Sorry for being away but I was sick again. This time it was a good 5 days of not being sick enough to stay home but enough to make things miserable. Went to the Hockey game Thursday night and had to leave after the second period, missed a great Wing's win in overtime against Pittsburgh. Mistress was fine with going but I was disappointed we missed the end.
Besides that it has been a less than submissive week for me. A few of the days were not possible to go home and do what I needed to do to serve Mistress. She of course was fine with it but she was sad the one night that I was feeling so bad I asked to skip giving her the nightly lotion application. She understood but at the same time I could tell she was disappointed.
Well coming out of that Mistress has determined that the long winter has caused too much inactivity for me. So I am taking Vitamins now and getting active again. This winter really has done some damage to my activity level and the rest of me is suffering.
Well the weather is breaking so all excuses are done anyways. I look forward to getting back to where I usually am and I have already resumed my duties of serving my wonderful Mistress.
By the way as an update from my last post, thanks to Mistress Marie and I'm Hers for the advise. Unfortunately I wrote the essay before reading your ideas. As it turned out She did not like the essay so much and said I spent too much time going over why I should not have forgotten about keeping the stapler where she wants it instead of what I am going to do in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again. Oh and she found a couple of spelling mistakes and a grammar issue.
Now that I am healthy I am going to be paying for that.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
A stapler is causing all this????
Yesterday Mistress had to work late. I got home at normal time and decided it would be a good idea to make the house looking very nice for Mistress' return home.
I worked for about 2 1/2 hours downstairs making sure everything was in good shape....
Well on the kitchen table were some items that mistress uses when she does the books for the business. I took these items upstairs in order to make it look less cluttered when she got home.
She came home and was happy about the job I did, we ate dinner and she did payroll. After payroll was completed she looked for her stapler to finish up her work. I have to admit we have had this talk before about putting things away she needs on the days she needs them. I should have remembered when cleaning up that it was payroll day and yet I still took her supplies and put them where it made it difficult for her to find them.
She wasn't angry about it but informed me while laying in bed that tomorrow(today after work) I would have to write her an essay explaining why I am having a difficult time remembering to leave the things she needs on a certain day in the places she wants them and how I can do a better job in the future. She explained that she understood that it was my job to clean up after her and keep the house clean but that putting the things she needed for payroll away 2 hours before she was going to be using them made more work for her. That it would have been much better to wait until she was done with it, then to put things away.
Like I said she wasn't angry but just wants me to learn better to anticipate her needs and think ahead to make things easier for her.
She has already put me on notice that the stapler itself isn't the issue its the thought process behind it. And she has informed me that if the essay doesn't meet her approval then there will be follow up punishment.
Any ideas of what I should incorporate? I have a good base for it but any ideas would be appreciated. You just might save me a red ass before this night is over.
I worked for about 2 1/2 hours downstairs making sure everything was in good shape....
Well on the kitchen table were some items that mistress uses when she does the books for the business. I took these items upstairs in order to make it look less cluttered when she got home.
She came home and was happy about the job I did, we ate dinner and she did payroll. After payroll was completed she looked for her stapler to finish up her work. I have to admit we have had this talk before about putting things away she needs on the days she needs them. I should have remembered when cleaning up that it was payroll day and yet I still took her supplies and put them where it made it difficult for her to find them.
She wasn't angry about it but informed me while laying in bed that tomorrow(today after work) I would have to write her an essay explaining why I am having a difficult time remembering to leave the things she needs on a certain day in the places she wants them and how I can do a better job in the future. She explained that she understood that it was my job to clean up after her and keep the house clean but that putting the things she needed for payroll away 2 hours before she was going to be using them made more work for her. That it would have been much better to wait until she was done with it, then to put things away.
Like I said she wasn't angry but just wants me to learn better to anticipate her needs and think ahead to make things easier for her.
She has already put me on notice that the stapler itself isn't the issue its the thought process behind it. And she has informed me that if the essay doesn't meet her approval then there will be follow up punishment.
