A couple of years ago I was on a forum that I regularly participate in. A woman was pretty new to the site and she made some comments about subs and how they are always looking for something. That she couldn't understand why there were no real subs. She said she wanted someone to clean her house, and take care of things for her but she didn't want to have to give anything back, no sex, no punishments matter of fact she didn't even care to see him, just have him come in while she was gone, have him give himself to her and clean for her then go away until she needed it done again. She wondered why she couldn't find someone to give up things for her benefit without getting anything in return. She thought that's what a real sub is about, giving to others with getting nothing in return...WRONG.
I was actually infuriated reading this comment. I couldn't help thinking that she was just looking to use a free cleaning service and no wishes to be in a dominant relationship.
I think instead I should have realized that she didn't understand what subs want, what they need. Yes we talk about serving, giving up things for the benefit of our Mistress and we do, but we all want something out of it. Yes the dreaded what's in it for me.
Well that has so many different meanings that it might be hard for some to understand. This woman might have seen a man who served a woman, who gave up everything to clean her house and his reward was to be punished for his mistakes, made to stand in a corner and wait for her next order and possibly even deny himself gratification just because she said so. The woman might have mistakenly assumed that this meant that a true sub gives up everything to get nothing in return. However if you delve into the situation I just wrote about the sub is getting so much from his Mistress, things that the woman who I spoke about in the first paragraph doesn't understand.
He gets attention. Attention in my humble opinion is a big part of what we want as subs. Maybe I am wrong in saying all of us but I would bet, "The vast majority of us" would be accurate. I know there are always exceptions to the rule.
Take the man who is standing in the corner, being ignored staying motionless until the Mistress needs something. Is he getting attention. HELL YES. In so many ways the average person probably couldn't understand. He knows he is supposed to remain still, if he moves the Mistress might be ready to punish, she is watching, and if she isn't she has enough in the past to set the stage for him to not dare chance it. Maybe he is wearing something that reminds him of his place, maybe he is wearing nothing so she can enjoy the view, either way he is getting attention.
Others might mistake that guy who dresses as a maid and cleans the house while his Mistress is out having fun as a lack of attention but is that really the case? When she comes home is she going to check his work and punish for mistakes, is she going to give him accolades for his work or might she not thank him whatsoever and remind him that the work is expected, and thanking a slave isn't necessary. All three are forms of attention.
I have never felt so much attention in my life as the time when Mistress didn't enjoy the fact that her laundry wasn't done on time and made me miss part of a football game doing extra chores while she sat and watched. She didn't say a word to me about anything except giving me the next chore to do while I secretly wished with each finished task she would say, "Ok you can watch the game now." She relented at halftime but I felt so bathed in attention while I was by myself scrubbing her toilet that it may not be possible to explain to a non submissive person.
I also remember a time where she slept, many times actually, and I got up early to clean. She slept until 9am while I was up at 5:30 cleaning, by myself, alone, working without stop. When I woke her up at 9am with a rub down she smiled and told me to stand in the corner while she inspected the work, she decided that a couple of the things weren't done properly and needed to be redone while she went to the tanner, on return she used her riding crop on my ass to drive the point home. I was in heaven, the attention I felt out of that morning was beyond my hopes and dreams. Yes getting my ass beat is attention.
So to that woman those years ago that thought that a sub would love the idea of just coming into her home while she isn't home, cleaning and then leaving without ever seeing her, getting feedback on his work or any other type of contact. I say that I believe you are just not understanding what it is we want.
Every person craves to have a good life, I can't help that fact that my idea of a good time is putting on a dress and working while my Mistress flaunts her power and uses that power to keep me working and reward it with more service and even a punishment to show just who is in charge. But that is a far cry from working for someone who doesn't even care to acknowledge you or your work.
I know most dommes understand this, maybe all dommes but I think to a person who isn't submissive it isn't always clear on what a sub gets out of his life of service.....A lot more than anyone would think.
Us subs are in this life to enjoy it, just like dommes and vanilla people. We all want the most out of life, even if that means to get less in the eyes of others.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
"Don't force Mistress' hand."
I don't usually have too difficult of a time deciding on the title of my blog post. This one is the first time I was told what the title would be.
This all started Friday evening. As some of you who have read my blog know, when Mistress comes home from work I need to be on my knees ready to greet her when she enters. I was warned about this not so long ago when my early warning detection system, our dogs, didn't go crazy as usual when the garage door opened and I wasn't in position on time. Well Friday evening I got home from work and was really hungry, I knew we were going out to dinner but still wanted a quick snack to tie me over. I knew Mistress would have told me to hold off on the snack and wait for dinner but she wouldn't be home for about a half hour or 45 minutes at the earliest. The dogs always are intrigued when anyone decides to eat, so intrigued that they don't care about the faint sound of the garage door opening.
She came home early.
I hear the squeak of the screen door opening, knowing what is coming next. Knowing exactly what is happening I sprint around the corner and run to the spot I am supposed to be, as she opens the door she sees a sight of me sliding on my knees into position. Now if any of you have ever watched soccer and seen the guy (or girl) score a big goal and decide to run to the corner flag and slide on his (or her) knees with his( or her) arms up in the air in a joyous celebration then you have seen the sight my Mistress saw as she opened the door, me sliding on my knees to stop at the proper spot. The only thing missing was my arms up in the air in joyous celebration, oh and never have I seen a soccer player slide with salsa on their lips.
She looked at me, I looked up at her and at the same time we both busted out in laughter. It was actually quite funny. After the laughter ended she said, "You are so busted." Which I knew but it didn't take away from the fun of the moment.
