Sorry for my absence, life has been hectic and work and coaching, there isn't enough time for a lot of blogging, Mistress S is also very stressed at her job so while we are still living our FLR lifestyle it is a bit timid these days. I still am expected to obey and take care of the household cleaning duties as well as laundry and all other things. Mistress S just doesn't have time these days to be involved in the supervision of that. I am fine with that I love that she can focus on her things and I take the time to take care of the chores she wants no part of.
Of course the playful servant always wants that submissive behavior to be enforced and pushed on me. However understanding that our FLR is real and not a fantasy game I completely get why that isn't what its all about.
Lets get this straight she still commands and I still obey but some of the rules she set forth that I follow, like kneeling while asking a question and items of that nature, seem to get lost in our life at times. I forget to do them and she doesn't enforce when I forget to do them. I am still subservient to her and when she wants something done I do it but there isn't a formal aspect to it most of the time.
I guess the point to this blog is that in our life, our normal life, she is still the leader and I am the follower, I keep the house clean and make sure that when she wants to wear something its ready to go. But besides that there isn't a lot of the day to day dominant acts that she is known to use on me. Its just the natural way of things now. She hasn't laid me on the bed and used the crop in quite a while now, and there have been times she could and would have in the past. If I make a mistake she brings it up and I try to do better. The playful part of me misses that portion but the realist in me knows that this is just life for us, two people deeply in love where one happens to be in charge, the other obeys but the leader doesn't need to flaunt it always.
So now that we are in our empty nest and have spent a few months in solid FLR with no kids around things have settled down. Don't get me wrong I still absolutely love my life as her servant and love those Fridays nights where she says, "You will be getting up early and cleaning, wear this and wake me at the proper time." I also love every moment I can serve her and just love the look on her face when she comes home and doesn't have to do housework, her smile is worth all the work involved on my end.
Our life is awesome for us but it probably doesn't make for great reading these days. That's ok I will still fill you in when something happens but in addition I think the biggest lesson is that our FLR, real life, and day to day life have found its common ground level. It isn't all of the fantasy things I thought about lying in bed all those years where I didn't have the opportunity to live it but in many ways its better.
I am not second class citizen, I do have a voice and I live a pretty normal life filled with absolute love however I still must obey the person who owns me body, heart and soul.
This is the FLR she wants and I am following her lead with a smile on my face.
As I said when things of note happen I will update everyone, in between I will write about the real world of FLR, the love the lifestyle and the everyday events that make it up. For those of you who don't live it you might find interest in it, for those of you who do live it the same style as us might find commond ground interest but if your style of FLR is a lot more on the kinky side compared to ours then my blog probably won't excite you so much. I do thank everyone who reads and welcome any comments.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
A normal Monday....NOT.
Monday can be a bad day at our house, mostly just because of the stresses of work tend to play out on Monday's, not exactly sure why but Monday evenings tend to be ones where we don't do too much and maybe go out to dinner, relax and watch Football.
Also lately Mistress S. has been a little less than her dominant self as I posted last week. I think I have still accomplished in keeping her happy with making sure things were taken care of so she could relax, focus on the things she needed to do and not have to worry about the house and things of that nature.
Yesterday something was different, when I arrived home from work (Mistress S. had to work late). There was a note on the kitchen counter top that gave a list of things that needed to be done, a mention that on our bed was the outfit I had to wear while accomplishing her tasks and that if I finished before she got home then I could spend the rest of the time standing in the corner awaiting her return.
Well that was excitement to the nth degree. I went upstairs and saw a maids uniform awaiting me. "Nice touch Mistress." I said to myself and before putting it on went to accomplish the outside tasks first. (She did say in the note that I should change into uniform after the outside work was completed)
As it turned out she got home around 8:30pm and the list still wasn't completed so at least I didn't have to spend a lot of time staring at the wall without moving. By the time she got home my feet were aching from the 4" heels she decided I should wear. As she came into our bedroom where I was reorganizing her clothes drawers (the last thing on the list). I greeted her kneeled before her and before I could ask if I could take the heels off she sat in a chair and said, "I see your not done with the list I gave you...Back to work." I realized that asking for shoe removal would have been a bad idea so I finished up while she talked on the phone and relaxed with her feet up.