Any ideas of what I should incorporate? I have a good base for it but any ideas would be appreciated. You just might save me a red ass before this night is over.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Keeping it fresh after 3 1/2 years.
Mistress and I have been together for 4 1/2 years now. The best time of my life without a doubt.
3 1/2 years ago we embarked on our FLR, although and I dare to say even that first year was spent with her being in control to some degree.
When we began this journey I think we both wondered if it could last. The fantasy part of it was new and awesome, I was experiencing things that I only dreamed about. But I couldn't help wonder, what would happen after a few years, would the excitement wear off? Would it be a flash in the pan?
If you are new to this type of lifestyle or if you haven't experienced it yet let me reassure you, if you work on it and allow it to evolve it just gets better. I will admit those moments in the early days where I would just think about our new relationship and I my stomach would tingle with butterflies that doesn't happen as often but all it takes is one sentence from her and those butterflies are back, still to this day.
The key is to let it evolve. When you begin this journey we all have a visual, one that probably has been going through our mind for years, of what we hope it will be like. When it happens it's the best feeling in the world. I remember like it was yesterday the first time Mistress sat on the couch and had me kneel before her. It was in the first few weeks after we started our FLR, and we started very slowly, she asked me if something she wanted to wear was clean. She already knew the answer but wanted to hear what I had to say. When my answer was an excuse about why her clothing item wasn't ready for her to wear she said this line. "My laundry being done is a priority over you watching TV, I suggest you get to work."
There wasn't punishment following it but it was the first time in my life I was being lectured about not doing something that normally wouldn't be considered my responsibility. I got up to go to the laundry room and that also was the first time, certainly not the last, that she confiscated my phone and said, "While you are working for me you leave your phone here. I don't want you doing personal things while you are on my time." The hard on I had was incredible with just two sentences.
3 1/2 years later those words will still get me hard and excited but they happen less often. First of all, her laundry is done when it should so the amount of time being lectured is less often. But that isn't a negative, we evolve. She finds other ways to explore her dominance to keep me excited and I obey her without question now which was hard to do at the beginning. That has evolved for me.
The bottom line is you need to work at it, just like any relationship to continue to keep things fresh. It doesn't happen automatically but after this length of time I am convinced that if you choose to work at it, you can keep it fresh forever, keep it exciting forever and never worry that in time you will lose your FLR. I am sure that most people who cherish this lifestyle will worry from time to time about losing that excitement. Don't! Actively work on it and it will be yours forever.
A couple of things I didn't consider when we started this relationship will pretty much guarantee its longevity. First I didn't realize that in time Mistress would get used to this type of treatment and used to being in control. She has said on many occasions that "There is no going back now."
Also I didn't realize that in addition to the fantasy excitement of being dominated by her that I would also feel so comfortable with her in control. With those two factors we are in this till the end. So since it isn't going to change then as a couple we work at it to make it the best we can.
Not only is it possible to have an FLR forever with us its probably not possible NOT to have one.
3 1/2 years ago we embarked on our FLR, although and I dare to say even that first year was spent with her being in control to some degree.
When we began this journey I think we both wondered if it could last. The fantasy part of it was new and awesome, I was experiencing things that I only dreamed about. But I couldn't help wonder, what would happen after a few years, would the excitement wear off? Would it be a flash in the pan?
If you are new to this type of lifestyle or if you haven't experienced it yet let me reassure you, if you work on it and allow it to evolve it just gets better. I will admit those moments in the early days where I would just think about our new relationship and I my stomach would tingle with butterflies that doesn't happen as often but all it takes is one sentence from her and those butterflies are back, still to this day.
The key is to let it evolve. When you begin this journey we all have a visual, one that probably has been going through our mind for years, of what we hope it will be like. When it happens it's the best feeling in the world. I remember like it was yesterday the first time Mistress sat on the couch and had me kneel before her. It was in the first few weeks after we started our FLR, and we started very slowly, she asked me if something she wanted to wear was clean. She already knew the answer but wanted to hear what I had to say. When my answer was an excuse about why her clothing item wasn't ready for her to wear she said this line. "My laundry being done is a priority over you watching TV, I suggest you get to work."