She simply said, "Hungry?" I was confused, I had no idea how she knew I was eating as she wasn't in the kitchen yet to see the evidence. I looked at her in a puzzled look and she motioned to her lips to indicate that I had some evidence showing. Another bout of laughter came over us and it really set the stage for a nice evening. We went out to dinner and had a very enjoyable Friday night.
Fast forward to Saturday morning. we took a shower after a busy morning. She was doing the books for my business, I was doing some laundry and cleaning. We had a tee time for golf at the indoor simulator and she says, "Where is my sports bra? I don't see it in my drawer." I explained to her that it was in the dryer because I was confused if the basket it was in this morning was clean or dirty so as not to take a chance I washed it again. She counted back days to the last time she wore it and decided that it was longer than her 3 day laundry rule. I tried to reason that it was done in time but I had washed it a second time due to being unsure. She said, "If it isn't in the drawer by the time 3 days has passed then it isn't done in time. Whatever the reason doesn't matter." I did try to defend myself further saying, I knew you were going to need it so I got it done this morning, it's in the dryer now and I am sure its probably ready by now.
She simply said, "Go get it."
The dryer was still running so I was a bit concerned the that contents weren't completely dry yet. I opened the door and was alarmed that everything was still damp. I knew I couldn't bring it to her like that so, still naked from my shower had to make the long walk upstairs to explain to her that her bra wasn't ready. She took a heavy sigh and said, "Ok, you have forced my hand, lay over the bed." I really didn't want to but was powerless to do anything except lay down and accept her decision.
She took her riding crop and used it for a good long time. When she was done I was in severe pain. She looked at the results and remarked, "Wow, look how purple your ass is." I checked the results in the mirror, I was actually surprised, it was worse than usual to be sure. I didn't even want to get dressed right away so I could avoid putting pressure of pants and panties on the sore ass. Of course she took the opportunity to smack my ass every time I walked by, which for the record stung extremely bad, this must have not hurt her so much because she laughed every time I winced.
Later that day when she asked me if my ass still hurt and I acknowledged that it did. She said, "Good, now I know you are going to blog about this, the title of you blog will be "Don't force the Mistress' Hand."
She said she didn't really feel like punishing me like that but felt I left her with no choice.
She did say that the slate is now wiped clean and I have been pretty well behaved since, getting the riding crop on the already sore ass isn't a fun proposition.
This all started Friday evening. As some of you who have read my blog know, when Mistress comes home from work I need to be on my knees ready to greet her when she enters. I was warned about this not so long ago when my early warning detection system, our dogs, didn't go crazy as usual when the garage door opened and I wasn't in position on time. Well Friday evening I got home from work and was really hungry, I knew we were going out to dinner but still wanted a quick snack to tie me over. I knew Mistress would have told me to hold off on the snack and wait for dinner but she wouldn't be home for about a half hour or 45 minutes at the earliest. The dogs always are intrigued when anyone decides to eat, so intrigued that they don't care about the faint sound of the garage door opening.
She came home early.
I hear the squeak of the screen door opening, knowing what is coming next. Knowing exactly what is happening I sprint around the corner and run to the spot I am supposed to be, as she opens the door she sees a sight of me sliding on my knees into position. Now if any of you have ever watched soccer and seen the guy (or girl) score a big goal and decide to run to the corner flag and slide on his (or her) knees with his( or her) arms up in the air in a joyous celebration then you have seen the sight my Mistress saw as she opened the door, me sliding on my knees to stop at the proper spot. The only thing missing was my arms up in the air in joyous celebration, oh and never have I seen a soccer player slide with salsa on their lips.
She looked at me, I looked up at her and at the same time we both busted out in laughter. It was actually quite funny. After the laughter ended she said, "You are so busted." Which I knew but it didn't take away from the fun of the moment.
She simply said, "Hungry?" I was confused, I had no idea how she knew I was eating as she wasn't in the kitchen yet to see the evidence. I looked at her in a puzzled look and she motioned to her lips to indicate that I had some evidence showing. Another bout of laughter came over us and it really set the stage for a nice evening. We went out to dinner and had a very enjoyable Friday night.
Fast forward to Saturday morning. we took a shower after a busy morning. She was doing the books for my business, I was doing some laundry and cleaning. We had a tee time for golf at the indoor simulator and she says, "Where is my sports bra? I don't see it in my drawer." I explained to her that it was in the dryer because I was confused if the basket it was in this morning was clean or dirty so as not to take a chance I washed it again. She counted back days to the last time she wore it and decided that it was longer than her 3 day laundry rule. I tried to reason that it was done in time but I had washed it a second time due to being unsure. She said, "If it isn't in the drawer by the time 3 days has passed then it isn't done in time. Whatever the reason doesn't matter." I did try to defend myself further saying, I knew you were going to need it so I got it done this morning, it's in the dryer now and I am sure its probably ready by now.
She simply said, "Go get it."
The dryer was still running so I was a bit concerned the that contents weren't completely dry yet. I opened the door and was alarmed that everything was still damp. I knew I couldn't bring it to her like that so, still naked from my shower had to make the long walk upstairs to explain to her that her bra wasn't ready. She took a heavy sigh and said, "Ok, you have forced my hand, lay over the bed." I really didn't want to but was powerless to do anything except lay down and accept her decision.
She took her riding crop and used it for a good long time. When she was done I was in severe pain. She looked at the results and remarked, "Wow, look how purple your ass is." I checked the results in the mirror, I was actually surprised, it was worse than usual to be sure. I didn't even want to get dressed right away so I could avoid putting pressure of pants and panties on the sore ass. Of course she took the opportunity to smack my ass every time I walked by, which for the record stung extremely bad, this must have not hurt her so much because she laughed every time I winced.