When I was finally done she allowed me to change and go to the store for her. On return from that she invited me to sit down with her and watch Monday night football.
I asked her if I would have been allowed to turn the game on and watch before she arrived home and I was still working. She let me know that the maids outfit was a signal that I was on her time and hers alone that I was on duty and TV or anything else besides the work she gave me would have been met with punishment. Looks like I made the right call leaving the TV off.
That got me thinking about how the dynamic of our FLR works, how while reorganizing her clothes drawers the TV was literally right on top of the dresser, the TV would not have slowed my work down but yet I knew that while working for her I need to focus on her fully, TV was out of the question and she was testing me on that.
Me and my ass were very happy we passed that test last night.
Also lately Mistress S. has been a little less than her dominant self as I posted last week. I think I have still accomplished in keeping her happy with making sure things were taken care of so she could relax, focus on the things she needed to do and not have to worry about the house and things of that nature.
Yesterday something was different, when I arrived home from work (Mistress S. had to work late). There was a note on the kitchen counter top that gave a list of things that needed to be done, a mention that on our bed was the outfit I had to wear while accomplishing her tasks and that if I finished before she got home then I could spend the rest of the time standing in the corner awaiting her return.
Well that was excitement to the nth degree. I went upstairs and saw a maids uniform awaiting me. "Nice touch Mistress." I said to myself and before putting it on went to accomplish the outside tasks first. (She did say in the note that I should change into uniform after the outside work was completed)
As it turned out she got home around 8:30pm and the list still wasn't completed so at least I didn't have to spend a lot of time staring at the wall without moving. By the time she got home my feet were aching from the 4" heels she decided I should wear. As she came into our bedroom where I was reorganizing her clothes drawers (the last thing on the list). I greeted her kneeled before her and before I could ask if I could take the heels off she sat in a chair and said, "I see your not done with the list I gave you...Back to work." I realized that asking for shoe removal would have been a bad idea so I finished up while she talked on the phone and relaxed with her feet up.
When I was finally done she allowed me to change and go to the store for her. On return from that she invited me to sit down with her and watch Monday night football.
I asked her if I would have been allowed to turn the game on and watch before she arrived home and I was still working. She let me know that the maids outfit was a signal that I was on her time and hers alone that I was on duty and TV or anything else besides the work she gave me would have been met with punishment. Looks like I made the right call leaving the TV off.
That got me thinking about how the dynamic of our FLR works, how while reorganizing her clothes drawers the TV was literally right on top of the dresser, the TV would not have slowed my work down but yet I knew that while working for her I need to focus on her fully, TV was out of the question and she was testing me on that.
Me and my ass were very happy we passed that test last night.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Ebb and Flow of Dominance
From time to time Mistress S will experience ebbs and flows in the level of her dominance. Usually it coincides with events going on at work or with issues that have her mind preoccupied. Lately that has been the situation as work has been not so great for her lately.
While I love to be at her beck and call and reminded of my place thru discipline. I completely get why she goes thru these things. I also realize that when these times come it is even more important for me than ever to serve her and make her life as easy as possible.
I think there might be a natural tendency when the domme is not feeling so dominant that the sub may feel less submissive and thus the D/s relationship atrophies a bit. I now see that these are the times more than ever that she deserves my best behavior. Making sure the laundry is done, the house is clean, her things are taken care of. In the times of stress she needs this treatment even more but won't ask for it.
All the more reason to work harder for her and let her enjoy the benefits of her authority in our relationship. It perks her up when the bed is made, the dishes are done and the laundry is all taken care of without her even having to utter a word of instruction. She can focus on the things she needs to and live a bit more stress free.
How do others handle these types of situations? Whether from the domme or sub side.
While I love to be at her beck and call and reminded of my place thru discipline. I completely get why she goes thru these things. I also realize that when these times come it is even more important for me than ever to serve her and make her life as easy as possible.
I think there might be a natural tendency when the domme is not feeling so dominant that the sub may feel less submissive and thus the D/s relationship atrophies a bit. I now see that these are the times more than ever that she deserves my best behavior. Making sure the laundry is done, the house is clean, her things are taken care of. In the times of stress she needs this treatment even more but won't ask for it.
