Wow what a first day

Wow is all I have.

Our first day of empty nest was better than I expected. I got home from work before her and began cleaning. We had the air off and it was hot upstairs. Halfway thru the first room she came home and was pleased I was busy cleaning the spare room, we have company coming later in the week and I knew I needed to have the entire house clean and ready.

After greeting her I went back to cleaning and after changing into comfortable clothes she came into the spare room and threw a skirt, panty hose, her shirt she wore to work yesterday and said, "Change and get back to work." Being really hot and said to her, "Panty hose but Baby its really hot up here."

She laughed and said, "I had to wear pantyhose to work today, why shouldn't you while you are working for me?" I said, "Yes Mistress." and she replied with, "and don't forget the high heel shoes, not the boots, those are too comfortable."

Needless to say it was very umcomfortable but yet it kept me very focused on my work, I cleaned up until 9:30 pm while she sat on the couch and did stuff for work.

I was given a break from the high heels to make her dinner and after we finished eating she got up from the table and said, "That was awesome, after you clean up the dishes you can go back to cleaning please. I will let you know if I need something." I put my shoes back on to do the dishes and continued my cleaning.

When I finally finished the entire upstairs I asked her if I could be done for the night. She checked my work and was very happy with the job I did. (I tend to do a better job of cleaning if I am wearing her clothes, no idea why but I am more focused and less in a hurry.)

For me it was an evening fantasies are made of and I was told that tonight would be a repeat performance with guest arriving a day later.

I can't wait.

One thing I can say is I felt so good taking the stress of making the house presentable off her while she worried about her work stuff. It gave me a very good feeling to know I could do the menial work for her allowing her to focus on more important things. I am very at home in my role as her servant and look forward to continuing that every night if she wishes so.

Empty Nest Day!

Today the young adult of our house leaves for college. Child doesn't fit here so young adult it is.

We take her today to move into her dorm.

We have disucussed this day for a while now. She has told me about the changes coming in our FLR. I have to say I have never been so excited in my life and look very forward to what the future brings.

Anyone who has went thru this please give me some tips of what to expect.

Oh Shit!

Hate posting things like this but tonight might have an uncomfortable moment in it.

Last night while going to DQ to pick up some ice cream I forgot to the basic duty of checking her gas tank.

Well apparently she got in the car this morning and immediately greeting her was the low gas icon on her dash board.

I got a text while at work asking if I checked her gas situation and had to admit I did not.

This was met with a text stating that she is going to be late for work now because it wasn't taken care of. And followed by a short text stating she had to go as running late there was no more time for texting.

Besides the obvious consequences that she probably will impose. Which of course is her absolute right as the authority in our relationship. There is that other part I am now dealing with.

The feeling of failing her. The feeling that she isn't happy becuase of something I have done. While I know she will forgive me...although the punishment might be something that will leave a lasting impression for a while. My biggest issue is that I pride myself on making her happy and making her life easier and now I have this worry that she isn't because of me. I would take 30 with the cane before I would want her to feel unhappiness. Its just how I am with her. It's not feeling upset because I know punishment is coming my way. Its the feeling upset because the one I love more than anything in the world isn't being served the way I feel I can. Almost a feeling of failure. I may have a red ass tomorrow but that won't compare to a feeling of failure in my book.

While I am sure I will get over it and I will make it up to her and we will discuss the feelings that go with this. For now I just don't feel good about it.

I will use it for fuel for my motivation to be better and I will soon have her happy again showing her how much I truly care and how much I truly love her. She deserves the best and I feel I can provide that for her.

I guess the bottom line is no matter how much I have learned I have a long way to go. I look forward to the challenge of making it right and to show her that I can do the job properly of making her life a wonderful place to be.

Keeping the relationship fresh, exciting and keeping her happy.

I want to spend today making some points on taking care of your girl. This doesn’t necessarily only apply to subs but could apply to any man who wants to make his relationship better with his significant other. Over time us guys, subs and non sub alike go thru periods where things get in a rut, become stagnant etc. I have a list of some things that will keep your relationship where it needs to be. Now I don’t claim to be an expert so I look forward to some posts to add to the list below. Hopefully some ideas will come up that will help me grow and get some new ideas and hopefully some will read my list and get something good out of it.

