it but the deed was done.

I thought for sure I would be getting and ass beating but it didn't come. Instead she told me to write an essay about what I did, why I shouldn't do it and why what I did is disrespectful to her and she wanted it done by Sunday. At first I was happy, that was a much easier punishment than the riding crop.

However it turned out to be a good learning tool for me. It forced me to examine why she makes me do some of the things she does. Not just because she said so but WHY she decides I should do these things, how it effects her when I fail to follow her rules and why it's important to our FLR for me to follow her rules and decisions.

I also wrote that after really examining the offense she let me off really easy. Even if it was a good learning experience it still was much easier than being physically punished.

After reading the essay she was pretty happy with it and more importantly happy that it served it's purpose as a learning tool.

She added that she agreed it was a much lighter punishment than probably was deserved. And she also understood that I completely knew how important it was to follow her rules regarding respecting her.

She finished by saying that since there was no dispute about how important this was that any future infraction will be punished 3 times the normal amount. Then she added, "I guess we will see how well and for how long this lesson was learned."

While I am confident that I will be quite good about it in the near future I am a bit concerned that there will be a "Next time" and I know it won't be a fun result.

I spent a lot of time working around the house this weekend, she had an event to attend Saturday afternoon and the only instruction from her was that while she was gone I was on her time and was expected to do only things that would involved getting her house clean. Anything I may have felt like doing was not going to be allowed while she was gone. As it turned out my efforts made her quite happy and I was rewarded Sunday night. Which surprised me so soon after doing something to displease her.

So I guess the weekend was quite memorable for me.

Disappointments in people

I might get off the FLR train for a bit here. The last few days I have been tracking down someone who owes me money. Not huge amount but that isn't the point. He wanted a job done quickly and said he would pay quickly. He has literally promised me the payment on at least 14 occasions since December 19th. I am not exaggerating...14 times. Each time something comes up, somebody is sick, he is sick, somebody went out of town and he can't come see me, the bank is closed today. Yada yada yada. But yet he answers my calls most of the time and although he will disappear for a  day or so he always calls back with another excuse on why he couldn't make it happen.

Monday I was really frustrated, he said once and for all he would meet me Tuesday no excuses and guess what a full day of no answering the phone. Today he calls first thing in the morning and low and behold it was a kidney stone. Now here is the part that is tough. He may be telling the truth today. But after so many other times that he didn't show it's hard to gain sympathy and its even harder to believe him. Now I am told that tomorrow he will have it, rain, shine, snow or yes even kidney stone.

So that brings me to my point. As subs in an FLR we, I say we assuming that some of those reading are like me, we pride ourselves on acting exactly the opposite of the above mentioned behavior. We want to be reliable, we want to do what we say we are going to do and don't we all try not to disappoint?

I would love to hear comments from others about how experiences they have went thru relate to this.

I wonder if being someone who tries very hard to be the complete opposite of the person I am dealing with makes ones tolerance for that behavior even more difficult to deal with?

First Munch

Well we attended our first munch and had a great time.

People were really friendly and we felt quite welcome with the group.

I must say though we felt a bit out of place. Not necessarily in a bad way but just not the same as everyone else there.

First of all most of the people we met "play" and we really don't do that, we live our FLR, it's part of us. Mistress S is dominant and I am submissive, that is a constant.

We met people that change their orientation to have some fun and play. I guess being new to all that we never saw that as a possibility. I suppose as we experience more we learn but it just made us feel different.

On one level we fit in with a different lifestyle but way we live that lifestyle isn't the same.

Maybe in some ways that's what makes it good, maybe just being around others who are different than you in some ways but the same in others adds to the spice of life.

I would guess we need a bit more experience to understand fully what happens in this type of lifestyle. I used to think that being in an FLR made us kinky to some degree, the dynamic of our relationship and how obedience is expected and lack of it is punished we thought might lend itself to being kinky. The idea of her controlling my orgasms, her having the luxury of sexual release when she chooses while mine has to be approved and other things along that regard. I think we found out the other night that might not be the case.

One reason we wanted to meet others was that we wanted to find other couples that had a relationship like ours, where we could be at our typical FLR thinking and acting and be with those who felt the same.

Maybe the idea of finding a couple or friends where we could just visit, spend a saturday evening having dinner and just enjoying the FLR lifestyle isn't realistic but we will keep looking for that.

Maybe there are those in the group we met the other day similar in interests as well. It's certainly too early to make that judgement.

Well better get back to work, can't stay late today, after dinner last night I didn't do a great clean up job because I wanted to see if the Seahawks make it to the superbowl. Of course they did but now the kitchen will need some TLC when I get home. Mistress noticed it last night but let it go. That won't be the case if it isn't taken care of today.

