What makes you really obey.

Thinking out loud. Or at least on paper. Well crap it's not even paper anymore.

Never mind all that, thinking about obedience to my Mistress. What makes a sub obey? I suppose it depends on the relationship, for me it goes way deep to the reason I am how I am.

For us when Mistress tells me to do something I do it however, even with punishment looming, what makes me obey? Am I afraid of being punished, yes at times but that isn't the real reason that when she says scrub the kitchen floor I do it no questions asked. No it goes much deeper, there is a fear that no matter how dominant she is that if I refuse to obey she will relent eventually on her dominance. That scares me more than any punishment I can ever dream of. It would be losing the dream life I always fantasized about.

That more than anything will push me to happily obey her words even at those times where I am not feeling it so much.

The last week as been one of those times, I am trying to get in shape and focusing on that plus the stress level at work is making my submissive life difficult these days. Each day I am getting closer to being myself but late last week was a difficult for my submissiveness, I had to really push myself and as I get more back to my submissive self I am glad I did.

So am I glad it is this way? Would I rather Mistress was so dominant that a slight breach in obedience would result in punishment severe enough that I wouldn't dare disobey her again? No that isn't us, in addition to being my lover she is my best friend as well, so the dynamic between us would change if she treated me so harshly.

I will admit before I really ever experienced submissiveness to another person my fantasies were filled with being the slave of a beautiful woman who owned me, expected obedience and enforced it with an iron will. I also pictured being just that to her a servant, a slave, a tool for her to use to make her life easier, not as an integral part of a relationship. As much as the submissive fantasy portion of my brain gets excited about the prospect of such treatment, I couldn't live life that way full time. It would start out exciting and I would quickly become unfulfilled.

I am much happier with reality of what we have and realize that she does own me heart and soul and she does have my complete obedience. Just not for the reasons I thought in my fantasies.