These aren’t necessarily in order or importance especially since what works for one might not be as effective for another.

Things anyone can do to keep your girl feeling special.

1.       Do something extra: Many of us who are subs love to be told what to do, it turns us on and we take pride in accomplishing what our owner tells us to do. But from her side nothing is better than the extra touch. Saturday I cleaned the fridge without Mistress S even thinking about having it done. She appreciated that more than all the other things I did that day put together. Something about that extra of doing something that isn’t expected really puts a smile on a girl’s face.

2.       Tokens of your love: Flowers, cards etc. If you get her flowers and card for holidays and birthdays and that’s the extent of it, you are barking up the wrong tree, and possibly may end up in the dog house. My favorite is a card under her pillow with a note in it that she finds as she gets into bed. I try to do these on a regular basis. Even better than buying a card is a homemade one. It’s the message that counts and the thought that matters. Same goes for flowers, flowers on her birthday has the appearance of “It’s time to get flowers again.” Flowers on a Thursday after work for no reason say, “I love you and because of that you deserve Flowers.” One thing I have noticed from Mistress S is that the flowers don’t always have to be expensive roses. A $5 bouquet from Kroger when you pick up milk says a lot to her. NEVER ASSUME THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS FAR ENOUGH ALONG THAT I DON’T NEED TO GET HER FLOWERS ANYMORE. I learned that the hard way in a past relationship. Also be creative, don’t fall into a rut with this either, Flowers every Tuesday will be appreciated but it also will be predictable. Change it up; think out of the box from time to time. She will appreciate it.

3.       Messages of your love: I send Mistress S an email at work every day telling her I love her. Maybe that is too much for you but going out of your way to send an “I love you.” Text or email will mean more than the “I love you.” That becomes routine when you leave for work or roll over to go to sleep. Try to say it differently also, if she is at work and gets a text saying, “I was at the store and thought I saw the most beautiful woman in the world but then I realized you were at work.” Can put a smile on her face and brighten a day. Small efforts can have big effects.

4.       Learn to cook: This may not be for everyone but she will appreciate you trying to learn and help, also be creative when you try it. Don’t be afraid to try new things. The effort will be appreciated even if the dish needs improvement. This won’t apply for some submissive men who already do all the cooking and cleaning but for those that don’t keep it in mind.

5.       Listen to her: I am not talking about obey. I am talking about truly listening and actually being part of her conversation about what happened at work. Pay attention and take an interest. If she tells you about the co worker who wore the gawdy yellow shoes on Monday and then Thursday is talking about the same girl and you pipe in with, “Isn’t she the one with the yellow shoes from the other day.” Trust me that will make her feel what she is saying is important to you and you care. Don’t do it just to make her think you care….Actually try to care and it won’t be so hard. Take an interest in what she does learn about what she does, it’s not hard.

6.       Don’t be a robot: Many men fall into that robot category, subs can especially be that way as we are programmed to obey. When your girl asks if you want to go out to eat and you reply, “yes” this may be followed up with, “Where do you want to go?” which on many occasions find us guys answering, “I don’t care, where do you want to go?” Well boys, if you are submissive there is that part of you that wants her to pick and choose and make her happy but if she is asking you then she wants your input. If you truly don’t know or have a preference then maybe answer something more appropriate like, “Not sure, would you like Italian food?” or “Not sure, would you like a place where the game would be on the TV?” This will get the discussion moving and you will be a contributor to the discussion instead of a bystander.

7.       Remember dates: Birthday, wedding, etc. This probably goes without saying but it wouldn’t be a list without it.

8.       Affection: Whether it’s holding her hand in the mall even after 25 years of marriage. Watching TV on the couch and leaning over and giving her a kiss just because or numerous other small things, keep the sensation of touch going. Never let this get away. (Another lesson I learned the hard way.) There are a bunch of ways to accomplish this, rub her neck with one hand while driving, rubbing her leg as you sit next to her. Seriously there are thousands of ways to show you are thinking of her when you are otherwise doing something else. One of my favorites is to come up to her while she is doing something and just kiss her on the back of the neck and say, “Just wanted you to know you are beautiful, I love you and I can’t keep my hands off you.” I say this because it’s absolutely true so make sure you find something that you really mean and try it.