All the more reason to work harder for her and let her enjoy the benefits of her authority in our relationship. It perks her up when the bed is made, the dishes are done and the laundry is all taken care of without her even having to utter a word of instruction. She can focus on the things she needs to and live a bit more stress free.
How do others handle these types of situations? Whether from the domme or sub side.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Mistress S will regain her proper position.
Our guest is leaving today, I am quite happy and so is Mistress S to get back to our "normal" life again. As much as it was obvious to our guest that I do the bulk of the work around the house, as well as the obvious eagerness I show when Mistress S would be sitting and say, "I need another beer baby." Its not quite the same. Mistress S won't punish in front of others so any mistakes for the last week will probably be tallied and taught when the guest is gone. Fortunately I believe I did a pretty good job of keeping things straight and making myself a good stealth servant while the guest was here....Unfortunately what I think about my performance counts as much as a vote in a crooked election.
I guess that is my lucky situation. I read of blogs of guys who blurt their submissive dreams to their significant others only to have them met with trepadation, disbelief and a lack of interest. To some degree my revelation to Mistress S was kind of met with the same things. I tried my best to follow the advice I had read online about going slow, letting her set the pace and just serving her within the vision she had about what our relationship was.
As time went on she took to being dominant exponentially and once she realized this was something she should have been all along, all I can say is watch out, becareful what you wish for.
I bring this up because many of the methods and controls she used this week and many of the ways I acted in front of the guest reminded me of the early days of our FLR. That was 2 years ago but still is quite fresh in my mind.
Back then it was awesome, now it leaves me a bit unfufilled. I can't wait till tonight when I can freely kneel before her on the couch and ask permission to sit on the furniture with her again.
The point is once you get in a serious 24/7 FLR if something gets in the way of that, wow is it missed.
I am reminded over and over that my reality in my submissive world is better than the fantasies I dreamed of for years and years. That fantasy of being owned by a beautiful, mean, controlling woman who would keep me as her personal slave and dress me as she chose only to be dismissed when not needed was replaced in real life by an even more beautfiul woman who truly loves and cares for me BUT has decided that we are better off with her being in charge. That woman who is kind and fufills me BUT has decided that housework should be done by her servant and she will be the deciding factor on if it is satisfactory. That woman who is my best friend and the person I do almost everything with BUT feels that when her instructions aren't followed their needs to be reprecussions and her rules need to be followed without question.
That is my life now and I can't wait till tonight to get it back!
I guess that is my lucky situation. I read of blogs of guys who blurt their submissive dreams to their significant others only to have them met with trepadation, disbelief and a lack of interest. To some degree my revelation to Mistress S was kind of met with the same things. I tried my best to follow the advice I had read online about going slow, letting her set the pace and just serving her within the vision she had about what our relationship was.
As time went on she took to being dominant exponentially and once she realized this was something she should have been all along, all I can say is watch out, becareful what you wish for.
I bring this up because many of the methods and controls she used this week and many of the ways I acted in front of the guest reminded me of the early days of our FLR. That was 2 years ago but still is quite fresh in my mind.
Back then it was awesome, now it leaves me a bit unfufilled. I can't wait till tonight when I can freely kneel before her on the couch and ask permission to sit on the furniture with her again.
The point is once you get in a serious 24/7 FLR if something gets in the way of that, wow is it missed.
I am reminded over and over that my reality in my submissive world is better than the fantasies I dreamed of for years and years. That fantasy of being owned by a beautiful, mean, controlling woman who would keep me as her personal slave and dress me as she chose only to be dismissed when not needed was replaced in real life by an even more beautfiul woman who truly loves and cares for me BUT has decided that we are better off with her being in charge. That woman who is kind and fufills me BUT has decided that housework should be done by her servant and she will be the deciding factor on if it is satisfactory. That woman who is my best friend and the person I do almost everything with BUT feels that when her instructions aren't followed their needs to be reprecussions and her rules need to be followed without question.
That is my life now and I can't wait till tonight to get it back!
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Just normal life and our FLR.
One of the best things about living a full time relationship with Mistress S in charge is the ease at which things happen even with guests around.
Although we don't flaunt that I have to obey her in every decision around our guest it's not exactly hidden either.