Later that day when she asked me if my ass still hurt and I acknowledged that it did. She said, "Good, now I know you are going to blog about this, the title of you blog will be "Don't force the Mistress' Hand."
She said she didn't really feel like punishing me like that but felt I left her with no choice.
She did say that the slate is now wiped clean and I have been pretty well behaved since, getting the riding crop on the already sore ass isn't a fun proposition.
Friday, February 7, 2014
The Kitchen needs to be cleaned????
Wednesday night I made some home made pizza then after we were done eating Mistress sent me to the store.
I went immediately and when I returned, relaxed watching TV and after a few hours we went to bed. Completely forgot to finish cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.
When I woke up the next morning I noticed it was messy and put things in the sink to at least try to make it look presentable. I didn't have time to clean it properly but didn't want it a complete wreck. I hoped Mistress wouldn't notice it.
I was at work, Mistress leaves after I do each morning, when I received this text.
"I want this kitchen cleaned as soon as you get home."
I knew that wasn't a good sign.
I just responded, "Yes Mistress." Nothing else really would have helped the situation.
We didn't get home until almost 9:30 at night due to a event we attended after work. So I turned on the TV in the kitchen so I could watch the hockey game and without her reminding me I did what I was supposed to do.
When I was done, and I did a good job, I knelt before her and apologized for not cleaning it before.
She thanked me for doing it, although reminding me again that it needs to be done immediately not a day later then threw out to me, "I see that you thought it was a good idea to watch TV while you were cleaning my kitchen. I don't remember giving you permission to watch TV while you were working."
Oh, oh, this wasn't going well. I made no lame excuse instead I just bowed my head and said, "I am sorry Mistress, I will make sure that I get permission before turning the TV on next time."
She just said, "Um hmm" and dismissed me. I was worried going to bed, riding crop hanging on the closet door to greet me when I entered the bedroom, (it's always there as a reminder but last night it looked much more viscous than normal).
We went to bed.....Nothing happened, No punishment, no writing assignment, no corner time. Nothing.
While we were in bed she said to me, "I am not punishing you for this, but if you can't do the job I need you to do, let me know so I can figure out another way to get that clean."
Well that was the worst possible punishment she could have come up with, I told her I will handle it, I will show her that I can take care of things without her reminders. She just said, "Ok we will see."
Lesson learned.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Enough Beeeattch.
Today I would like to discuss the use of a bad 4 letter word.....SNOW.
This is completely ridiculous. Sometimes when people visit our town I take them to the water and show them them that right across the river is Canada. They think its pretty cool to be able to go to another country for dinner or to the casino. They will ask if you need a passport to go over there. I answer yes, nowadays you do...Well guess what doesn't need a passport to come over...The freakin Canadian Arctic air mass that brings us sub zero temperatures and snow, more snow and after that how about some F'in snow.
Did I mention the word ridiculous yet, I am not lying when I say there is at least 30" of snow covering my lawn. I have to shovel the backyard just so our Dachsund can pee without having to tunnel his way to his favorite spot.
Its so cold here I am afraid Mistress' balls will freeze off, if they weren't attached to me I might not be that concerned, but again did I mention ridiculous????
One of the guys who reads this blog is sub hub in phx. With my extreme intelligence (I was voted one of the smartest 3 people in our house, although its only Mistress, myself, 3 dogs and a cat that live there.) Either way I am going to use my intelligence to say that phx stands for Phoenix, as in Arizona. Well dude would it kill you to push some of that warm weather our way, maybe for at least for a week so some of this shit melts???
The snow is so high that my plow on my tractor only pushes it to the side and then falls back down only to be finally cleared by some idiot and a shovel... That idiot is me by the way. I know big shocker there.
Anyways, so who is to blame. Well I figured it out, its mother nature and after thinking about it I sent that bitch a letter, here is a copy of it.
Dear Mother Nature,
Serious, WTF is that all about, take your snow and go dump it on someplace that needs it....A place called "Not Here". We have received at least triple the snow as last year and you know what, your joke isn't that funny anymore. So here is what we are going to do. You are going to turn the heat up to 80 for a few days to melt everything, then you are going to let off on the snow making machine and point it towards some ski slopes like you should be doing in the first place. Now if you think, that this submissive guy can't tell you what to do, well that's prerogative but here's the deal, I will, and please don't force me to do this, but I will take Mistress' riding crop and find your ass and beat that thing until you are a crying mess. Now I know you are probably thinking, "You don't know where I live." Well wrong answer. I downloaded that old Christmas tv show. You know the one with Heat Mizer and Cold Mizer, (your kids) and in the movie they got summoned to your house, so guess what I did a google search and found it, so I do know where your smug ass lives.
Sincerely
SOS
That was a couple of weeks ago.
Well I was hoping it would do the trick until 3 days ago and this came in the mail.
Dear Submissive Turd,
Bring it, don't sing it.
Oh and call me Mistress or you will get 10" of snow dumped on your ass on the 4th of July this year.
Signed
Mistress Nature
The next day we got about 9 more inches of snow.
Well I was tempted to send her another note telling her to take a "Flying F*&K on a rolling donut" but I held back, calmer side of me took over, I contemplated and sent this back to her.
Dear Mistress Nature,
I want to humbly apologize for my words in the earlier letter, I completely......Oh shit I can't do this.