9.       Remind her of positives about her: Tell her you love the way she smells, tastes, looks, whatever. You already have things about her you love, like her smile, her perfume or her legs in a pair of shorts…Well let her know that. If you see her come up to you in a pair of shorts say, “God I love you legs.” She will feel awesome. Now I am not telling you to say something you don’t mean, girls are way too smart for that. Be honest, mean what you say and say it like you mean it.

10.   Ok last one this one is a bit different but it will show you care about her more than you can imagine….LEARN TO USE YOUR TONGUE!!! Yup, you know what I am talking about. Recently I have made it a mission to learn to please her more than she has ever had before in her life. Well when I started this I couldn’t tell a clitoris from a clam. I bought a book, read things on line, experimented and tried different things and it has worked. Remember her pleasure is one of the most important things in life. Here is a great way to give her that pleasure. I read that 2 out of 3 sexual encounters between men and women end in the woman not being satisfied…..What a bunch of crap that is. Come on guys, we can do way better than that. Are you going to tell me you don’t like doing that? You don’t like the taste? Tough shit, learn to love it. I admit I love going down on her and I love her taste also, I do understand I am in the minority but even if I didn’t I would still do whatever I had to make her have the pleasure she deserves. Then once you decide you are going to put your girl in the minority of satisfied women after sexual encounters category learn a few things. Learn what to do, the best spots and experiment. Since every girl is different what works on one won’t necessarily work on another. I have to say I got one of the best compliments from Mistress S the other day, she told me that I was the best at using my tongue she has ever had and said the orgasm she has was mind blowing. I joked that maybe I should get business cards made up to which she replied. “No way, I own your ass and you are all mine and I won’t share.” The point is she has enjoyed this more than you can imagine. My only advice I will give on the subject is that it isn’t a race, take your time do a thorough job and you will be rewarded with the waves of pleasure she experiences. You will feel proud that you had that effect on her and she will be beaming with an ear to ear smile. That boys, is what it’s all about.

Ok that’s my list. I hope others chime in with ways to help me be better and hope the list helps others. The bottom line is if we do our job there should be a line of happy girls as far as the eye can see. Now before I sign off, remember I am not saying I am any type of expert but just a guys with ideas and want to share. I am hoping this begins a conversation where others give their input and we all benefit.

Punishment, that moment of pause before it begins.

Last night Mistress S. decided it was time for me to pay for my transgressions for the week. I thought I had made it through the day and we were going to bed when she announced, "Take off all your clothes, except for your panties, get face down on the bed." I knew it was time, I asked for something that I could put in my mouth to help which she graciously obliged with a pair of panties. It was then time to bury my head in a pillow and stay still.

Unfortunately that position does not allow me to see which weapon she has chosen to use, prior experience in asking to look only got the response. "Keep your head down, what I decide to beat your ass with is none of your business."

Then it began....That pause while I am helpless, powerless to do anything but await the inevitable. Suppressing that fight or flight feeling that comes with the anxiety of what is to come. Knowing that I could get up and move or leave but realizing that her power is such that I am at her mercy, unable to move because of the most powerful words in the english language to me...."Becuase I said so."

If you aren't submissive or haven't experienced a punishment that leaves your ass sore for a week you probably can't relate to this moment in time but for me it's one of the most powerful things in my life.

That moment that every sound is magnified, hearing the cabinet door open and finally close when the instrument is selected. Her feet against the wood floor as she moves into position, the long wait as she sizes up her target adds to my anguish by waiting longer. Believe me she knows exactly what she is doing. Then the light touch of the cane or whatever weapon that she chooses as she lightly prods and moves it along my behind to amplify what is coming. It seems to take forever as I am powerless to move, just the feel of the weapon on my backside begins what think of as my road to forgiveness for what I have done.

Sometimes that is followed by words of admonishment or sometimes it just begins, it's never the same, as she is unpredicatable. The only thing that is predictable is that I will regret my mistakes when she is done and I will focus on being better by not repeating the errors that put me here. Mistress S believes that punishment for a second offense should always be harsher than the first offense so whatever I am going thru at the moment is childs play if I repeat the offense.