No I don't kneel in front of her or call her Mistress with others around but she still leaves the cleaning of things to me and still doesn't hesitate to ask me to do things. Its just said in a different manor. However the implication and look on her face let me know that even though she may be asking nicely for me to get her a glass of water while she sits on the patio there is nothing about her request that has room for me to do anything except what she has nicely asked for.
Our guest noticed how clean our home was when they arrived and Mistress S had no issue giving me full credit for it. Of course this brought up a conversation of if Mistress S helped to which she lovingly answered, no he does the cleaning, he is awesome.
Again she was asked if there are clones of me. To which she answered, "No he is one of a kind." Of course she resisted saying that she trained me properly or anything along those lines. But it was obvious to our guest that Mistress S has a partner who treats her like gold. That is a huge source of pride for me.
I guess one thing that surpises me as I go thru life is seeing some of the people who say to Mistress S, "Do you have a clone of him?" or "You are so lucky to have a guy like that." Continue to date and find partners that are completely opposite of what they tell her they want. I wonder if it is because they don't realize that a partner like that is an acheivable goal for them or if they really don't want that but act like they do. My guess it's more that they do not realize that this type of relationship exists for more than just a small handful of women.
I also realize that many women could not play the role of leader properly and on top of that many women shouldn't lead.
My past marriage of almost 20 years was to a person who was not fit to lead so I was never able to give up control even though the submissive in me was dying to get out.
I will just continue to be completely happy and satisfied I finally found someone who is a great leader and I will follow her forever.
Although we don't flaunt that I have to obey her in every decision around our guest it's not exactly hidden either.
No I don't kneel in front of her or call her Mistress with others around but she still leaves the cleaning of things to me and still doesn't hesitate to ask me to do things. Its just said in a different manor. However the implication and look on her face let me know that even though she may be asking nicely for me to get her a glass of water while she sits on the patio there is nothing about her request that has room for me to do anything except what she has nicely asked for.
Our guest noticed how clean our home was when they arrived and Mistress S had no issue giving me full credit for it. Of course this brought up a conversation of if Mistress S helped to which she lovingly answered, no he does the cleaning, he is awesome.
Again she was asked if there are clones of me. To which she answered, "No he is one of a kind." Of course she resisted saying that she trained me properly or anything along those lines. But it was obvious to our guest that Mistress S has a partner who treats her like gold. That is a huge source of pride for me.
I guess one thing that surpises me as I go thru life is seeing some of the people who say to Mistress S, "Do you have a clone of him?" or "You are so lucky to have a guy like that." Continue to date and find partners that are completely opposite of what they tell her they want. I wonder if it is because they don't realize that a partner like that is an acheivable goal for them or if they really don't want that but act like they do. My guess it's more that they do not realize that this type of relationship exists for more than just a small handful of women.
I also realize that many women could not play the role of leader properly and on top of that many women shouldn't lead.
My past marriage of almost 20 years was to a person who was not fit to lead so I was never able to give up control even though the submissive in me was dying to get out.
I will just continue to be completely happy and satisfied I finally found someone who is a great leader and I will follow her forever.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Wow what a first day
Wow is all I have.
Our first day of empty nest was better than I expected. I got home from work before her and began cleaning. We had the air off and it was hot upstairs. Halfway thru the first room she came home and was pleased I was busy cleaning the spare room, we have company coming later in the week and I knew I needed to have the entire house clean and ready.
After greeting her I went back to cleaning and after changing into comfortable clothes she came into the spare room and threw a skirt, panty hose, her shirt she wore to work yesterday and said, "Change and get back to work." Being really hot and said to her, "Panty hose but Baby its really hot up here."
She laughed and said, "I had to wear pantyhose to work today, why shouldn't you while you are working for me?" I said, "Yes Mistress." and she replied with, "and don't forget the high heel shoes, not the boots, those are too comfortable."
Needless to say it was very umcomfortable but yet it kept me very focused on my work, I cleaned up until 9:30 pm while she sat on the couch and did stuff for work.
I was given a break from the high heels to make her dinner and after we finished eating she got up from the table and said, "That was awesome, after you clean up the dishes you can go back to cleaning please. I will let you know if I need something." I put my shoes back on to do the dishes and continued my cleaning.
When I finally finished the entire upstairs I asked her if I could be done for the night. She checked my work and was very happy with the job I did. (I tend to do a better job of cleaning if I am wearing her clothes, no idea why but I am more focused and less in a hurry.)