Listen you vengeful beeatch, you can't dump 10" of snow on us in July, it's against the laws of nature. So again turn the heat up and snow off and I won't be forced to come to your little white picket fenced house and open up a can of whoop ass on you. By the way I noticed in the TV show your house had pleasant whether in the middle of winter. Your poor kid cold mizer was beginning to melt.
So heed this warning, something is going to warm up this week, either the weather or you soon to be red ass.
Cordially
SOS
Well I am sure that will do the trick, I am off to the store to buy some sun tan lotion, the bottle I have at home is completely frozen.
This is completely ridiculous. Sometimes when people visit our town I take them to the water and show them them that right across the river is Canada. They think its pretty cool to be able to go to another country for dinner or to the casino. They will ask if you need a passport to go over there. I answer yes, nowadays you do...Well guess what doesn't need a passport to come over...The freakin Canadian Arctic air mass that brings us sub zero temperatures and snow, more snow and after that how about some F'in snow.
Did I mention the word ridiculous yet, I am not lying when I say there is at least 30" of snow covering my lawn. I have to shovel the backyard just so our Dachsund can pee without having to tunnel his way to his favorite spot.
Its so cold here I am afraid Mistress' balls will freeze off, if they weren't attached to me I might not be that concerned, but again did I mention ridiculous????
One of the guys who reads this blog is sub hub in phx. With my extreme intelligence (I was voted one of the smartest 3 people in our house, although its only Mistress, myself, 3 dogs and a cat that live there.) Either way I am going to use my intelligence to say that phx stands for Phoenix, as in Arizona. Well dude would it kill you to push some of that warm weather our way, maybe for at least for a week so some of this shit melts???
The snow is so high that my plow on my tractor only pushes it to the side and then falls back down only to be finally cleared by some idiot and a shovel... That idiot is me by the way. I know big shocker there.
Anyways, so who is to blame. Well I figured it out, its mother nature and after thinking about it I sent that bitch a letter, here is a copy of it.
Dear Mother Nature,
Serious, WTF is that all about, take your snow and go dump it on someplace that needs it....A place called "Not Here". We have received at least triple the snow as last year and you know what, your joke isn't that funny anymore. So here is what we are going to do. You are going to turn the heat up to 80 for a few days to melt everything, then you are going to let off on the snow making machine and point it towards some ski slopes like you should be doing in the first place. Now if you think, that this submissive guy can't tell you what to do, well that's prerogative but here's the deal, I will, and please don't force me to do this, but I will take Mistress' riding crop and find your ass and beat that thing until you are a crying mess. Now I know you are probably thinking, "You don't know where I live." Well wrong answer. I downloaded that old Christmas tv show. You know the one with Heat Mizer and Cold Mizer, (your kids) and in the movie they got summoned to your house, so guess what I did a google search and found it, so I do know where your smug ass lives.
Sincerely
SOS
That was a couple of weeks ago.
Well I was hoping it would do the trick until 3 days ago and this came in the mail.
Dear Submissive Turd,
Bring it, don't sing it.
Oh and call me Mistress or you will get 10" of snow dumped on your ass on the 4th of July this year.
Signed
Mistress Nature
The next day we got about 9 more inches of snow.
Well I was tempted to send her another note telling her to take a "Flying F*&K on a rolling donut" but I held back, calmer side of me took over, I contemplated and sent this back to her.
Dear Mistress Nature,
I want to humbly apologize for my words in the earlier letter, I completely......Oh shit I can't do this.
Listen you vengeful beeatch, you can't dump 10" of snow on us in July, it's against the laws of nature. So again turn the heat up and snow off and I won't be forced to come to your little white picket fenced house and open up a can of whoop ass on you. By the way I noticed in the TV show your house had pleasant whether in the middle of winter. Your poor kid cold mizer was beginning to melt.
So heed this warning, something is going to warm up this week, either the weather or you soon to be red ass.
Cordially
SOS
Well I am sure that will do the trick, I am off to the store to buy some sun tan lotion, the bottle I have at home is completely frozen.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
What does it mean to me to be 24/7?
I guess we all have our definition of what 24/7 means in relationship to a femdom life style.
I am new to this but really starting to understand how different relationships can be in the femdom community. I also see how they have one common denominator, they make the couple happy.
This morning I read a post from Ms. Sandra on the Femdom 101 blog. I have to tell you I felt a tinge of jealousy for her slave. What a wonderful description of what her slave goes thru to follow her rules and obey her. For some it might be too intense for others not enough.
I know for my case Mistress and my relationship isn't as strict as theirs. Yeah I would like it stricter at times and sometimes I wouldn't.
But the thought occurred to me, what makes it 24/7? For us it simply means that every minute of every day, she owns me, that doesn't mean that it may actually always look like she owns me, there are many nights where we sit next to each other on the couch playing on our iPads or just watching TV. To the outside world these moments would look nothing like a 24/7 D/s relationship. But at other times you couldn't mistake it for anything else. In those less than dominating moments there is always a chance that she decides that I will need to do something for her, whether it be get her something, clean something or just a reminder, "I need this ready for tomorrow to wear to work, if it isn't ready I suggest you go take care of it."
To us that means 24/7. Of course the fact that no moment in my life goes by where I am allowed to be out of panties is another reminder but it goes much deeper and even sometimes more subtle than that.
I am never allowed to use the word F**r rhymes with hair. Even if we are in public I need to think of another word, it is her way of reaffirming that no matter where we are, who we are with our relationship is not based on equality.
She never does housework or dishes, she cooks sometimes but will never clean up. No matter who is around its not her job.