There wasn't punishment following it but it was the first time in my life I was being lectured about not doing something that normally wouldn't be considered my responsibility. I got up to go to the laundry room and that also was the first time, certainly not the last, that she confiscated my phone and said, "While you are working for me you leave your phone here. I don't want you doing personal things while you are on my time." The hard on I had was incredible with just two sentences.
3 1/2 years later those words will still get me hard and excited but they happen less often. First of all, her laundry is done when it should so the amount of time being lectured is less often. But that isn't a negative, we evolve. She finds other ways to explore her dominance to keep me excited and I obey her without question now which was hard to do at the beginning. That has evolved for me.
The bottom line is you need to work at it, just like any relationship to continue to keep things fresh. It doesn't happen automatically but after this length of time I am convinced that if you choose to work at it, you can keep it fresh forever, keep it exciting forever and never worry that in time you will lose your FLR. I am sure that most people who cherish this lifestyle will worry from time to time about losing that excitement. Don't! Actively work on it and it will be yours forever.
A couple of things I didn't consider when we started this relationship will pretty much guarantee its longevity. First I didn't realize that in time Mistress would get used to this type of treatment and used to being in control. She has said on many occasions that "There is no going back now."
Also I didn't realize that in addition to the fantasy excitement of being dominated by her that I would also feel so comfortable with her in control. With those two factors we are in this till the end. So since it isn't going to change then as a couple we work at it to make it the best we can.
Not only is it possible to have an FLR forever with us its probably not possible NOT to have one.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
In reference to I'm Hers post Is Two times the charm?
If you haven't read it already, I recommend you read I'm Hers post today, it really made me think about my own situation.
In case you haven't read it and don't have time to go over there, his post is called "Is two times the charm?"
He writes about the reason why many femdom relationships are successful as second marriages.
This really hit home for me. Obviously I wouldn't write about it if I wasn't in that exact situation but I have thought many hours on why this is the case? Before even reading this post I thought for the last few years on what is different this time around and why we are successful in a femdom relationship.
Well the easy answer is everything, but to be more specific there are a few things that make the FLR dynamic work for us now.
Mistress and I have talked in the past about what could have been, how our lives would be different if we met early in life instead of in our forties.
We came to the conclusion that there is an almost certainty that if we would have met when we were 20 we would have never been together. Huh? What? Why?
We were both different people back then.
Back then I was submissive inside, I knew it and fantasized about it, but outwardly I was trying to climb the ladder of success, I wanted the most for me, wanted to be the best, have the most, be successful and be able to boast to my friends that I was "winning" the battle of life. Back then there is no way I could have accepted being under the control of my girl, no matter how badly I secretly wanted it, there is no way I would have let that happen. Then something happened to me...maturity.
Maturity for me happened when I was dumped by my first wife. Yes dumped utterly and completely. She even made comments that she hoped I would not find happiness because she wanted me to be miserable. Was I guilty of treating her really terribly? No and she admits that, she just knew that I was a person that couldn't read hints well. So when things weren't good I thought they were fine and this made her angry...Not angry enough to actually discuss what was wrong...no that was supposed to be something I just knew and because I didn't she didn't want to go on. Well as I have matured I now realize what I am. She was right I really don't see things all the time, but now I realize I don't, and I was selfish, even if it was in the best interest of the family from my point of view, but that was only from my point of view.
Maturity has allowed me to see things from the other side, how another understands and sees things. And it has changed me, changed me enough to allow me to be confident with who I am and confident of what I have done in life.
I remember when I got married the first time around and buying our first house, it was a competition to see who got their name on the phone bill, electric, and god forbid my name would have been on the bottom of the checking account. Now I have the confidence to not only not care but also to admit to myself that Mistress should be at the top. Not just behind closed doors but also when it comes to simple things like that.
For Mistress when she was young she had no confidence and in her first marriage it was less than a good relationship to allow her to gain confidence.