For me it was an evening fantasies are made of and I was told that tonight would be a repeat performance with guest arriving a day later.
I can't wait.
One thing I can say is I felt so good taking the stress of making the house presentable off her while she worried about her work stuff. It gave me a very good feeling to know I could do the menial work for her allowing her to focus on more important things. I am very at home in my role as her servant and look forward to continuing that every night if she wishes so.
Our first day of empty nest was better than I expected. I got home from work before her and began cleaning. We had the air off and it was hot upstairs. Halfway thru the first room she came home and was pleased I was busy cleaning the spare room, we have company coming later in the week and I knew I needed to have the entire house clean and ready.
After greeting her I went back to cleaning and after changing into comfortable clothes she came into the spare room and threw a skirt, panty hose, her shirt she wore to work yesterday and said, "Change and get back to work." Being really hot and said to her, "Panty hose but Baby its really hot up here."
She laughed and said, "I had to wear pantyhose to work today, why shouldn't you while you are working for me?" I said, "Yes Mistress." and she replied with, "and don't forget the high heel shoes, not the boots, those are too comfortable."
Needless to say it was very umcomfortable but yet it kept me very focused on my work, I cleaned up until 9:30 pm while she sat on the couch and did stuff for work.
I was given a break from the high heels to make her dinner and after we finished eating she got up from the table and said, "That was awesome, after you clean up the dishes you can go back to cleaning please. I will let you know if I need something." I put my shoes back on to do the dishes and continued my cleaning.
When I finally finished the entire upstairs I asked her if I could be done for the night. She checked my work and was very happy with the job I did. (I tend to do a better job of cleaning if I am wearing her clothes, no idea why but I am more focused and less in a hurry.)
For me it was an evening fantasies are made of and I was told that tonight would be a repeat performance with guest arriving a day later.
I can't wait.
One thing I can say is I felt so good taking the stress of making the house presentable off her while she worried about her work stuff. It gave me a very good feeling to know I could do the menial work for her allowing her to focus on more important things. I am very at home in my role as her servant and look forward to continuing that every night if she wishes so.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Empty Nest Day!
Today the young adult of our house leaves for college. Child doesn't fit here so young adult it is.
We take her today to move into her dorm.
We have disucussed this day for a while now. She has told me about the changes coming in our FLR. I have to say I have never been so excited in my life and look very forward to what the future brings.
Anyone who has went thru this please give me some tips of what to expect.
We take her today to move into her dorm.
We have disucussed this day for a while now. She has told me about the changes coming in our FLR. I have to say I have never been so excited in my life and look very forward to what the future brings.
Anyone who has went thru this please give me some tips of what to expect.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Oh Shit!
Hate posting things like this but tonight might have an uncomfortable moment in it.
Last night while going to DQ to pick up some ice cream I forgot to the basic duty of checking her gas tank.
Well apparently she got in the car this morning and immediately greeting her was the low gas icon on her dash board.
I got a text while at work asking if I checked her gas situation and had to admit I did not.
This was met with a text stating that she is going to be late for work now because it wasn't taken care of. And followed by a short text stating she had to go as running late there was no more time for texting.
Besides the obvious consequences that she probably will impose. Which of course is her absolute right as the authority in our relationship. There is that other part I am now dealing with.
The feeling of failing her. The feeling that she isn't happy becuase of something I have done. While I know she will forgive me...although the punishment might be something that will leave a lasting impression for a while. My biggest issue is that I pride myself on making her happy and making her life easier and now I have this worry that she isn't because of me. I would take 30 with the cane before I would want her to feel unhappiness. Its just how I am with her. It's not feeling upset because I know punishment is coming my way. Its the feeling upset because the one I love more than anything in the world isn't being served the way I feel I can. Almost a feeling of failure. I may have a red ass tomorrow but that won't compare to a feeling of failure in my book.
While I am sure I will get over it and I will make it up to her and we will discuss the feelings that go with this. For now I just don't feel good about it.
I will use it for fuel for my motivation to be better and I will soon have her happy again showing her how much I truly care and how much I truly love her. She deserves the best and I feel I can provide that for her.
I guess the bottom line is no matter how much I have learned I have a long way to go. I look forward to the challenge of making it right and to show her that I can do the job properly of making her life a wonderful place to be.