However there are so many moments spent doing things where no one could possibly tell how we are that I sometimes question whether we are 24/7. And when I read blogs of others I sometimes think that our femdom relationship might be more towards the vanilla direction than many others. We are also best friends, we really do everything together. Golf, play pool, shop, go out, or just hang around. I joke with her, even sometimes pick on her but it has to be done with the knowledge that she may say, "Oh really, going to be feisty now?" I know that is the time to tone it down a bit.
In someways there is a dynamic that is hard to explain that I am the slave of my best friend. How can you be both. But it works for us and probably others as well. Its an obedience that is mixed with friendship.
I have always had this fantasy of her having her friends over and me having to serve them while they enjoyed themselves. But that isn't my Mistress, I am included in all plans, I get to go everywhere, she just wants me to always realize that no matter where in the world we are, I belong to her and she is the boss.
I can spend money, I have credit cards and I don't have to get permission to buy things, unless they are big. If she wants to buy something big she will run it by me. I guess the part that is different is that if I tell her I think her spending choice is not a good idea she will listen to reason then make the final decision. Same with my purchase, she will listen them make the final call. Either way the final decision is hers, small things she doesn't care, she doesn't want to micromanage every aspect of things.
But the way it works doesn't seem all intense 24/7.
I am wondering if it would to the oustide world? But because I am used to how we are that it doesn't seem as dominating as it would to someone who had no experience in these matters.
I am certainly not complaining only thinking about how others have it different. Not better, not worse but different. Some people would love to have certain aspects of what I have and there are certain aspects of other relationships that I would like to have added to mine.
That's one reason why Mistress is in charge, she has a belief about our FLR and it can be summed up by saying, 'not all you want and not all the time'. It always leaves me wanting a bit more and hoping she will increase her dominance at times. Of course that is part of her plan to have it her way. She knows that I would love to go further in my submission but its her call.
So in my 24/7 sometimes not getting what I want is exactly her method to make sure I know she is in charge.
I am saying again for the 3rd time I am not complaining or unhappy with what I have, quite the opposite I wouldn't change places with anyone in the world. But starting to blog and more importantly read other blogs really has woken (probably not even a word) me up to the ways femdom relationships can differ.
I know there are people out there who would kill for a 24/7 relationship and are probably going to tell me to screw off, you got something I have dreamed of. To those I am not trying to rub anything in, I am more in a phase of my life that I am being observant to what goes on in this type of relationship and how so many things can be different but yet be just as awesome as what I have.
Being the long winded idiot I am I could go on for hours about this but instead I will just say, have a great day everyone and be thankful for what you have, enjoy it, live it and if you are still looking for it be patient, I didn't find mine until I stopped looking for it.
I am new to this but really starting to understand how different relationships can be in the femdom community. I also see how they have one common denominator, they make the couple happy.
This morning I read a post from Ms. Sandra on the Femdom 101 blog. I have to tell you I felt a tinge of jealousy for her slave. What a wonderful description of what her slave goes thru to follow her rules and obey her. For some it might be too intense for others not enough.
I know for my case Mistress and my relationship isn't as strict as theirs. Yeah I would like it stricter at times and sometimes I wouldn't.
But the thought occurred to me, what makes it 24/7? For us it simply means that every minute of every day, she owns me, that doesn't mean that it may actually always look like she owns me, there are many nights where we sit next to each other on the couch playing on our iPads or just watching TV. To the outside world these moments would look nothing like a 24/7 D/s relationship. But at other times you couldn't mistake it for anything else. In those less than dominating moments there is always a chance that she decides that I will need to do something for her, whether it be get her something, clean something or just a reminder, "I need this ready for tomorrow to wear to work, if it isn't ready I suggest you go take care of it."
To us that means 24/7. Of course the fact that no moment in my life goes by where I am allowed to be out of panties is another reminder but it goes much deeper and even sometimes more subtle than that.
I am never allowed to use the word F**r rhymes with hair. Even if we are in public I need to think of another word, it is her way of reaffirming that no matter where we are, who we are with our relationship is not based on equality.
She never does housework or dishes, she cooks sometimes but will never clean up. No matter who is around its not her job.
However there are so many moments spent doing things where no one could possibly tell how we are that I sometimes question whether we are 24/7. And when I read blogs of others I sometimes think that our femdom relationship might be more towards the vanilla direction than many others. We are also best friends, we really do everything together. Golf, play pool, shop, go out, or just hang around. I joke with her, even sometimes pick on her but it has to be done with the knowledge that she may say, "Oh really, going to be feisty now?" I know that is the time to tone it down a bit.
In someways there is a dynamic that is hard to explain that I am the slave of my best friend. How can you be both. But it works for us and probably others as well. Its an obedience that is mixed with friendship.
I have always had this fantasy of her having her friends over and me having to serve them while they enjoyed themselves. But that isn't my Mistress, I am included in all plans, I get to go everywhere, she just wants me to always realize that no matter where in the world we are, I belong to her and she is the boss.
I can spend money, I have credit cards and I don't have to get permission to buy things, unless they are big. If she wants to buy something big she will run it by me. I guess the part that is different is that if I tell her I think her spending choice is not a good idea she will listen to reason then make the final decision. Same with my purchase, she will listen them make the final call. Either way the final decision is hers, small things she doesn't care, she doesn't want to micromanage every aspect of things.
But the way it works doesn't seem all intense 24/7.
I am wondering if it would to the oustide world? But because I am used to how we are that it doesn't seem as dominating as it would to someone who had no experience in these matters.
I am certainly not complaining only thinking about how others have it different. Not better, not worse but different. Some people would love to have certain aspects of what I have and there are certain aspects of other relationships that I would like to have added to mine.