When we met Mistress had come along way in her life, got her degree, a good job and was very self sufficient but she still lacked confidence. When she met me she says through the way I treated her that it instilled confidence in her. That allowed for the base for our current relationship.
So without our personal journey's through the early days of our life what we have now would never be possible. I would never have the confidence in myself to obey her and she would have never had the confidence to lead. She would have always worried that what she was doing was wrong or that I wouldn't like it. She still from time to time worries I won't like something but she has the confidence in herself to do what she thinks is right and the confidence in the strength of our relationship to realize that as the leader sometimes your decision won't be what the other wants but is the best for the couple. She also has the confidence in me to know that I will abide by her decision, not second guess her and adopt her decision as our family decision not to later say, "See, I would have done it this way."
Never a chance what we have now would have been possible if we would have met in our 20s'
We needed proper baking at a certain temperature for years and years to get us both ready for what we have now.
For us everything that led up to where we are now was molded because of our past. We just got lucky that we met when we did to allow us to have what we have now.
One last point about this whole topic is that if one is smart, and I am not talking about rocket science IQ score, I am referring to smart in terms of learning from life, accepting and admitting your mistakes and actually using your mistakes as a way to learn to make you a better person. Well if you are smart like I described then when you are making your list of qualities you are looking for in your second marriage you are going to "usually" do a much better job than when you made that list the first time around.
I suppose this is why most CEO's aren't 22, they need to learn from failures, successes and apply them to what direction they lead to, for themselves and the company they run. If the workers of a company don't trust the leadership of the CEO things don't usually run well.
In our house Mistress is the CEO, she has that experience and her worker trusts that leadership without question. She is smart enough to use her assets, get opinions from her worker but in the end our family flies by the rules set forth by our CEO.
I know there are a lot of people that read that don't have partners and are still looking for the perfect one. Never stop looking, that person is out there but when you find them be prepared, be ready, learn from your past, become a better partner so you don't miss out on them. Someday that person is walking into your life and you will never know what day that is, it could be tomorrow, a year from now or you could be sitting 20 feet away from them everyday in a cubicle. But do NOT wait until that day to become better, be ready and waiting and when they show up your chances of a successful relationship are already going to be much improved over the statistics.
In case you haven't read it and don't have time to go over there, his post is called "Is two times the charm?"
He writes about the reason why many femdom relationships are successful as second marriages.
This really hit home for me. Obviously I wouldn't write about it if I wasn't in that exact situation but I have thought many hours on why this is the case? Before even reading this post I thought for the last few years on what is different this time around and why we are successful in a femdom relationship.
Well the easy answer is everything, but to be more specific there are a few things that make the FLR dynamic work for us now.
Mistress and I have talked in the past about what could have been, how our lives would be different if we met early in life instead of in our forties.
We came to the conclusion that there is an almost certainty that if we would have met when we were 20 we would have never been together. Huh? What? Why?
We were both different people back then.
Back then I was submissive inside, I knew it and fantasized about it, but outwardly I was trying to climb the ladder of success, I wanted the most for me, wanted to be the best, have the most, be successful and be able to boast to my friends that I was "winning" the battle of life. Back then there is no way I could have accepted being under the control of my girl, no matter how badly I secretly wanted it, there is no way I would have let that happen. Then something happened to me...maturity.
Maturity for me happened when I was dumped by my first wife. Yes dumped utterly and completely. She even made comments that she hoped I would not find happiness because she wanted me to be miserable. Was I guilty of treating her really terribly? No and she admits that, she just knew that I was a person that couldn't read hints well. So when things weren't good I thought they were fine and this made her angry...Not angry enough to actually discuss what was wrong...no that was supposed to be something I just knew and because I didn't she didn't want to go on. Well as I have matured I now realize what I am. She was right I really don't see things all the time, but now I realize I don't, and I was selfish, even if it was in the best interest of the family from my point of view, but that was only from my point of view.
Maturity has allowed me to see things from the other side, how another understands and sees things. And it has changed me, changed me enough to allow me to be confident with who I am and confident of what I have done in life.
