Things change around the Christmas season for us, I am sure for many others as well. The daily grind doesn't grind as much. Feelings towards others can even soften, what might normally bother you is forgiven a bit easier.
Maybe the trouble with this is that why is this time of good feelings towards others only temporary?
Maybe this year the best thing we could do to honor the feelings that Christmas brings is to continue those feelings into the next year.
A few weeks ago Mistress was leaving work, she was making a turn out of the parking lot and a guy was coming from the other direction, went thru a stop sign that he didn't even see and followed her. Pulled along side of her at a light and screamed some of the worst things a person possibly could to another human. The idea that the guy was so angry because he felt he was cut off, not realizing the fault was all his makes you sometimes wonder about people. Why the anger for something so small anyways, something so inconsequential in the scope of life?
As it turned out the video surveillance picked up the whole scene and confirmed that he was in the wrong. They asked Mistress if she wanted to press charges and she declined.
I felt different I wanted to have them bring the guy in and make him watch the video and explain at what point he saw something that Mistress did that was so egregious that his actions were justified, I know for a fact that guy would complete feel like an ass if forced to see the situation from a different point of view.
From my end I sometimes have issues with others. Handicap parking spaces are my pet peeve. I can't tell you how many times I have seen a person get out of their car and pull the rear view mirror handicap sign out of their glove box and practically run into the store. Especially during the busy Christmas season. I know those people think because they have procured a sign that they are "Entitled" to park there, that if a true handicap person needs that spot then there is going to be another one so what is the big deal. I really get angry when I see a person do this and lately I have to think to myself, maybe I also need to soften. Even if people feel the need to do a wide variety of things that I feel aren't in the best behavior for a caring human. I can't fall into a negative sort of mood because of it.
So I am starting with myself. I am going to focus on continuing the spirit of treating my fellow humans the way I would like to be treated, I will do my best to make someones day with a nice comment and I will do everything in my power to smile when I might normally get angry at another. I won't make a difference in the overall scope of the world but in my little world it might make a difference.
Ok for those few people that do read my blog I will admit this has nothing to do with my submissiveness. If you don't like it that's fine with me, I will just continue to smile and be thankful for everything I have in life and not worry about what I don't have.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Weekend of productivity
Last weekend was very productive. Spent a lot of time getting the house really clean and cleaning out closets in the spare room and just getting rid of things that were just ready for the garbage. Trash guy is going to hate me tomorrow.
Anyways I did most of this on my own, Mistress didn't give me any direction except, "I want the wood floors cleaned and waxed."
Of course doing all this work can provide a good feeling of accomplishment and it also made Mistress quite happy.
As the time went on I was wishing a bit she would make me do things so it would get my submissive juices flowing but that wasn't to be. I read another blog about a similar topic and it got me thinking.
How much better would it have been if Mistress was constantly inspecting, and assigning chore after chore. Well when I think better do I think better for me or better for her. As it turned out she was quite happy to do her own thing and just not have to worry about things and magically they were done. She enjoyed not having to supervise or make a list of tasks, just enjoy the fruit of her subs labor.
I guess as I venture thru my submission I am slowly learning that sometimes being a sub is just about the business of getting things done. I did that this past weekend and am very glad for it.
The thing is Mistress is very observant and can read my mind like an open book so even with the weekend being as it was she mixed in a few things to spice my days up. At one point she called me into a room and asked if I moved a few things before vacuuming, instead of answering yes or no I answered with, "I think I got the area pretty clean." Of course her response was, "That wasn't what I asked." After admitting I didn't move the items she said, "I think you know what to do then..." As she walked out of the room she added, "And next time you answer like that you will be writing sentences."
As it turned out I didn't earn sentences but I did get a huge reward for a job well done and she was very happy, overall a great weekend...well except for my local NFL team that played like they were just ready to go home after half time.
Anyways I did most of this on my own, Mistress didn't give me any direction except, "I want the wood floors cleaned and waxed."
Of course doing all this work can provide a good feeling of accomplishment and it also made Mistress quite happy.
As the time went on I was wishing a bit she would make me do things so it would get my submissive juices flowing but that wasn't to be. I read another blog about a similar topic and it got me thinking.
How much better would it have been if Mistress was constantly inspecting, and assigning chore after chore. Well when I think better do I think better for me or better for her. As it turned out she was quite happy to do her own thing and just not have to worry about things and magically they were done. She enjoyed not having to supervise or make a list of tasks, just enjoy the fruit of her subs labor.
