Attention, it's what a sub wants.

A couple of years ago I was on a forum that I regularly participate in. A woman was pretty new to the site and she made some comments about subs and how they are always looking for something. That she couldn't understand why there were no real subs. She said she wanted someone to clean her house, and take care of things for her but she didn't want to have to give anything back, no sex, no punishments matter of fact she didn't even care to see him, just have him come in while she was gone, have him give himself to her and clean for her then go away until she needed it done again. She wondered why she couldn't find someone to give up things for her benefit without getting anything in return. She thought that's what a real sub is about, giving to others with getting nothing in return...WRONG.

I was actually infuriated reading this comment. I couldn't help thinking that she was just looking to use a free cleaning service and no wishes to be in a dominant relationship.

I think instead I should have realized that she didn't understand what subs want, what they need. Yes we talk about serving, giving up things for the benefit of our Mistress and we do, but we all want something out of it. Yes the dreaded what's in it for me.

Well that has so many different meanings that it might be hard for some to understand. This woman might have seen a man who served a woman, who gave up everything to clean her house and his reward was to be punished for his mistakes, made to stand in a corner and wait for her next order and possibly even deny himself gratification just because she said so. The woman might have mistakenly assumed that this meant that a true sub gives up everything to get nothing in return. However if you delve into the situation I just wrote about the sub is getting so much from his Mistress, things that the woman who I spoke about in the first paragraph doesn't understand.

He gets attention. Attention in my humble opinion is a big part of what we want as subs. Maybe I am wrong in saying all of us but I would bet, "The vast majority of us" would be accurate. I know there are always exceptions to the rule.

Take the man who is standing in the corner, being ignored staying motionless until the Mistress needs something. Is he getting attention. HELL YES. In so many ways the average person probably couldn't understand. He knows he is supposed to remain still, if he moves the Mistress might be ready to punish, she is watching, and if she isn't she has enough in the past to set the stage for him to not dare chance it. Maybe he is wearing something that reminds him of his place, maybe he is wearing nothing so she can enjoy the view, either way he is getting attention.

Others might mistake that guy who dresses as a maid and cleans the house while his Mistress is out having fun as a lack of attention but is that really the case? When she comes home is she going to check his work and punish for mistakes, is she going to give him accolades for his work or might she not thank him whatsoever and remind him that the work is expected, and thanking a slave isn't necessary. All three are forms of attention.

I have never felt so much attention in my life as the time when Mistress didn't enjoy the fact that her laundry wasn't done on time and made me miss part of a football game doing extra chores while she sat and watched. She didn't say a word to me about anything except giving me the next chore to do while I secretly wished with each finished task she would say, "Ok you can watch the game now." She relented at halftime but I felt so bathed in attention while I was by myself scrubbing her toilet that it may not be possible to explain to a non submissive person.

I also remember a time where she slept, many times actually, and I got up early to clean. She slept until 9am while I was up at 5:30 cleaning, by myself, alone, working without stop. When I woke her up at 9am with a rub down she smiled and told me to stand in the corner while she inspected the work, she decided that a couple of the things weren't done properly and needed to be redone while she went to the tanner, on return she used her riding crop on my ass to drive the point home. I was in heaven, the attention I felt out of that morning was beyond my hopes and dreams. Yes getting my ass beat is attention.

So to that woman those years ago that thought that a sub would love the idea of just coming into her home while she isn't home, cleaning and then leaving without ever seeing her, getting feedback on his work or any other type of contact. I say that I believe you are just not understanding what it is we want.

Every person craves to have a good life, I can't help that fact that my idea of a good time is putting on a dress and working while my Mistress flaunts her power and uses that power to keep me working and reward it with more service and even a punishment to show just who is in charge. But that is a far cry from working for someone who doesn't even care to acknowledge you or your work.

I know most dommes understand this, maybe all dommes but I think to a person who isn't submissive it isn't always clear on what a sub gets out of his life of service.....A lot more than anyone would think.

Us subs are in this life to enjoy it, just like dommes and vanilla people. We all want the most out of life, even if that means to get less in the eyes of others.