Last night while going to DQ to pick up some ice cream I forgot to the basic duty of checking her gas tank.
Well apparently she got in the car this morning and immediately greeting her was the low gas icon on her dash board.
I got a text while at work asking if I checked her gas situation and had to admit I did not.
This was met with a text stating that she is going to be late for work now because it wasn't taken care of. And followed by a short text stating she had to go as running late there was no more time for texting.
Besides the obvious consequences that she probably will impose. Which of course is her absolute right as the authority in our relationship. There is that other part I am now dealing with.
The feeling of failing her. The feeling that she isn't happy becuase of something I have done. While I know she will forgive me...although the punishment might be something that will leave a lasting impression for a while. My biggest issue is that I pride myself on making her happy and making her life easier and now I have this worry that she isn't because of me. I would take 30 with the cane before I would want her to feel unhappiness. Its just how I am with her. It's not feeling upset because I know punishment is coming my way. Its the feeling upset because the one I love more than anything in the world isn't being served the way I feel I can. Almost a feeling of failure. I may have a red ass tomorrow but that won't compare to a feeling of failure in my book.
While I am sure I will get over it and I will make it up to her and we will discuss the feelings that go with this. For now I just don't feel good about it.
I will use it for fuel for my motivation to be better and I will soon have her happy again showing her how much I truly care and how much I truly love her. She deserves the best and I feel I can provide that for her.
I guess the bottom line is no matter how much I have learned I have a long way to go. I look forward to the challenge of making it right and to show her that I can do the job properly of making her life a wonderful place to be.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Keeping the relationship fresh, exciting and keeping her happy.
I want to spend today making some points on taking care of
your girl. This doesn’t necessarily only apply to subs but could apply to any
man who wants to make his relationship better with his significant other. Over
time us guys, subs and non sub alike go thru periods where things get in a rut,
become stagnant etc. I have a list of some things that will keep your
relationship where it needs to be. Now I don’t claim to be an expert so I look
forward to some posts to add to the list below. Hopefully some ideas will come
up that will help me grow and get some new ideas and hopefully some will read
my list and get something good out of it.
These aren’t necessarily in order or importance especially
since what works for one might not be as effective for another.
Things anyone can do to keep your girl feeling special.
1.
Do something extra: Many of us who are subs love
to be told what to do, it turns us on and we take pride in accomplishing what
our owner tells us to do. But from her side nothing is better than the extra touch.
Saturday I cleaned the fridge without Mistress S even thinking about having it
done. She appreciated that more than all the other things I did that day put
together. Something about that extra of doing something that isn’t expected
really puts a smile on a girl’s face.
2.
Tokens of your love: Flowers, cards etc. If you
get her flowers and card for holidays and birthdays and that’s the extent of
it, you are barking up the wrong tree, and possibly may end up in the dog
house. My favorite is a card under her pillow with a note in it that she finds
as she gets into bed. I try to do these on a regular basis. Even better than
buying a card is a homemade one. It’s the message that counts and the thought
that matters. Same goes for flowers, flowers on her birthday has the appearance
of “It’s time to get flowers again.” Flowers on a Thursday after work for no
reason say, “I love you and because of that you deserve Flowers.” One thing I
have noticed from Mistress S is that the flowers don’t always have to be
expensive roses. A $5 bouquet from Kroger when you pick up milk says a lot to
her. NEVER ASSUME THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS FAR ENOUGH ALONG THAT I DON’T NEED
TO GET HER FLOWERS ANYMORE. I learned that the hard way in a past relationship.
Also be creative, don’t fall into a rut with this either, Flowers every Tuesday
will be appreciated but it also will be predictable. Change it up; think out of
the box from time to time. She will appreciate it.
3.
Messages of your love: I send Mistress S an
email at work every day telling her I love her. Maybe that is too much for you
but going out of your way to send an “I love you.” Text or email will mean more
than the “I love you.” That becomes routine when you leave for work or roll
over to go to sleep. Try to say it differently also, if she is at work and gets
a text saying, “I was at the store and thought I saw the most beautiful woman
in the world but then I realized you were at work.” Can put a smile on her face
and brighten a day. Small efforts can have big effects.
4.
