Punishment, that moment of pause before it begins.

Last night Mistress S. decided it was time for me to pay for my transgressions for the week. I thought I had made it through the day and we were going to bed when she announced, "Take off all your clothes, except for your panties, get face down on the bed." I knew it was time, I asked for something that I could put in my mouth to help which she graciously obliged with a pair of panties. It was then time to bury my head in a pillow and stay still.

Unfortunately that position does not allow me to see which weapon she has chosen to use, prior experience in asking to look only got the response. "Keep your head down, what I decide to beat your ass with is none of your business."

Then it began....That pause while I am helpless, powerless to do anything but await the inevitable. Suppressing that fight or flight feeling that comes with the anxiety of what is to come. Knowing that I could get up and move or leave but realizing that her power is such that I am at her mercy, unable to move because of the most powerful words in the english language to me...."Becuase I said so."

If you aren't submissive or haven't experienced a punishment that leaves your ass sore for a week you probably can't relate to this moment in time but for me it's one of the most powerful things in my life.

That moment that every sound is magnified, hearing the cabinet door open and finally close when the instrument is selected. Her feet against the wood floor as she moves into position, the long wait as she sizes up her target adds to my anguish by waiting longer. Believe me she knows exactly what she is doing. Then the light touch of the cane or whatever weapon that she chooses as she lightly prods and moves it along my behind to amplify what is coming. It seems to take forever as I am powerless to move, just the feel of the weapon on my backside begins what think of as my road to forgiveness for what I have done.

Sometimes that is followed by words of admonishment or sometimes it just begins, it's never the same, as she is unpredicatable. The only thing that is predictable is that I will regret my mistakes when she is done and I will focus on being better by not repeating the errors that put me here. Mistress S believes that punishment for a second offense should always be harsher than the first offense so whatever I am going thru at the moment is childs play if I repeat the offense.

When it begins its almost relief, the waiting is over and that means soon the debt will be paid to her. Of course she also is very good at making a punishment effective. Last night she started slow but soon gave a number of shots right after the other, no time to recover, each stroke amplifying as it landed before the pain from the previous stroke subsided. After a 5 or 6 quick ones it was almost unbearable and then a rest. At that point I am hoping for a small break to allow for recovery but she knows that isn't to be. The break is over before my ass has the chance to recover for the next set.

When it is finally over my ass is on fire and the only thing left is to get on my kness and explain to her what I have learned and express my gratitude for her teaching me how to serve her better.

I mean, we both agree that I should be the best possible servant I can be, she just has to make sure that my errors are pointed out, corrected and punished as to not forget. That is her gift for me to better serve her. She deserves that and so do I.

This morning sitting is difficult but the reasons that I was punished last night are anything but difficult to remember.