Hate posting things like this but tonight might have an uncomfortable moment in it.
Last night while going to DQ to pick up some ice cream I forgot to the basic duty of checking her gas tank.
Well apparently she got in the car this morning and immediately greeting her was the low gas icon on her dash board.
I got a text while at work asking if I checked her gas situation and had to admit I did not.
This was met with a text stating that she is going to be late for work now because it wasn't taken care of. And followed by a short text stating she had to go as running late there was no more time for texting.
Besides the obvious consequences that she probably will impose. Which of course is her absolute right as the authority in our relationship. There is that other part I am now dealing with.
The feeling of failing her. The feeling that she isn't happy becuase of something I have done. While I know she will forgive me...although the punishment might be something that will leave a lasting impression for a while. My biggest issue is that I pride myself on making her happy and making her life easier and now I have this worry that she isn't because of me. I would take 30 with the cane before I would want her to feel unhappiness. Its just how I am with her. It's not feeling upset because I know punishment is coming my way. Its the feeling upset because the one I love more than anything in the world isn't being served the way I feel I can. Almost a feeling of failure. I may have a red ass tomorrow but that won't compare to a feeling of failure in my book.
While I am sure I will get over it and I will make it up to her and we will discuss the feelings that go with this. For now I just don't feel good about it.
I will use it for fuel for my motivation to be better and I will soon have her happy again showing her how much I truly care and how much I truly love her. She deserves the best and I feel I can provide that for her.
I guess the bottom line is no matter how much I have learned I have a long way to go. I look forward to the challenge of making it right and to show her that I can do the job properly of making her life a wonderful place to be.
Of course you should feel bad about disappointing your Mistress. I would wonder if you were NOT feeling bad. And you might feel worse when She gets through with you. (No matter if she punishes your or forgives you...you'll feel bad.)
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