I guess as I venture thru my submission I am slowly learning that sometimes being a sub is just about the business of getting things done. I did that this past weekend and am very glad for it.
The thing is Mistress is very observant and can read my mind like an open book so even with the weekend being as it was she mixed in a few things to spice my days up. At one point she called me into a room and asked if I moved a few things before vacuuming, instead of answering yes or no I answered with, "I think I got the area pretty clean." Of course her response was, "That wasn't what I asked." After admitting I didn't move the items she said, "I think you know what to do then..." As she walked out of the room she added, "And next time you answer like that you will be writing sentences."
As it turned out I didn't earn sentences but I did get a huge reward for a job well done and she was very happy, overall a great weekend...well except for my local NFL team that played like they were just ready to go home after half time.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Oh that hurt.
I will be the first to admit Mistress does not punish me very often. Some people would be happy about it, some not so much.
I used to wish she would punish more when I make a mistake, just the selfish submissive part of me. When we first started our FLR it as something that happened quite a bit. She would make me lay on the bed and she would use her riding crop, paddle or cane on me. When done I would be all proud of myself for being able to take it and kind of wish it would go longer.
What I guess I didn't realize at the time was that we were just playing, I didn't think it was play I thought it was real discipline.
Fast forward a few years and the punishments aren't nearly as often but I am extremely glad for that.
As it turned out as time went on Mistress wanted less to punish, it just isn't a fun game for her BUT when she does she now makes sure it is no game. I now fully realize and understand that if she decided to I am no match for her ass beatings. So much for the big strong man who could take it.
Last night was one of those times. It's probably been 2 months since I have had to lay face down on that bed. So when she sometimes threatens it I don't always take it seriously.
A couple of days ago she was making remarks that maybe I needed to be shown a lesson because some of the things around the house weren't cleaned when she wanted them to be. Then yesterday after work she was looking for some jeans she wanted to wear, as it turned out 3 of the pairs she was looking for were still in the wash. She didn't like that. Then when she said she would just put a pair of sweats on while I finished them the pair she wanted was dirty also. So I was on thin ice already then I being brave made a smart ass comment. Now mind you I am not disrespectful to her in any way. That just isn't me but I have always been a joker type and quick with the wit and one liner comebacks. Apparently when the clothes were dirty yesterday was not the time for jokes.
After my comment she just smiled and said, "You know what, on the bed, pants down." I asked her to reconsider and she just told me every second I delayed it would be worse.
Well it was worse. Oh that freakin hurt. When it was over. I apologized profusely and she accepted it.
She then remarked that she is going to probably need to do this more often to make sure that I am a bit better behaved.
She said it was up to me to not force her hand because she really doesn't enjoy doing that. What used to be a fun game has turned into what it was always supposed to be. A real deterrent to bad behavior from her sub.
Honestly the days of hoping for her punishment are long gone. As usual she wins. I had to work today but I can absolutely guarantee you I will be working very hard at cleaning her house as soon as I get home. She already has let me know that in addition to tonight she wants to go do some shopping tomorrow and what better time for me to spend some time getting some extra chores done for her.
I asked her if I could get up early and clean Sunday so I can watch some football. Her only response was, you can get up early but not really sure about the football. She did say since she will be watching she could let me know how the game went.
I used to wish she would punish more when I make a mistake, just the selfish submissive part of me. When we first started our FLR it as something that happened quite a bit. She would make me lay on the bed and she would use her riding crop, paddle or cane on me. When done I would be all proud of myself for being able to take it and kind of wish it would go longer.
What I guess I didn't realize at the time was that we were just playing, I didn't think it was play I thought it was real discipline.
Fast forward a few years and the punishments aren't nearly as often but I am extremely glad for that.
As it turned out as time went on Mistress wanted less to punish, it just isn't a fun game for her BUT when she does she now makes sure it is no game. I now fully realize and understand that if she decided to I am no match for her ass beatings. So much for the big strong man who could take it.
Last night was one of those times. It's probably been 2 months since I have had to lay face down on that bed. So when she sometimes threatens it I don't always take it seriously.
A couple of days ago she was making remarks that maybe I needed to be shown a lesson because some of the things around the house weren't cleaned when she wanted them to be. Then yesterday after work she was looking for some jeans she wanted to wear, as it turned out 3 of the pairs she was looking for were still in the wash. She didn't like that. Then when she said she would just put a pair of sweats on while I finished them the pair she wanted was dirty also. So I was on thin ice already then I being brave made a smart ass comment. Now mind you I am not disrespectful to her in any way. That just isn't me but I have always been a joker type and quick with the wit and one liner comebacks. Apparently when the clothes were dirty yesterday was not the time for jokes.