That's one reason why Mistress is in charge, she has a belief about our FLR and it can be summed up by saying, 'not all you want and not all the time'. It always leaves me wanting a bit more and hoping she will increase her dominance at times. Of course that is part of her plan to have it her way. She knows that I would love to go further in my submission but its her call.
So in my 24/7 sometimes not getting what I want is exactly her method to make sure I know she is in charge.
I am saying again for the 3rd time I am not complaining or unhappy with what I have, quite the opposite I wouldn't change places with anyone in the world. But starting to blog and more importantly read other blogs really has woken (probably not even a word) me up to the ways femdom relationships can differ.
I know there are people out there who would kill for a 24/7 relationship and are probably going to tell me to screw off, you got something I have dreamed of. To those I am not trying to rub anything in, I am more in a phase of my life that I am being observant to what goes on in this type of relationship and how so many things can be different but yet be just as awesome as what I have.
Being the long winded idiot I am I could go on for hours about this but instead I will just say, have a great day everyone and be thankful for what you have, enjoy it, live it and if you are still looking for it be patient, I didn't find mine until I stopped looking for it.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
An appreciation for the dominant women out there.
My head is bursting right now, I have so much to say about this subject and I pray I am able to use the words and organization to have this post make sense and be true.
First I want to say this isn't meant to be an ass kiss session for dominant women. Its a two fold proposition.
I guess the best way to start is to recognize that dominant woman in a WLM or FLR or whatever you call it are special. Not because they rule the roost, not because they tell us what to do which gets us subby guys excited. Its much more than that. It takes a girl that sees her relationship, assesses it and runs it to make everyone happy. It is a very unselfish mindset if you ask me. One would see Mistress S sit on the couch playing on her iPad and watching TV while I am cleaning the bathroom and think, wow she has it easy. Well in that regard maybe but all one has to do is consider what it takes to be dominant and yet make your partner happy. It takes foresight and a lot of love to make a submissive happy, maybe even more than the other way around. It isn't a natural thing for Mistress S to decide I haven't done as she wished, put her foot down and disappoint me by telling me that I am going to spend the first half of a football game polishing her shoes. She love me and wants me happy but also knows that with leading comes responsibility, responsibility to keep healthy the life we have set up....together. To keep healthy her partner and to do that requires work and energy on her part.
She may not do laundry but she always seems to be busy. Now that doesn't mean she wants to switch places because I have it easy. Quite the opposite our relationship is great from the standpoint that the things she does, take care of the bills, budget and things of that nature I have no interest in. And she has no interest in cleaning the house. So we will never switch roles but even while I am kneeling before her, staring at the ground to wait for a commercial for her to address me and ask if there is any other work I can do for her, I do realize her job isn't easy either.
I have known that I was submissive since I was able to remember and I spent 19 years married to a woman who I couldn't follow, I loved her but she was full of herself, if I would have submitted to her she would have thought less of me, like she was a better person than she was and it was her greatness that caused me to be submissive to her, not my freedom and happiness and love to cause my submissiveness. With that in mind I couldn't in good conscience follow my submissive desires. When I found Mistress S, who wasn't a mistress at all at the time we met it was like the world changed from black and white to color. She was a more caring, humble and thoughtful person than my first wife ever could be, it made it easy for me to give her control. It also showed me that it's not any woman who can run a healthy and happy dominant relationship
So while we all probably realize that in an FLR the woman's job isn't as easy as sitting around and enjoying life while their partner obeys them. I would like to examine the other part of this.
For us subs many of us think that serving our girl makes her happy. Well it does...partially but she needs more from us.
Today on my way to work I was thinking about a couple of things that have happened in the past few days. First was a private message from a guy who I was going back and forth with. He said that I was lucky to have someone like I do and he hoped he would one day find someone like that. Well my response is, I hope you do, don't ever give up looking. But when that time comes and you find her, make sure you do everything you can to keep her happy.
I don't mean cleaning her bathroom, kneeling at the appropriate time etc. That is showing your respect but its not the same as showing her love.
Ok, Back to my drive to work. So I am almost to work and going past the high school, it happens to be the time where the students are arriving. So there is a multitude of cars, I am going down the main street and a crossing guard stops me to let a kid cross, when the kid is done crossing I wait further to let a woman from the side street to turn in front of me and proceed on the main street. She waves acknowledging that she appreciated my gesture, drives about 80 feet and turns left into the school, however she doesn't pull into the middle left turn lane enough to allow traffic to pass, we are all stuck for almost 2 minutes until someone let her turn just because she didn't have the common decency to pull over enough and be courteous to everyone else. She was appreciative that I let her in, she acknowledged the act but couldn't think enough to be courteous to everyone else. All I could think of was, "She got what she needed, no reason to worry about anyone else now." I am positive she didn't actively thing that, she probably just didn't consider the rest of us.
I see how as a sub it can be that way. Maybe we think I did this for her, I did that for her, I did her laundry, I must have made her happy and been considerate. But that is just waving and acknowledging being let into the road.
But what about the rest. What about getting into that middle lane to show you care for the others. What about showing her love. What about a note under her pillow once every week or so just to say you love her. She may be the boss and she may put you over her knee to teach a lesson but she still needs and wants a little extra to show how much you love her. Never get confused between the duty of your service and her need for special attention or small random acts of love.
I know, I know she can have an orgasm when she wishes, I cant, I must wait for her approval, she can have me do what she wants and I obey, with that knowledge what can I give to the girl who can have you do what she wishes, if she wanted me to do it she would tell me right???