Learn to cook: This may not be for everyone but
she will appreciate you trying to learn and help, also be creative when you try
it. Don’t be afraid to try new things. The effort will be appreciated even if
the dish needs improvement. This won’t apply for some submissive men who
already do all the cooking and cleaning but for those that don’t keep it in mind.
5.
Listen to her: I am not talking about obey. I am
talking about truly listening and actually being part of her conversation about
what happened at work. Pay attention and take an interest. If she tells you
about the co worker who wore the gawdy yellow shoes on Monday and then Thursday
is talking about the same girl and you pipe in with, “Isn’t she the one with
the yellow shoes from the other day.” Trust me that will make her feel what she
is saying is important to you and you care. Don’t do it just to make her think
you care….Actually try to care and it won’t be so hard. Take an interest in
what she does learn about what she does, it’s not hard.
6.
Don’t be a robot: Many men fall into that robot
category, subs can especially be that way as we are programmed to obey. When
your girl asks if you want to go out to eat and you reply, “yes” this may be
followed up with, “Where do you want to go?” which on many occasions find us
guys answering, “I don’t care, where do you want to go?” Well boys, if you are
submissive there is that part of you that wants her to pick and choose and make
her happy but if she is asking you then she wants your input. If you truly don’t
know or have a preference then maybe answer something more appropriate like, “Not
sure, would you like Italian food?” or “Not sure, would you like a place where
the game would be on the TV?” This will get the discussion moving and you will
be a contributor to the discussion instead of a bystander.
7.
Remember dates: Birthday, wedding, etc. This
probably goes without saying but it wouldn’t be a list without it.
8.
Affection: Whether it’s holding her hand in the
mall even after 25 years of marriage. Watching TV on the couch and leaning over
and giving her a kiss just because or numerous other small things, keep the
sensation of touch going. Never let this get away. (Another lesson I learned
the hard way.) There are a bunch of ways to accomplish this, rub her neck with
one hand while driving, rubbing her leg as you sit next to her. Seriously there
are thousands of ways to show you are thinking of her when you are otherwise
doing something else. One of my favorites is to come up to her while she is
doing something and just kiss her on the back of the neck and say, “Just wanted
you to know you are beautiful, I love you and I can’t keep my hands off you.” I
say this because it’s absolutely true so make sure you find something that you really
mean and try it.
9.
Remind her of positives about her: Tell her you
love the way she smells, tastes, looks, whatever. You already have things about
her you love, like her smile, her perfume or her legs in a pair of shorts…Well
let her know that. If you see her come up to you in a pair of shorts say, “God
I love you legs.” She will feel awesome. Now I am not telling you to say
something you don’t mean, girls are way too smart for that. Be honest, mean
what you say and say it like you mean it.
10.
Ok last one this one is a bit different but it
will show you care about her more than you can imagine….LEARN TO USE YOUR
TONGUE!!! Yup, you know what I am talking about. Recently I have made it a
mission to learn to please her more than she has ever had before in her life.
Well when I started this I couldn’t tell a clitoris from a clam. I bought a
book, read things on line, experimented and tried different things and it has
worked. Remember her pleasure is one of the most important things in life. Here
is a great way to give her that pleasure. I read that 2 out of 3 sexual
encounters between men and women end in the woman not being satisfied…..What a
bunch of crap that is. Come on guys, we can do way better than that. Are you
going to tell me you don’t like doing that? You don’t like the taste? Tough
shit, learn to love it. I admit I love going down on her and I love her taste
also, I do understand I am in the minority but even if I didn’t I would still
do whatever I had to make her have the pleasure she deserves. Then once you
decide you are going to put your girl in the minority of satisfied women after
sexual encounters category learn a few things. Learn what to do, the best spots
and experiment. Since every girl is different what works on one won’t
necessarily work on another. I have to say I got one of the best compliments
from Mistress S the other day, she told me that I was the best at using my
tongue she has ever had and said the orgasm she has was mind blowing. I joked
that maybe I should get business cards made up to which she replied. “No way, I
own your ass and you are all mine and I won’t share.” The point is she has
enjoyed this more than you can imagine. My only advice I will give on the
subject is that it isn’t a race, take your time do a thorough job and you will
be rewarded with the waves of pleasure she experiences. You will feel proud
that you had that effect on her and she will be beaming with an ear to ear
smile. That boys, is what it’s all about.