After my comment she just smiled and said, "You know what, on the bed, pants down." I asked her to reconsider and she just told me every second I delayed it would be worse.
Well it was worse. Oh that freakin hurt. When it was over. I apologized profusely and she accepted it.
She then remarked that she is going to probably need to do this more often to make sure that I am a bit better behaved.
She said it was up to me to not force her hand because she really doesn't enjoy doing that. What used to be a fun game has turned into what it was always supposed to be. A real deterrent to bad behavior from her sub.
Honestly the days of hoping for her punishment are long gone. As usual she wins. I had to work today but I can absolutely guarantee you I will be working very hard at cleaning her house as soon as I get home. She already has let me know that in addition to tonight she wants to go do some shopping tomorrow and what better time for me to spend some time getting some extra chores done for her.
I asked her if I could get up early and clean Sunday so I can watch some football. Her only response was, you can get up early but not really sure about the football. She did say since she will be watching she could let me know how the game went.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Strange times ahead
We have been together for 4 years now. About 2 years ago as the kids left for college we acquired an empty nest. Of course it makes the FLR we live very easy.
Well in a few weeks her daughter will be on break for the Christmas holiday.. Mistress already informed me that I should stay focused with my duties as they are. She won't be expecting her daughter to do any of the housecleaning.
That doesn't mean I will have to do as she says but I should take it upon myself not wait around for her to do things. Then after that she said to me, "I am not sure if I will have you obey her." I think she was jokeing around with me but sometimes I am not sure. Honestly I wouldn't mind obeying her if that's what Mistress wishes but it brings up a very strange situation. I have never had to deal with obeying anyone besides Mistress. Especially someone who is much younger.
In some ways it pushes the buttons in my submissiveness. But in some ways I do it anyways. In the past when she is home I cook and clean up dinner dishes so that isn't different, I clean the house and things of that nature without being told without asking for help. So in that regard there will be no change but just knowing that Mistress told me that she wants me to be on top of things to make sure the daughter doesn't have to do any housework is a change in my mind.
Maybe to some this is normal. Maybe to some obeying others is just part of everyday life. Maybe it will be in time for me as well but in the short term it might be a strange occurrence.
I don't think Mistress has in mind for me to clean her daughters room or do her laundry just the basics around the house, put her coat away when she puts in on a chair, pick her shoes up when she leaves them out. That sort of thing. Although with Mistress who knows.
After discussing it I thought to my self. What happened if she walks in and says, "Go clean my room." I know I would do it because if she said such a thing I would know Mistress told her about our situation but I honestly don't expect such a thing to happen. However I will admit that at the beginning I will be a bit anxious to see how things play out.
Well in a few weeks her daughter will be on break for the Christmas holiday.. Mistress already informed me that I should stay focused with my duties as they are. She won't be expecting her daughter to do any of the housecleaning.
That doesn't mean I will have to do as she says but I should take it upon myself not wait around for her to do things. Then after that she said to me, "I am not sure if I will have you obey her." I think she was jokeing around with me but sometimes I am not sure. Honestly I wouldn't mind obeying her if that's what Mistress wishes but it brings up a very strange situation. I have never had to deal with obeying anyone besides Mistress. Especially someone who is much younger.
In some ways it pushes the buttons in my submissiveness. But in some ways I do it anyways. In the past when she is home I cook and clean up dinner dishes so that isn't different, I clean the house and things of that nature without being told without asking for help. So in that regard there will be no change but just knowing that Mistress told me that she wants me to be on top of things to make sure the daughter doesn't have to do any housework is a change in my mind.
Maybe to some this is normal. Maybe to some obeying others is just part of everyday life. Maybe it will be in time for me as well but in the short term it might be a strange occurrence.
I don't think Mistress has in mind for me to clean her daughters room or do her laundry just the basics around the house, put her coat away when she puts in on a chair, pick her shoes up when she leaves them out. That sort of thing. Although with Mistress who knows.
After discussing it I thought to my self. What happened if she walks in and says, "Go clean my room." I know I would do it because if she said such a thing I would know Mistress told her about our situation but I honestly don't expect such a thing to happen. However I will admit that at the beginning I will be a bit anxious to see how things play out.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Why am I superly submissive???
I know superly really isn't a word. Maybe I just invented it but if it did exist it would fit my mood lately.