I remember when I got married the first time around and buying our first house, it was a competition to see who got their name on the phone bill, electric, and god forbid my name would have been on the bottom of the checking account. Now I have the confidence to not only not care but also to admit to myself that Mistress should be at the top. Not just behind closed doors but also when it comes to simple things like that.
For Mistress when she was young she had no confidence and in her first marriage it was less than a good relationship to allow her to gain confidence.
When we met Mistress had come along way in her life, got her degree, a good job and was very self sufficient but she still lacked confidence. When she met me she says through the way I treated her that it instilled confidence in her. That allowed for the base for our current relationship.
So without our personal journey's through the early days of our life what we have now would never be possible. I would never have the confidence in myself to obey her and she would have never had the confidence to lead. She would have always worried that what she was doing was wrong or that I wouldn't like it. She still from time to time worries I won't like something but she has the confidence in herself to do what she thinks is right and the confidence in the strength of our relationship to realize that as the leader sometimes your decision won't be what the other wants but is the best for the couple. She also has the confidence in me to know that I will abide by her decision, not second guess her and adopt her decision as our family decision not to later say, "See, I would have done it this way."
Never a chance what we have now would have been possible if we would have met in our 20s'
We needed proper baking at a certain temperature for years and years to get us both ready for what we have now.
For us everything that led up to where we are now was molded because of our past. We just got lucky that we met when we did to allow us to have what we have now.
One last point about this whole topic is that if one is smart, and I am not talking about rocket science IQ score, I am referring to smart in terms of learning from life, accepting and admitting your mistakes and actually using your mistakes as a way to learn to make you a better person. Well if you are smart like I described then when you are making your list of qualities you are looking for in your second marriage you are going to "usually" do a much better job than when you made that list the first time around.
I suppose this is why most CEO's aren't 22, they need to learn from failures, successes and apply them to what direction they lead to, for themselves and the company they run. If the workers of a company don't trust the leadership of the CEO things don't usually run well.
In our house Mistress is the CEO, she has that experience and her worker trusts that leadership without question. She is smart enough to use her assets, get opinions from her worker but in the end our family flies by the rules set forth by our CEO.
I know there are a lot of people that read that don't have partners and are still looking for the perfect one. Never stop looking, that person is out there but when you find them be prepared, be ready, learn from your past, become a better partner so you don't miss out on them. Someday that person is walking into your life and you will never know what day that is, it could be tomorrow, a year from now or you could be sitting 20 feet away from them everyday in a cubicle. But do NOT wait until that day to become better, be ready and waiting and when they show up your chances of a successful relationship are already going to be much improved over the statistics.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
As things progress, the smile on my face grows.
One thing I have noticed about how our FLR progresses. Things don't always just abruptly change. Nope, Mistress sets a rule, decides something should be done a certain way and then things just slowly move on.
What do I mean? For example, Monday night I asked Mistress if we were going to do something on Tuesday night. She answered, "Well I am going shopping, I have a few things to pick up, I want you to stay home and get this house looking better than it does now." It wasn't a dig at me just acknowledgement that on busy weekends, especially with kids visiting, things can get messy quickly.
So yesterday I come home from work, donned something appropriate to clean in, and got to it. Eventually Mistress comes home and I stop what I am doing to see her. I sit down with her and talk about the day. We go back and forth for about a half hour and then she says, "So when did you get done cleaning?" I respond, "Actually I am not done yet, I still have a little to finish." She answers, "Then why are you sitting here when you should be working and why aren't you on your knee's like you are supposed to be." Which immediately hits home with me.
I realize then that I forgot something that she set up long ago. When I approach her she likes when I respectfully kneel in front of her and wait for her to address me. I just sat in the chair and began talking. She noted that maybe after time the rules she sets up are becoming taken for granted. She also let me know that she would figure out some way to keep me minding her rules later in the week. Not sure what it is yet but that will be for another blog.
The point is the change happens gradually, and the slip ups seem egregious when you forget to do something that seems normal for a long time. The time you forget things it seems almost alien to go against the rules that have been set up.