When it begins its almost relief, the waiting is over and that means soon the debt will be paid to her. Of course she also is very good at making a punishment effective. Last night she started slow but soon gave a number of shots right after the other, no time to recover, each stroke amplifying as it landed before the pain from the previous stroke subsided. After a 5 or 6 quick ones it was almost unbearable and then a rest. At that point I am hoping for a small break to allow for recovery but she knows that isn't to be. The break is over before my ass has the chance to recover for the next set.

When it is finally over my ass is on fire and the only thing left is to get on my kness and explain to her what I have learned and express my gratitude for her teaching me how to serve her better.

I mean, we both agree that I should be the best possible servant I can be, she just has to make sure that my errors are pointed out, corrected and punished as to not forget. That is her gift for me to better serve her. She deserves that and so do I.

This morning sitting is difficult but the reasons that I was punished last night are anything but difficult to remember.

Obedience, Punishment and Behavior.

Looks like this weekend might prove a bit challenging. After a week of some misteps in behavior and obedience I have been told that I will be paying for those offenses this weekend. The mistakes weren't horrible but Mistress S feels that small things adding up mean a lack of concentration and focus on my part. She has let me know that because of her love for me she will make sure that I will be better at concentration and focus and this weekend will be her way to show me.

I admit I am quite nervous about this but at the same time I am glad for it. Not as the kinky turn on reason because whatever she comes up with, trust me, I won't like it. But more because I do feel an obligation to serve her and learning to serve her better makes me happy, if that means suffering to remind me of my place and how I need to focus so be it. She knows best.

I will take the punishment, learn from it and be better for it.

A couple of other things are at play here.

1. My pride in serving her. I really take pride in taking care of her, serving her and making her life more easy and convenient. Anything that helps me, including one bright red ass, is a small price to pay for me to eventually have the pride of being the best I can be for her.

2. My representation of her. I belong to her, I am her property and if I don't perform well, it a reflection of her ability to lead. I can't stand the thought of a negative mark on her for something I did.

So Mistress S, teach me, I promise to learn, I won't promise to enjoy the learning experience but I will be better for it....my ass depends on it.

Submission and Stress

How does stress effect a person's submission? I guess we all will have different answers. I used to lose my sumbissiveness whenever I would get stressed, it would dissapear while the worry of whatever was happening was getting fixed, sorted out or whatever the solution to the problem is. Lately that has changed, my job can be a bit stressful at times and when it does I have tried a new tactic to combat it. I think about what I love, my submissiveness, I picture being done with work and heading home, coming into the door to see Mistress S with her arms crossed tapping her feet. Or I picture coming home to a note stating "These things better be done by the time I get home and your uniform is waiting on the bed for you." Whatever the fantasy (it differs by day) it puts me in a submissive state of mind. At that point all the excitement I get out of my submission returns and once that occurs my training seems to kick in and I focus on the issues at work, knowing that once these are fixed I can go be where I long to be, at the feet of Mistress S.

Now I won't pretend that would work with a seriously bad stressful situation, like a death in the family or a loved one getting really sick or a car accident etc. But for the smaller things that bother me it works fine to solve some of the stress issues. I would love to hear some others points of view on this. I know everyone is different and who knows maybe someone elses way of coping would work for me also.

Owner and Best Friend

I would like to point out a few things about the relationship between Mistress S and I. First we are deeply in love and we are best friends. We do most everything together and if you saw us in public you might not even notice I am her personal servant. I am respectful to her in public, I get her drinks, open her car door and do as she says but she doesn't flaunt it in public. We love to golf and do it quite often nowadays.

Whether its going out with friends, going out on the town or just out for dinner we are almost always together when we aren't at work. We truly are best friends to each other as well as lovers. However that doesn't mean that we are equals. I obey her without question, the rules she has set for me are not to be broken and I take them quite seriously. All it took was breaking them a couple times and I learned real quickly to obey. Mistress S is fun loving, caring and loves to joke around and have a great time however when it's time to obey don't mess with her. She is strict and loves to teach lessons when her rules aren't followed but she is very consistent in her treatment of me.