It's not been that long since my last release but the level of my submissiveness is over the top the last week or so. That doesn't mean I am not usually submissive, matter of fact I pride myself on the small amount of time that I am not in a submissive frame of mind. Even after a release, a time when so many subs have a difficult time, I seem to be at my submissive best for Mistress quickly. For me the times when I lose submissiveness is when stress permeates my mind.
So even though work is stressful right now that hasn't slowed down my submissiveness at all. Like I said the last week or so have been over the top. Dreams almost every night. Going the extra mile for Mistress without her saying and just the fact that my mind doesn't go more than a few minutes without having submissive thoughts go thru my head. Notice I didn't mention obedience. Whether I am feeling submissive or not I obey Mistress without question so there is no change in that regard.
I really have no idea what has caused this but I am quite happy about it. The best part is that now living as I am being in a submissive mood allows me to express it to Mistress when we are home after a long day at work or whatever the day calls for. The first 43 years of my life were spent time after time dreaming of being able to serve, submissive moods were just more difficult times to ignore what I wanted in life. Now those "superly" submissive times are the best things.
Those times are when I become a little more adventurous, a little more risky in pushing my boundaries and just overall more willing to happily obey with a smile on my face. Mistress recognizes these times also and she likes to push her will a bit too. Overall these are happy days in our house.
I may never figure out what brings it on, just as long as it keeps getting brought on.
It's not been that long since my last release but the level of my submissiveness is over the top the last week or so. That doesn't mean I am not usually submissive, matter of fact I pride myself on the small amount of time that I am not in a submissive frame of mind. Even after a release, a time when so many subs have a difficult time, I seem to be at my submissive best for Mistress quickly. For me the times when I lose submissiveness is when stress permeates my mind.
So even though work is stressful right now that hasn't slowed down my submissiveness at all. Like I said the last week or so have been over the top. Dreams almost every night. Going the extra mile for Mistress without her saying and just the fact that my mind doesn't go more than a few minutes without having submissive thoughts go thru my head. Notice I didn't mention obedience. Whether I am feeling submissive or not I obey Mistress without question so there is no change in that regard.
I really have no idea what has caused this but I am quite happy about it. The best part is that now living as I am being in a submissive mood allows me to express it to Mistress when we are home after a long day at work or whatever the day calls for. The first 43 years of my life were spent time after time dreaming of being able to serve, submissive moods were just more difficult times to ignore what I wanted in life. Now those "superly" submissive times are the best things.
Those times are when I become a little more adventurous, a little more risky in pushing my boundaries and just overall more willing to happily obey with a smile on my face. Mistress recognizes these times also and she likes to push her will a bit too. Overall these are happy days in our house.
I may never figure out what brings it on, just as long as it keeps getting brought on.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
FLR and the holidays
I am sure this isn't a new topic but what happens to the average FLR at the holiday season.
No one knows about our FLR relationship so when others are around it goes into stealth mode. If we are at someones house Mistress might glance over to me and shake her glass, a signal that I need to get her another one. But that is usually the extent of it.
If we are hosting the party she will help with things to get them done. She will even help with the cleanup but I don't think its a show to throw people off but instead just helping because there is a lot more to clean up. Mistress doesn't want me to miss spending time with our family and friends so her help is a way to allow me to enjoy the holidays even more.
So as a submissive do I like this? Am I glad I get some help? A little break from normal duties....HELL NO!!! If it was socially acceptable I would enjoy my role and my service to her in front of others.
That means I see holidays as fun but a little bit of a lost opportunity to serve my Mistress. Don't get me wrong it's completely worth it to spend time and make memories but there is a part of me, that dark part of me, that would rather kneel before her, eyes down in front of her while she had fun.
I guess as the holiday season approaches we should all think about the things in life we are grateful for. For each of us that list is different. But no matter how bad things are, how stressful they are there are things we all should be happy are in our lives. This is the time of year to focus on those things, to say thanks for having those things.
For me the ability to live my life serving my Mistress is near the top of the list.
No one knows about our FLR relationship so when others are around it goes into stealth mode. If we are at someones house Mistress might glance over to me and shake her glass, a signal that I need to get her another one. But that is usually the extent of it.
If we are hosting the party she will help with things to get them done. She will even help with the cleanup but I don't think its a show to throw people off but instead just helping because there is a lot more to clean up. Mistress doesn't want me to miss spending time with our family and friends so her help is a way to allow me to enjoy the holidays even more.
So as a submissive do I like this? Am I glad I get some help? A little break from normal duties....HELL NO!!! If it was socially acceptable I would enjoy my role and my service to her in front of others.