Then you think about the object of it even further and compare it to the vanilla world and it seems even more strange.
"Did I just get in trouble for speaking to my fiancee without waiting on my knee's for her to acknowledge me?" The answer to that question would be yes. But the bigger point is that it seems normal to do that. Over time it has evolved into that. At first it felt erotically strange to kneel before her and have a conversation. Now it feels strange not to. Although feeling strange is probably not going to be as bad as the punishment she has in store for later this week.
What do I mean? For example, Monday night I asked Mistress if we were going to do something on Tuesday night. She answered, "Well I am going shopping, I have a few things to pick up, I want you to stay home and get this house looking better than it does now." It wasn't a dig at me just acknowledgement that on busy weekends, especially with kids visiting, things can get messy quickly.
So yesterday I come home from work, donned something appropriate to clean in, and got to it. Eventually Mistress comes home and I stop what I am doing to see her. I sit down with her and talk about the day. We go back and forth for about a half hour and then she says, "So when did you get done cleaning?" I respond, "Actually I am not done yet, I still have a little to finish." She answers, "Then why are you sitting here when you should be working and why aren't you on your knee's like you are supposed to be." Which immediately hits home with me.
I realize then that I forgot something that she set up long ago. When I approach her she likes when I respectfully kneel in front of her and wait for her to address me. I just sat in the chair and began talking. She noted that maybe after time the rules she sets up are becoming taken for granted. She also let me know that she would figure out some way to keep me minding her rules later in the week. Not sure what it is yet but that will be for another blog.
The point is the change happens gradually, and the slip ups seem egregious when you forget to do something that seems normal for a long time. The time you forget things it seems almost alien to go against the rules that have been set up.
Then you think about the object of it even further and compare it to the vanilla world and it seems even more strange.
"Did I just get in trouble for speaking to my fiancee without waiting on my knee's for her to acknowledge me?" The answer to that question would be yes. But the bigger point is that it seems normal to do that. Over time it has evolved into that. At first it felt erotically strange to kneel before her and have a conversation. Now it feels strange not to. Although feeling strange is probably not going to be as bad as the punishment she has in store for later this week.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Awesome day.
Today is a good day, Saturday, a day off work, well the kind that you get paid for. The temperatures are a bit warmer and Mistress is out wedding dress shopping.
She and her daughter are trying on dresses for our upcoming wedding later this year. I on the other hand am going to stay home and do some chores that Mistress wants done. I guess I will be trying on dresses also. LOL.
Point is it makes for a good day, she is excited about her daughter being home for the weekend, she is excited about dress shopping and I am also excited to indulge in some maid service while they are gone.
To the outside reader not understanding who we are they would probably think I am getting the short end of the deal today. Couldn't be further from the truth.
Add to that Mistress has had a jump in her dominance the last few days. Even going as far as making sure after I cooked dinner for the 3 of us she made a point of joking to her daughter, "Guess who gets to clean up dinner tonight?" I joked back, "I clean up dinner every night." It was one of those fun moments that doesn't cross the line of what we are but pushes the boundary a bit. Her daughter doesn't know how our relationship is but I am sure she suspects something.
The last couple of weeks has been difficult with the weather and just moods seeming to be down. Hopefully the weather is changing now in a more permanent way. Well permanent until summer ends, which here in Michigan is probably 4th of July.
She and her daughter are trying on dresses for our upcoming wedding later this year. I on the other hand am going to stay home and do some chores that Mistress wants done. I guess I will be trying on dresses also. LOL.
Point is it makes for a good day, she is excited about her daughter being home for the weekend, she is excited about dress shopping and I am also excited to indulge in some maid service while they are gone.
To the outside reader not understanding who we are they would probably think I am getting the short end of the deal today. Couldn't be further from the truth.
Add to that Mistress has had a jump in her dominance the last few days. Even going as far as making sure after I cooked dinner for the 3 of us she made a point of joking to her daughter, "Guess who gets to clean up dinner tonight?" I joked back, "I clean up dinner every night." It was one of those fun moments that doesn't cross the line of what we are but pushes the boundary a bit. Her daughter doesn't know how our relationship is but I am sure she suspects something.
