Keeping the relationship fresh, exciting and keeping her happy.

I want to spend today making some points on taking care of your girl. This doesn’t necessarily only apply to subs but could apply to any man who wants to make his relationship better with his significant other. Over time us guys, subs and non sub alike go thru periods where things get in a rut, become stagnant etc. I have a list of some things that will keep your relationship where it needs to be. Now I don’t claim to be an expert so I look forward to some posts to add to the list below. Hopefully some ideas will come up that will help me grow and get some new ideas and hopefully some will read my list and get something good out of it.

These aren’t necessarily in order or importance especially since what works for one might not be as effective for another.

Things anyone can do to keep your girl feeling special.

1.       Do something extra: Many of us who are subs love to be told what to do, it turns us on and we take pride in accomplishing what our owner tells us to do. But from her side nothing is better than the extra touch. Saturday I cleaned the fridge without Mistress S even thinking about having it done. She appreciated that more than all the other things I did that day put together. Something about that extra of doing something that isn’t expected really puts a smile on a girl’s face.

2.       Tokens of your love: Flowers, cards etc. If you get her flowers and card for holidays and birthdays and that’s the extent of it, you are barking up the wrong tree, and possibly may end up in the dog house. My favorite is a card under her pillow with a note in it that she finds as she gets into bed. I try to do these on a regular basis. Even better than buying a card is a homemade one. It’s the message that counts and the thought that matters. Same goes for flowers, flowers on her birthday has the appearance of “It’s time to get flowers again.” Flowers on a Thursday after work for no reason say, “I love you and because of that you deserve Flowers.” One thing I have noticed from Mistress S is that the flowers don’t always have to be expensive roses. A $5 bouquet from Kroger when you pick up milk says a lot to her. NEVER ASSUME THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS FAR ENOUGH ALONG THAT I DON’T NEED TO GET HER FLOWERS ANYMORE. I learned that the hard way in a past relationship. Also be creative, don’t fall into a rut with this either, Flowers every Tuesday will be appreciated but it also will be predictable. Change it up; think out of the box from time to time. She will appreciate it.

3.       Messages of your love: I send Mistress S an email at work every day telling her I love her. Maybe that is too much for you but going out of your way to send an “I love you.” Text or email will mean more than the “I love you.” That becomes routine when you leave for work or roll over to go to sleep. Try to say it differently also, if she is at work and gets a text saying, “I was at the store and thought I saw the most beautiful woman in the world but then I realized you were at work.” Can put a smile on her face and brighten a day. Small efforts can have big effects.

4.       Learn to cook: This may not be for everyone but she will appreciate you trying to learn and help, also be creative when you try it. Don’t be afraid to try new things. The effort will be appreciated even if the dish needs improvement. This won’t apply for some submissive men who already do all the cooking and cleaning but for those that don’t keep it in mind.

5.       Listen to her: I am not talking about obey. I am talking about truly listening and actually being part of her conversation about what happened at work. Pay attention and take an interest. If she tells you about the co worker who wore the gawdy yellow shoes on Monday and then Thursday is talking about the same girl and you pipe in with, “Isn’t she the one with the yellow shoes from the other day.” Trust me that will make her feel what she is saying is important to you and you care. Don’t do it just to make her think you care….Actually try to care and it won’t be so hard. Take an interest in what she does learn about what she does, it’s not hard.

6.       Don’t be a robot: Many men fall into that robot category, subs can especially be that way as we are programmed to obey. When your girl asks if you want to go out to eat and you reply, “yes” this may be followed up with, “Where do you want to go?” which on many occasions find us guys answering, “I don’t care, where do you want to go?” Well boys, if you are submissive there is that part of you that wants her to pick and choose and make her happy but if she is asking you then she wants your input. If you truly don’t know or have a preference then maybe answer something more appropriate like, “Not sure, would you like Italian food?” or “Not sure, would you like a place where the game would be on the TV?” This will get the discussion moving and you will be a contributor to the discussion instead of a bystander.

7.       Remember dates: Birthday, wedding, etc. This probably goes without saying but it wouldn’t be a list without it.

8.       Affection: Whether it’s holding her hand in the mall even after 25 years of marriage. Watching TV on the couch and leaning over and giving her a kiss just because or numerous other small things, keep the sensation of touch going. Never let this get away. (Another lesson I learned the hard way.) There are a bunch of ways to accomplish this, rub her neck with one hand while driving, rubbing her leg as you sit next to her. Seriously there are thousands of ways to show you are thinking of her when you are otherwise doing something else. One of my favorites is to come up to her while she is doing something and just kiss her on the back of the neck and say, “Just wanted you to know you are beautiful, I love you and I can’t keep my hands off you.” I say this because it’s absolutely true so make sure you find something that you really mean and try it.

9.       Remind her of positives about her: Tell her you love the way she smells, tastes, looks, whatever. You already have things about her you love, like her smile, her perfume or her legs in a pair of shorts…Well let her know that. If you see her come up to you in a pair of shorts say, “God I love you legs.” She will feel awesome. Now I am not telling you to say something you don’t mean, girls are way too smart for that. Be honest, mean what you say and say it like you mean it.

10.   Ok last one this one is a bit different but it will show you care about her more than you can imagine….LEARN TO USE YOUR TONGUE!!! Yup, you know what I am talking about. Recently I have made it a mission to learn to please her more than she has ever had before in her life. Well when I started this I couldn’t tell a clitoris from a clam. I bought a book, read things on line, experimented and tried different things and it has worked. Remember her pleasure is one of the most important things in life. Here is a great way to give her that pleasure. I read that 2 out of 3 sexual encounters between men and women end in the woman not being satisfied…..What a bunch of crap that is. Come on guys, we can do way better than that. Are you going to tell me you don’t like doing that? You don’t like the taste? Tough shit, learn to love it. I admit I love going down on her and I love her taste also, I do understand I am in the minority but even if I didn’t I would still do whatever I had to make her have the pleasure she deserves. Then once you decide you are going to put your girl in the minority of satisfied women after sexual encounters category learn a few things. Learn what to do, the best spots and experiment. Since every girl is different what works on one won’t necessarily work on another. I have to say I got one of the best compliments from Mistress S the other day, she told me that I was the best at using my tongue she has ever had and said the orgasm she has was mind blowing. I joked that maybe I should get business cards made up to which she replied. “No way, I own your ass and you are all mine and I won’t share.” The point is she has enjoyed this more than you can imagine. My only advice I will give on the subject is that it isn’t a race, take your time do a thorough job and you will be rewarded with the waves of pleasure she experiences. You will feel proud that you had that effect on her and she will be beaming with an ear to ear smile. That boys, is what it’s all about.

Ok that’s my list. I hope others chime in with ways to help me be better and hope the list helps others. The bottom line is if we do our job there should be a line of happy girls as far as the eye can see. Now before I sign off, remember I am not saying I am any type of expert but just a guys with ideas and want to share. I am hoping this begins a conversation where others give their input and we all benefit.