That means I see holidays as fun but a little bit of a lost opportunity to serve my Mistress. Don't get me wrong it's completely worth it to spend time and make memories but there is a part of me, that dark part of me, that would rather kneel before her, eyes down in front of her while she had fun.
I guess as the holiday season approaches we should all think about the things in life we are grateful for. For each of us that list is different. But no matter how bad things are, how stressful they are there are things we all should be happy are in our lives. This is the time of year to focus on those things, to say thanks for having those things.
For me the ability to live my life serving my Mistress is near the top of the list.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Subby Weekend
This weekend was an extremely Submissive time for me. Mistress was feeling more dominant than normal and with everything being busy the house wasn't as clean as usual. Saturday was a long day of cleaning for me. However we had an afternoon appointment on Saturday so I had to stop working at a certain time.
Before leaving Mistress asked me, "So looks like you got a lot done already, I see my bedroom hasn't been cleaned yet, when are you planning on getting that done, my makeup area is really a mess?"
As a side note the term "Her bedroom" references the room we both sleep in, it belongs to her just as I do."
I answered, "I want to have it done this weekend, so either later today or tomorrow."
She just looked at me and after a minute I realized she didn't like my answer, she pushed me down to my knees and repeated, "So when are you going to get my room cleaned, so I don't have to deal with a messy makeup area?"
That stopped me as I realized now what I had done. I was telling her when I was going to do what she wanted done. Not doing it when she wanted it done.
I changed my response, "I will clean your room when you decide you want it cleaned."
She replied, "That's better, I want it done as soon as you are able."
We got home that evening from our appointment and I was pretty tired, she never told me to clean the room, we relaxed on the couch watching TV but I knew in my head that I should be cleaning her mess up. So I asked for permission to go clean her room. She smiled and said, "That is an excellent idea."
It was almost 10pm before I was done but she was quite happy. I was glad I had it done and out of the way and it made for an easier Sunday.
As a sub it was a great learning experience for me. Serving her means serving her when and how she chooses. As a servant it is not my place to decide when something is convenient for me to do.
When her area is dirty or messy or just needs cleaning up, the delay on my end causes her to have to deal with that mess when she shouldn't have to. And Saturday night that time I spent cleaning her bedroom while she watched a movie was one of the more powerful submissive feelings. I knew while cleaning that area that I was working instead of relaxing so she could relax and so she could enjoy a clean room. The whole time that tingle of excitement in the pit of my stomach was present and I enjoyed every second of it.
Mistress has become extremely comfortable in the knowledge that when she makes a mess her only responsibility is to decide whether my clean up efforts were to her expectations. I have learned that these moment also make my submissive fantasies every thing I have ever dreamed of.
Before leaving Mistress asked me, "So looks like you got a lot done already, I see my bedroom hasn't been cleaned yet, when are you planning on getting that done, my makeup area is really a mess?"
As a side note the term "Her bedroom" references the room we both sleep in, it belongs to her just as I do."
I answered, "I want to have it done this weekend, so either later today or tomorrow."
She just looked at me and after a minute I realized she didn't like my answer, she pushed me down to my knees and repeated, "So when are you going to get my room cleaned, so I don't have to deal with a messy makeup area?"
That stopped me as I realized now what I had done. I was telling her when I was going to do what she wanted done. Not doing it when she wanted it done.
I changed my response, "I will clean your room when you decide you want it cleaned."
She replied, "That's better, I want it done as soon as you are able."
We got home that evening from our appointment and I was pretty tired, she never told me to clean the room, we relaxed on the couch watching TV but I knew in my head that I should be cleaning her mess up. So I asked for permission to go clean her room. She smiled and said, "That is an excellent idea."
It was almost 10pm before I was done but she was quite happy. I was glad I had it done and out of the way and it made for an easier Sunday.
As a sub it was a great learning experience for me. Serving her means serving her when and how she chooses. As a servant it is not my place to decide when something is convenient for me to do.
When her area is dirty or messy or just needs cleaning up, the delay on my end causes her to have to deal with that mess when she shouldn't have to. And Saturday night that time I spent cleaning her bedroom while she watched a movie was one of the more powerful submissive feelings. I knew while cleaning that area that I was working instead of relaxing so she could relax and so she could enjoy a clean room. The whole time that tingle of excitement in the pit of my stomach was present and I enjoyed every second of it.
Mistress has become extremely comfortable in the knowledge that when she makes a mess her only responsibility is to decide whether my clean up efforts were to her expectations. I have learned that these moment also make my submissive fantasies every thing I have ever dreamed of.
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