The last couple of weeks has been difficult with the weather and just moods seeming to be down. Hopefully the weather is changing now in a more permanent way. Well permanent until summer ends, which here in Michigan is probably 4th of July.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Different perspectives
Don't really have a lot to report today but I do want to send out a quick thanks to all the people who read as well as the other bloggers out there.
It feels really good after living for years, decades and longer thinking that no one was like me, then finding out that there are many that are the same.
I know we don't have the same things that turn us on, the same triggers for our submissiveness and we have different ways of acting, showing each other what we mean to each other and for many just have a plain different way of handling the issues that arise in a FLR.
Some of us are on the sub side and some on the domme side but in the end we are all on the same team.
The truth is though that we all have a lot in common and it feels good to be a part of it.
So thanks to everyone who reads what I write and for those who write allowing me to have something to read. It has changed my life and has made my life seem much more full now. Gone is that emptiness of thinking there is something wrong with you or thinking you are on an island.
Obviously the biggest thanks goes to Mistress for teaching me that being who I am is not only ok but that I am truly accepted, wanted and loved for what I am.
It feels really good after living for years, decades and longer thinking that no one was like me, then finding out that there are many that are the same.
I know we don't have the same things that turn us on, the same triggers for our submissiveness and we have different ways of acting, showing each other what we mean to each other and for many just have a plain different way of handling the issues that arise in a FLR.
Some of us are on the sub side and some on the domme side but in the end we are all on the same team.
The truth is though that we all have a lot in common and it feels good to be a part of it.
So thanks to everyone who reads what I write and for those who write allowing me to have something to read. It has changed my life and has made my life seem much more full now. Gone is that emptiness of thinking there is something wrong with you or thinking you are on an island.
Obviously the biggest thanks goes to Mistress for teaching me that being who I am is not only ok but that I am truly accepted, wanted and loved for what I am.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Winter blahs and submissiveness
I think part of being submissive and enjoying service is about being happy in general terms.
A couple weeks back I wrote about what kills your submissive desires. Stress, crisis, orgasms etc.
I think the winter blahs are a indirect cause also. Maybe not directly but I believe it's hard to be submissive when the world just seems gray and cold. I guess for me submissiveness is related to my happiness. It makes me happy to be submissive and when I am happy my submissiveness is most prevalent.
So this morning Mistress tells me (via text) she is out of pantyhose for work, I apologized to her and her response was, "It's ok, no biggee."
She then came back with, "I think this weather is putting us both off kilter."
Usually I don't forget to have her stocked up on the things she needs and usually it isn't ok when I do forget to do something like that.
It's a good day to throw the weather bullshit in the garbage, get over and above the cold and crappy weather outside the window and start acting like I want to and how I need to.
Not just to make her happy but to make me happy. I need to use my submissiveness as a tool to get myself in a better frame of mind as these last few weeks (or months....) of winter pass. Not only will it do me good but it will also elevate Mistress as well.
As the sub I am not in charge but I do have the ability to control things a bit by just being positive, being happy and the best way for me to do that is to embrace my submissiveness and resist that temptation to be lazy.
Laziness zaps everything positive out of me. It always has. I know it...and it's a perfect day to change it.
Starting right this second.
A couple weeks back I wrote about what kills your submissive desires. Stress, crisis, orgasms etc.
I think the winter blahs are a indirect cause also. Maybe not directly but I believe it's hard to be submissive when the world just seems gray and cold. I guess for me submissiveness is related to my happiness. It makes me happy to be submissive and when I am happy my submissiveness is most prevalent.
So this morning Mistress tells me (via text) she is out of pantyhose for work, I apologized to her and her response was, "It's ok, no biggee."
She then came back with, "I think this weather is putting us both off kilter."
Usually I don't forget to have her stocked up on the things she needs and usually it isn't ok when I do forget to do something like that.
