The weekend was busy and it ended quite nicely, however getting there wasn't always so good.
It started on a down note. When Mistress comes home from work each day the first thing she has grown accustomed to seeing when she opens the door to the house is me kneeling and waiting for her. Friday I didn't hear her car pull into the garage and when she opened the door I was sitting at the table playing on my iPad.
I want to say this act isn't just a ceremonial one, for her the fact that I care enough to put aside everything to be focused on her when she comes home makes her feel good, makes her feel loved and makes her feel respected. So breaking this rule isn't just a rule violation it's in her mind a show of disrespect. When she feels this way she doesn't get really angry, more like a bit sad. Which is worse for me, I would much have her be angry and put my ass over the bed and give it to me with the riding crop rather than she be sad. Her being sad is a failure on my part to keep her happy. I don't like that.
Anyways after the initial shock and my apology she lets it go and things were fine. She went up to our room to get ready to go out, we were going out to dinner to enjoy a friday night together. I asked her if she wanted a beer, to which she said 'yes'. I brought her the beer, along with one for me, and set them both down on the dresser and knelt before her. At that time I apologized again for not being at the door when she walked in. She wasn't mad but was explaining to me why she doesn't like that. While she was admonishing me I took a sip of my beer. This made her very unhappy. She said that when she is giving me a talking to for not showing proper respect and attention is not the time to change my focus from her to my beer.
I realized it after I did it but the deed was done.
I thought for sure I would be getting and ass beating but it didn't come. Instead she told me to write an essay about what I did, why I shouldn't do it and why what I did is disrespectful to her and she wanted it done by Sunday. At first I was happy, that was a much easier punishment than the riding crop.
However it turned out to be a good learning tool for me. It forced me to examine why she makes me do some of the things she does. Not just because she said so but WHY she decides I should do these things, how it effects her when I fail to follow her rules and why it's important to our FLR for me to follow her rules and decisions.
I also wrote that after really examining the offense she let me off really easy. Even if it was a good learning experience it still was much easier than being physically punished.
After reading the essay she was pretty happy with it and more importantly happy that it served it's purpose as a learning tool.
She added that she agreed it was a much lighter punishment than probably was deserved. And she also understood that I completely knew how important it was to follow her rules regarding respecting her.
She finished by saying that since there was no dispute about how important this was that any future infraction will be punished 3 times the normal amount. Then she added, "I guess we will see how well and for how long this lesson was learned."
While I am confident that I will be quite good about it in the near future I am a bit concerned that there will be a "Next time" and I know it won't be a fun result.
I spent a lot of time working around the house this weekend, she had an event to attend Saturday afternoon and the only instruction from her was that while she was gone I was on her time and was expected to do only things that would involved getting her house clean. Anything I may have felt like doing was not going to be allowed while she was gone. As it turned out my efforts made her quite happy and I was rewarded Sunday night. Which surprised me so soon after doing something to displease her.
So I guess the weekend was quite memorable for me.
Hi SOS. As I wrote to you a week or so ago I too am in a FLR very much like yours. The main difference is that She and i don't live together so it is harder to maintain the structure all the time. We try very hard but it is a lot easier for her to simply slap me when in person than apart. Based on your readings i know you can relate.
ReplyDeleteOne of her rules is that she must see my schedule of activities for the upcoming week by 11:00 PM on Sunday night.. We were together all weekend and when She left on Sunday I did some job related work. It was very late last night (after midnight) and we were talking to say goodnight. I said something and she proceeded to say that you can go to bed after your punishment. Since i didn't send the schedule by the required time i had to get out of bed and spend 15 minutes in the corner and then write the schedule. Since i was doing it on my laptop it is not as easy as when i do it on a desktop. Needless to say i didn't shut the lights out until well after 1 AM.
I hated getting out of the warm bed and spend 15 minutes with my nose to the wall. Doing corner time is hard when together. Doing it apart is much worse.
I have a feeling if we lived closer to each other your Mistress and mine would be good friends. They are very much alike.
Good luck.
Sublites45
Corner time at midnight and getting out of bed to do it. Oh that kind of sucks but that's exactly the point of punishment.
DeleteIt does seem that our Mistresses would be friends if they knew each other.
As far as the schedule, I don't want to speak for you but our Mistresses tend to do many things that we may not exactly like but they are done to make us better. I suppose in addition to her wanting to know what you will be doing for the week it also probably keeps you more focused on what you should accomplish for the week.
Hello again. I was wondering if your Mistress ever responds to the blog? I have forwarded it to mine. Do you have an email that my Mistress can email yours? If not i understand.
Deletesublites45
Sublites45,
DeleteNo she doesn't respond to my blog, I am a member on a couple of sites as well and she does not choose to participate. She says "That's your place to explore." Sometimes I will show her something so she can read it if its of interest to her but not too often.
So I wouldn't give out her email, that would probably get me in trouble. If you wish you/she can send it to me and I will forward it to her but that is probably the best I could do.
SOS, may I suggest that you set an alarm on your cell phone to go off daily to remind you that she is on her way home or about to arrive. It might save you quite a bit of grief.
ReplyDeleteAs I read your post, I realized again how different every D/s relationship is. Every woman requires differently from her husband. Every woman finds certain things to be especially hurtful or disappointing. To me the bigger picture here is not the fear of punishment but rather how you can better anticipate her wants and not disappoint her. As you said, seeing her sad is much worse than seeing her angry. The sadness is her disappointment in you showing her the love she's come to expect.
My cell phone idea is suggested because I probably have a 100 alarms currently programmed in my cell to remind me from anything from her next doctor or dentist appointment to a reminder of the next time she will likely want to go to a class at a nearby gym and workout. It works great and keeps me on my toes to make her life less complicated.
I like the cell phone alarm idea. I will use that for other things but it won't work in this instance. Her hours vary from day to day. She is a department head and many days things arise that have to be handled immediately. So I know about when she will be home but the window can be about an hour.
DeleteI do have an early warning system installed to alert me when she arrives. Its called our dogs. They usually go nuts when the garage door opens but every once in a while if the dryer is going they are thrown off or if they happen to be outside they obviously won't realize she pulled in. The other day my watch dogs failed me. It's not a valid excuse I just need to pay attention a bit better.
To use a cliche "My ass depends on it."