If Mistress told me to go buy her a $50 bouquet of roses today and make sure they were on the table when she got home from work I would do it. But her face would light up 10 times as much is if I bought a $5 wild flower bouquet at Kroger while I was shopping and surprised her with it.
Every girl is different so different acts will produce different results. But I can guarantee you that there something small each of us can do on a regular basis....but not regular enough that it becomes routine to show love. I have a template on my computer that I can make little folded cards. She doesn't care if they are bought and the message that the card has imprinted on it, she cares more about the words I hand write on the inside.
I may sound as if I am preaching a bit but I have spent a large part of my life (19) years with a woman who I loved but wasn't truly happy with. Now that I found what I am looking for I can't take the chance of ever taking what I have for granted. For those of you who are reading this and are still looking for that person, man or woman, when you find that person and you are sure its everything you wanted in life, don't lose it by being complacent.
Life is way to short to spend it not getting the best from the one you love.
First I want to say this isn't meant to be an ass kiss session for dominant women. Its a two fold proposition.
I guess the best way to start is to recognize that dominant woman in a WLM or FLR or whatever you call it are special. Not because they rule the roost, not because they tell us what to do which gets us subby guys excited. Its much more than that. It takes a girl that sees her relationship, assesses it and runs it to make everyone happy. It is a very unselfish mindset if you ask me. One would see Mistress S sit on the couch playing on her iPad and watching TV while I am cleaning the bathroom and think, wow she has it easy. Well in that regard maybe but all one has to do is consider what it takes to be dominant and yet make your partner happy. It takes foresight and a lot of love to make a submissive happy, maybe even more than the other way around. It isn't a natural thing for Mistress S to decide I haven't done as she wished, put her foot down and disappoint me by telling me that I am going to spend the first half of a football game polishing her shoes. She love me and wants me happy but also knows that with leading comes responsibility, responsibility to keep healthy the life we have set up....together. To keep healthy her partner and to do that requires work and energy on her part.
She may not do laundry but she always seems to be busy. Now that doesn't mean she wants to switch places because I have it easy. Quite the opposite our relationship is great from the standpoint that the things she does, take care of the bills, budget and things of that nature I have no interest in. And she has no interest in cleaning the house. So we will never switch roles but even while I am kneeling before her, staring at the ground to wait for a commercial for her to address me and ask if there is any other work I can do for her, I do realize her job isn't easy either.
I have known that I was submissive since I was able to remember and I spent 19 years married to a woman who I couldn't follow, I loved her but she was full of herself, if I would have submitted to her she would have thought less of me, like she was a better person than she was and it was her greatness that caused me to be submissive to her, not my freedom and happiness and love to cause my submissiveness. With that in mind I couldn't in good conscience follow my submissive desires. When I found Mistress S, who wasn't a mistress at all at the time we met it was like the world changed from black and white to color. She was a more caring, humble and thoughtful person than my first wife ever could be, it made it easy for me to give her control. It also showed me that it's not any woman who can run a healthy and happy dominant relationship
So while we all probably realize that in an FLR the woman's job isn't as easy as sitting around and enjoying life while their partner obeys them. I would like to examine the other part of this.
For us subs many of us think that serving our girl makes her happy. Well it does...partially but she needs more from us.
Today on my way to work I was thinking about a couple of things that have happened in the past few days. First was a private message from a guy who I was going back and forth with. He said that I was lucky to have someone like I do and he hoped he would one day find someone like that. Well my response is, I hope you do, don't ever give up looking. But when that time comes and you find her, make sure you do everything you can to keep her happy.
I don't mean cleaning her bathroom, kneeling at the appropriate time etc. That is showing your respect but its not the same as showing her love.
Ok, Back to my drive to work. So I am almost to work and going past the high school, it happens to be the time where the students are arriving. So there is a multitude of cars, I am going down the main street and a crossing guard stops me to let a kid cross, when the kid is done crossing I wait further to let a woman from the side street to turn in front of me and proceed on the main street. She waves acknowledging that she appreciated my gesture, drives about 80 feet and turns left into the school, however she doesn't pull into the middle left turn lane enough to allow traffic to pass, we are all stuck for almost 2 minutes until someone let her turn just because she didn't have the common decency to pull over enough and be courteous to everyone else. She was appreciative that I let her in, she acknowledged the act but couldn't think enough to be courteous to everyone else. All I could think of was, "She got what she needed, no reason to worry about anyone else now." I am positive she didn't actively thing that, she probably just didn't consider the rest of us.
I see how as a sub it can be that way. Maybe we think I did this for her, I did that for her, I did her laundry, I must have made her happy and been considerate. But that is just waving and acknowledging being let into the road.
But what about the rest. What about getting into that middle lane to show you care for the others. What about showing her love. What about a note under her pillow once every week or so just to say you love her. She may be the boss and she may put you over her knee to teach a lesson but she still needs and wants a little extra to show how much you love her. Never get confused between the duty of your service and her need for special attention or small random acts of love.
I know, I know she can have an orgasm when she wishes, I cant, I must wait for her approval, she can have me do what she wants and I obey, with that knowledge what can I give to the girl who can have you do what she wishes, if she wanted me to do it she would tell me right???
If Mistress told me to go buy her a $50 bouquet of roses today and make sure they were on the table when she got home from work I would do it. But her face would light up 10 times as much is if I bought a $5 wild flower bouquet at Kroger while I was shopping and surprised her with it.
Every girl is different so different acts will produce different results. But I can guarantee you that there something small each of us can do on a regular basis....but not regular enough that it becomes routine to show love. I have a template on my computer that I can make little folded cards. She doesn't care if they are bought and the message that the card has imprinted on it, she cares more about the words I hand write on the inside.