It's a good day to throw the weather bullshit in the garbage, get over and above the cold and crappy weather outside the window and start acting like I want to and how I need to.
Not just to make her happy but to make me happy. I need to use my submissiveness as a tool to get myself in a better frame of mind as these last few weeks (or months....) of winter pass. Not only will it do me good but it will also elevate Mistress as well.
As the sub I am not in charge but I do have the ability to control things a bit by just being positive, being happy and the best way for me to do that is to embrace my submissiveness and resist that temptation to be lazy.
Laziness zaps everything positive out of me. It always has. I know it...and it's a perfect day to change it.
Starting right this second.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Fun weekend but looking forward to warmer days.
Mistress and I had a fun weekend. Played in a pool tournament, which we really didn't do that well in, actually went bowling, which is something we never do and mixed it in with a bunch of together time.
I guess with the ridiculous weather our options are a bit limited these days but we are making the best of it.
No there was no time to enjoy my cleaning and dressing fun but there was some dominance mixed into the weekend.
We were at a bar, practicing for the tournament we were going to play in the next day. Just having a couple of drinks and enjoying the day. I went to the bar to get another drink for us when the bartender asked me if we wanted menu's to eat. Not wanting to leave the bar area until the drinks were ready I yelled over to Mistress to see if she wanted a menu. She nodded she did and all was fine.
Until...I got back to our table. Mistress came up to me and looked me in the eyes and said in a low voice so no one else could hear. "Don't do that again, if you want me, come see me, don't yell at me across the bar."
I didn't even understand that until she brought it up to me, then I saw why she thought it wasn't very respectful. Now it's not a major thing but it is something that she doesn't like. I am pretty sure it goes back to how she was treated in the past.
She then told me. "Next time you do that I will bend your ass over this stool and give it to you good in front of everyone."
Now I know that was more for effect, I can't be sure but I don't think she would do such a thing in public. But the point is not to push her and find out.
After the moment was over and a promise that sometime this week, when she decides, I will have to pay the price for that behavior. That is Mistress' way of making me think about it. Not knowing when it will come, yet knowing there is no chance she decides to let it go. I have to say it's very effective.
Anyways after the moment was over we continued our play and went back to having fun. At one point she came up to me and said, "Oh by the way if you want to yell across the bar to me again, make sure you use Mistress when you call me." She laughed and I thought about the prospect of yelling Mistress across the bar. I just said, "How about I just come see you next time."
She agreed that it would be a good idea.
I guess with the ridiculous weather our options are a bit limited these days but we are making the best of it.
No there was no time to enjoy my cleaning and dressing fun but there was some dominance mixed into the weekend.
We were at a bar, practicing for the tournament we were going to play in the next day. Just having a couple of drinks and enjoying the day. I went to the bar to get another drink for us when the bartender asked me if we wanted menu's to eat. Not wanting to leave the bar area until the drinks were ready I yelled over to Mistress to see if she wanted a menu. She nodded she did and all was fine.
Until...I got back to our table. Mistress came up to me and looked me in the eyes and said in a low voice so no one else could hear. "Don't do that again, if you want me, come see me, don't yell at me across the bar."
I didn't even understand that until she brought it up to me, then I saw why she thought it wasn't very respectful. Now it's not a major thing but it is something that she doesn't like. I am pretty sure it goes back to how she was treated in the past.
She then told me. "Next time you do that I will bend your ass over this stool and give it to you good in front of everyone."
Now I know that was more for effect, I can't be sure but I don't think she would do such a thing in public. But the point is not to push her and find out.
After the moment was over and a promise that sometime this week, when she decides, I will have to pay the price for that behavior. That is Mistress' way of making me think about it. Not knowing when it will come, yet knowing there is no chance she decides to let it go. I have to say it's very effective.
Anyways after the moment was over we continued our play and went back to having fun. At one point she came up to me and said, "Oh by the way if you want to yell across the bar to me again, make sure you use Mistress when you call me." She laughed and I thought about the prospect of yelling Mistress across the bar. I just said, "How about I just come see you next time."
She agreed that it would be a good idea.
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