Strange Week

Strange week it was.

Getting over being sick. Weather changing, met a new friend for lunch, first time meeting with a person who shares my submissive desires. We had a great time and will definitely do it again. Probably one day our Mistress' will meet. That could be trouble for both of us. LOL.

Besides that late last week Mistress got upset at me, not I forgot to make the bed or make sure her jeans were washed upset but really upset.

I was worried about something and completely lost my thought process. Didn't show her the proper respect I usually do and she didn't like it. She asked me straight up, "Is your submissiveness going to be conditional, or full time." The question really surprised me and the worst part was I was completely oblivious to the fact that the lack of respect actually happened. I was so sidetracked by the issue at hand.

It really caused some inward thought to happen, I was really upset at myself, more than she was at me.

It brought me to a place where I used to be in my past, where I was less aware of what was going on around me, kind of like tunnel vision. I have spent the last 5 years on leaving this part of me in the past and for it to pop up, even if it was for a few minutes really made me unhappy with myself. It reminded me of a selfish time in my life. A time that I look back as the dark portion of my life.

Without going into too much detail about the actual incident because it really wasn't the issue, the issue was more basic in regards to our relationship.

First I felt I let her down, she even let me know that what happened was a small thing and not a big deal but she wanted for us to be honest about what we are in regards to our D/s life together.

After a long evening of just talking about it I realize now that as much as I want this to be real, for my life as her submissive, her servant and my life of obeying her to be real, not a game, she wants the same thing. She didn't like what happened and felt disrespected and felt that as her sub I owed her more...She couldn't have been more correct and just getting questioned about it really opened me up to raw nerves of emotion that I haven't felt for a long time.

The healing from that really helped solidify everything about what we are even more. The weekend was spent doing the things we love to do, we golfed, we went out to the bar, watched some sports and had a great time and spent some alone time together as well but her dominance was in high gear and she did put it to good use. Lets just say each day I was quite tired after serving her for the day. It was truly almost a great weekend.

I say almost because Sunday afternoon found both of our teams lose in the elite 8 of the NCAA basketball tournament. We are a house divided and being from Michigan you can probably guess the two schools we root for. Her team is puke green and white while mine is a beautiful shade of maize and blue. Hahahaha. good thing she doesn't read my blog, my ass would look like Jay's from sub hub in phoenix. LOL.