I have to say I have learned so much since she has taken over and I am a much better person for it. Not only in my treatment of her but also in every other part of my life, I own a business and it has taken off since she has been in control. I get more things done am more efficient and the business has benefitted. She has taught me to stay focused on tasks at hand and finish things completely and correctly before moving on to another task. I have always been one of those people that tackles a multitude of tasks and usually get bogged down with all of them 80% complete. Short and sweet my servitude to Mistress S has been a great benefit for me, my company and my employees. They have more work, more secure jobs and its all because Mistress S has turned me into a better person. Funny how learning to do dishes, laundry and scrubbing floors, properly, completely and when told to do so can hold lessons to extrapolate into running a business.

I am sure others have similar stories but the idea that becoming another persons property has made me actually more free than I have ever experienced in my life makes no sense to someone who hasn't experienced the submissive dream.

That is all for now, I will be back with more stuff, hopefully more exciting for everyone that this background information.

Welcome all, this is my first post. My name is SOS, which stands for Servant of Mistress S. I left out the M as when the name SOS came about I was not refering to my owner as Mistress. The purpose of my blog is to write real life situations in my Female Led Relationship. Mistress S and I are engaged and have been living our FLR for 2 years now. We spent one year dating before I sprung on her that I was submissive. She wasn't dominant (or so she thought) but for me decided she would go along with my submissiveness and try to give me some of my fantasies I have dreamed about since before I can remember.

It was a slow start, although I admit that was probably the best way for us to explore, and after some time she slowly came to realiz thaet she really enjoyed her dominance. Since then the pace of my increased submission and her dominance has grown exponetially at times.

In a few weeks we are going to be experiencing our empty nest and I have been assured that things will be quite different for us. As exciting as that will be it has caused me to do some research on my submission and I found out that there are not a great amount of places to get good information regarding male submission. My goal is to try to gain information to be a better servant and share with others the things that have worked for me as well as the things that haven't.

I guess to start I will move back in time. We are both in our forties and were both married once before. I was married for almost 20 years to a person who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

I have had submissive desires as far back as I can ever remember but never shared that information with anyone, including my first wife. Not sure why exactly it was that I never felt I could trust anyone with my secret but it was never to be. I would fantasize about being owned by a beautiful dominant woman and just assumed that I would spend my entire life keeping that fantasy to myself. I was prepared to do that for many reasons, career, trust, fear of the unknown, fear of being shunned and a host of other reasons. Spending years never able to live out my dreams were very difficult at times for me but I assumed that most people harbored some secret that they kept inside.

As it turned out my first marriage ended with her deciding that she wanted someone else. I was devestated but soon realized that it was time to move on. I actually made a mental list of traits I was looking for, however none of those traits included a dominant woman, I still assumed that was out of the question for me. After dating 11 girls I finally met Mistress S, of course she wasn't a Mistress at the time and we spent a year together without telling her of my desires. I admit something was different about her, I had a level of trust with her that I never experienced with anyone else before. It caused me to try hinting about things, I would offer to do the laundry, more than my share of the cleaning and even joking that I should be her servant. It became a little harmless game we would joke about.

One day after almost a year of being together I felt I had to tell her. I had been so honest with her that keeping secrets from her was very hard on me. I made a pact with myself to tell her the following week. Well that very night we were driving to dinner and I just blurted out. "You know how I joke about being your slave?" She answered, "Yes." I replied, "Well I like that." Her response was a simple, "I know you do." and I had to reiterate, "No I really really like that." She seemed taken back a bit and it brought on a conversation on what feelings I had. She wasn't too sure about it but agreed to try it sometime, more than the joking we would do from time to time. My secret was out and it was the best feeling in the world.

Two years later she says she could never go back to a vanilla relationship. I couldn't either. The journey has been wonderful and I admit without the courage to bring it up I may have lived my entire life always regretting not getting the chance to live my dreams. I guess my advice to anyone is that if you are in the situation I was and you truly trust your significant other, have the courage to tell them. You owe it to yourself to try. In the next postings I will share some of the day to day things that make our relationship awesome as well as going over some past experiences that were memorable to get us where we are now.

Eventually I would love to put enough info together with the help of others to put together a site for helping submissive males and the women who love them and dominate them.

SOS