First Munch

Mistress and I will be attending our first munch tomorrow.

I am a bit nervous to meet other like minded people but excited at the same time.

I can see by who is going that Mistress will be in the minority as a female domme but I am sure we will get along fine with everyone.

Not much else to report today except that.

A change in attitude

Ok maybe it isn't a real change but as we journey thru our life with Mistress S in charge and I as her sub things couldn't be better. However as we venture I am coming more and more to terms with the other aspects of her dominance in our relationship. Not talking about the "Nice dinner baby, do the dishes please I am going to relax on the couch." Comments I get on a daily basis, no those are the things that keep my submissive juices flowing.

I am talking about the subtle practical parts of our FLR. When the bill comes at the restaurant how I don't even look at it anymore. How if we want to go out and I suggest someplace how she might over ride it and say, "I would rather go here, is that ok?" and how I agree with it because I know that's what she wants. Those things that don't push the subby buttons but yet are still a result of her being in charge.

I am also coming to terms with the idea that she is the head of our household. Again I am not talking about the submissive fun stuff, I am referring to the every day stuff that is just part of a relationship.

The other day I brought something to her attention about paying for something we needed, she simply said, "Ok, I will take a look at that and figure out what to do."

There needed to be no further discussion. I suppose on her end the same applies, she no longer feels the need to tell me the sheets on the bed need to be changed, I just do it when I feel it's needed, and honestly, before I feel she will say something about it not being done. She routinely will say something like, "Do you know where my yellow running shorts are? I wore them about 4 days ago and I don't see them back in my drawer." In the beginning of our relationship that would have caused me a submissive moment where I felt her dominance and control. Now that dominance and control is just a normal part of everyday life. My answer for that was, "Sorry baby, I think it's in the dryer, I will go check." As it turned out it was and when I gave it to her she just smiled and thanked me.

That doesn't mean that the excitement in her dominance has left its just not apparent in those day to day things...unless something goes wrong.

Last week for instance there was an instance where something wasn't done when she thought it should be done. She questioned me about it and my answer wasn't quite to her liking. At that point she decided to make a point about it. That means we discuss the issue with me kneeling before her, when she wants me in that position I know when she is talking I am listening, fully, completely without any distraction. It defines our differences in the relationship and enforces her power over me. Sometimes talks like that are followed by a punishment, in this case just a stern warning.

I guess the point is we are both very comfortable about our relationship and how things are. She doesn't punish me as much as in the past, sometimes I am happy about that and sometimes I wish she would. The point is she doesn't like to punish me, she just wants things taken care of and she is the boss.

Holidays

Ahhh, the holidays are over. It was a very good one in our house and a very busy time, certainly not leaving enough time to tend to my blog.

Most of the time for the last couple of years since beginning our FLR I would lose some of my submissiveness during the holiday season. With the kids around, with visiting people, shopping and work issues just for some reason always was a time when the submissiveness would wain. Not this year, if anything it's better...or worse....no better is the proper word to use.

I have had many submissive dreams and Mistress as expected stealth service cooking, cleaning, doing dishes without making it obvious to those around. I think I have been successful at it.

Her daughter is home from college and one thing Mistress told me to do was to do the dishes each night. Usually her daughter will help with these but after the second day she was home when she got up to help I told her, "Don't worry I will get them." She immediately said, "Ok, cool."

Now it's been a nightly thing that she makes the attempt to help until I tell her not to worry and then she agrees and walks away. I think she is just being polite to attempt to help but hoping I will tell her not to bother. For me it would be ok just to have Mistress talk to her and say, "Let him handle the housework, its ok." But that isn't a conversation she wishes to have.

I really don't mind, I am actually proud to serve them.

I was concerned about how it would be difficult to act stealth if Mistress had me clean her room each day but that hasn't occurred, if it did I think it would have prompted the explanation and Mistress didn't want to go there, so I dodged that bullet. Actually again it wasn't a bullet, I would have happily done it so she could have further enjoyed her stay at home for the holidays.

I did make a couple of errors while she was here, (she leaves tomorow to go back to school) I used a word I am prohibited from using in Mistresses presence twice. She noticed and I am sure it won't go without some sort of punishment when her daughter leaves. Not really looking forward to that but I did break her rule and I have been told before, she doesn't make rules for her health they are for her servant to follow. She tends to be lenient when time passes before a punishment so my guess is it won't be that bad but the other thing you can't do with my Mistress is assume anything.

Happy New Year everyone, hope your 2014 will be the best ever.