I may sound as if I am preaching a bit but I have spent a large part of my life (19) years with a woman who I loved but wasn't truly happy with. Now that I found what I am looking for I can't take the chance of ever taking what I have for granted. For those of you who are reading this and are still looking for that person, man or woman, when you find that person and you are sure its everything you wanted in life, don't lose it by being complacent.
Life is way to short to spend it not getting the best from the one you love.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Weekend update, clean house. clean house, clean house.
Mistress hasn't been too happy with the level of our house cleanliness lately. Same goes for laundry.
Her rule is simple, when she takes off clothing she drops it on the floor, 3 days from that moment is the deadline for it to be back in her drawer or hanging up and ready to wear again. This excludes ironed items as she allows me to have them accumulate until a decent pile is ready then I can iron it at one time.
Now she doesn't check on this with regularity but she will notice if I am folding laundry and things in the basket seem like its been a while since she wore them. Her bras are hung in the laundry room to dry, she doesn't like them going in the dryer, and if she see's 4 hanging then it makes it easy to see so the bras usually are my undoing.
She realizes that sometimes life gets in the way and she realizes that work responsibilities can sometimes make it difficult. But she also realizes that she makes rules for a reason and the there is a difference between being difficult to accomplish and impossible.
With that all being in mind yesterday started with us doing some stuff in the morning we enjoy, golf simulator (it is winter here) and lunch. Then we got home and she asked me what my plans are, I told her I would do a little cleaning and the a few things for work. Well that was the wrong answer.
She immediately had me change into a maid's uniform and begin cleaning, at 9:30, completely exhausted she said, "You can relax for the rest of the night but I want you up early tomorrow to continue." So much for sleeping in. Well it is almost 8am and I am taking a break, already got the floors washed and polished, (we have laminate floor in some areas, wood in others) dishes and more laundry folded. Still much to do but nearly as much as if I didn't spend yesterday working my behind off.
At bed I gave her a great orgasm and when it was over she stroked me and said, "You did a wonderful job today, finish up tomorrow and maybe you can have a release. I drifted off to sleep with a stiffy and her holding onto her property. Funny how that type of behavior makes it much easier to wake up at 5:45 on a sunday morning to clean.
So why is this so awesome to a sub like me. What part of obeying, working hard and her getting the reward makes this so appealing. I guess I can't say for sure but I know it's how I have always wanted to live my life. And yes reality is better than fantasy. My life is filled with the love of my best friend and good times and yet obedience and discipline.
She has become much better at being comfortable in her role after 3 years. I remember the beginning, she was give me a task to do and when I was done she would ask me if I wanted to do more. Ha those days are gone. Last night I was ready to stop work at about 8pm as she was watching something on TV that interested me. She nonchalantly sent me off to clean the bathrooms and before I left she said, "Get me water please I really don't want to get up during this show." She tends to rub her dominance in at times and I admit its the best submissive feeling I can experience.
Ok well break needs to be done now, she will be up in about and hour and there is more that needs to be done before she wakes.
Her rule is simple, when she takes off clothing she drops it on the floor, 3 days from that moment is the deadline for it to be back in her drawer or hanging up and ready to wear again. This excludes ironed items as she allows me to have them accumulate until a decent pile is ready then I can iron it at one time.
Now she doesn't check on this with regularity but she will notice if I am folding laundry and things in the basket seem like its been a while since she wore them. Her bras are hung in the laundry room to dry, she doesn't like them going in the dryer, and if she see's 4 hanging then it makes it easy to see so the bras usually are my undoing.
She realizes that sometimes life gets in the way and she realizes that work responsibilities can sometimes make it difficult. But she also realizes that she makes rules for a reason and the there is a difference between being difficult to accomplish and impossible.
With that all being in mind yesterday started with us doing some stuff in the morning we enjoy, golf simulator (it is winter here) and lunch. Then we got home and she asked me what my plans are, I told her I would do a little cleaning and the a few things for work. Well that was the wrong answer.
She immediately had me change into a maid's uniform and begin cleaning, at 9:30, completely exhausted she said, "You can relax for the rest of the night but I want you up early tomorrow to continue." So much for sleeping in. Well it is almost 8am and I am taking a break, already got the floors washed and polished, (we have laminate floor in some areas, wood in others) dishes and more laundry folded. Still much to do but nearly as much as if I didn't spend yesterday working my behind off.
At bed I gave her a great orgasm and when it was over she stroked me and said, "You did a wonderful job today, finish up tomorrow and maybe you can have a release. I drifted off to sleep with a stiffy and her holding onto her property. Funny how that type of behavior makes it much easier to wake up at 5:45 on a sunday morning to clean.
So why is this so awesome to a sub like me. What part of obeying, working hard and her getting the reward makes this so appealing. I guess I can't say for sure but I know it's how I have always wanted to live my life. And yes reality is better than fantasy. My life is filled with the love of my best friend and good times and yet obedience and discipline.
She has become much better at being comfortable in her role after 3 years. I remember the beginning, she was give me a task to do and when I was done she would ask me if I wanted to do more. Ha those days are gone. Last night I was ready to stop work at about 8pm as she was watching something on TV that interested me. She nonchalantly sent me off to clean the bathrooms and before I left she said, "Get me water please I really don't want to get up during this show." She tends to rub her dominance in at times and I admit its the best submissive feeling I can experience.
Ok well break needs to be done now, she will be up in about and hour and there is more that needs to be done before she wakes.
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