Ok that’s my list. I hope others chime in with ways to help
me be better and hope the list helps others. The bottom line is if we do our
job there should be a line of happy girls as far as the eye can see. Now before
I sign off, remember I am not saying I am any type of expert but just a guys
with ideas and want to share. I am hoping this begins a conversation where
others give their input and we all benefit.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Punishment, that moment of pause before it begins.
Last night Mistress S. decided it was time for me to pay for my transgressions for the week. I thought I had made it through the day and we were going to bed when she announced, "Take off all your clothes, except for your panties, get face down on the bed." I knew it was time, I asked for something that I could put in my mouth to help which she graciously obliged with a pair of panties. It was then time to bury my head in a pillow and stay still.
Unfortunately that position does not allow me to see which weapon she has chosen to use, prior experience in asking to look only got the response. "Keep your head down, what I decide to beat your ass with is none of your business."
Then it began....That pause while I am helpless, powerless to do anything but await the inevitable. Suppressing that fight or flight feeling that comes with the anxiety of what is to come. Knowing that I could get up and move or leave but realizing that her power is such that I am at her mercy, unable to move because of the most powerful words in the english language to me...."Becuase I said so."
If you aren't submissive or haven't experienced a punishment that leaves your ass sore for a week you probably can't relate to this moment in time but for me it's one of the most powerful things in my life.
That moment that every sound is magnified, hearing the cabinet door open and finally close when the instrument is selected. Her feet against the wood floor as she moves into position, the long wait as she sizes up her target adds to my anguish by waiting longer. Believe me she knows exactly what she is doing. Then the light touch of the cane or whatever weapon that she chooses as she lightly prods and moves it along my behind to amplify what is coming. It seems to take forever as I am powerless to move, just the feel of the weapon on my backside begins what think of as my road to forgiveness for what I have done.
Sometimes that is followed by words of admonishment or sometimes it just begins, it's never the same, as she is unpredicatable. The only thing that is predictable is that I will regret my mistakes when she is done and I will focus on being better by not repeating the errors that put me here. Mistress S believes that punishment for a second offense should always be harsher than the first offense so whatever I am going thru at the moment is childs play if I repeat the offense.
When it begins its almost relief, the waiting is over and that means soon the debt will be paid to her. Of course she also is very good at making a punishment effective. Last night she started slow but soon gave a number of shots right after the other, no time to recover, each stroke amplifying as it landed before the pain from the previous stroke subsided. After a 5 or 6 quick ones it was almost unbearable and then a rest. At that point I am hoping for a small break to allow for recovery but she knows that isn't to be. The break is over before my ass has the chance to recover for the next set.
When it is finally over my ass is on fire and the only thing left is to get on my kness and explain to her what I have learned and express my gratitude for her teaching me how to serve her better.
I mean, we both agree that I should be the best possible servant I can be, she just has to make sure that my errors are pointed out, corrected and punished as to not forget. That is her gift for me to better serve her. She deserves that and so do I.
This morning sitting is difficult but the reasons that I was punished last night are anything but difficult to remember.
Unfortunately that position does not allow me to see which weapon she has chosen to use, prior experience in asking to look only got the response. "Keep your head down, what I decide to beat your ass with is none of your business."
Then it began....That pause while I am helpless, powerless to do anything but await the inevitable. Suppressing that fight or flight feeling that comes with the anxiety of what is to come. Knowing that I could get up and move or leave but realizing that her power is such that I am at her mercy, unable to move because of the most powerful words in the english language to me...."Becuase I said so."
If you aren't submissive or haven't experienced a punishment that leaves your ass sore for a week you probably can't relate to this moment in time but for me it's one of the most powerful things in my life.
That moment that every sound is magnified, hearing the cabinet door open and finally close when the instrument is selected. Her feet against the wood floor as she moves into position, the long wait as she sizes up her target adds to my anguish by waiting longer. Believe me she knows exactly what she is doing. Then the light touch of the cane or whatever weapon that she chooses as she lightly prods and moves it along my behind to amplify what is coming. It seems to take forever as I am powerless to move, just the feel of the weapon on my backside begins what think of as my road to forgiveness for what I have done.
Sometimes that is followed by words of admonishment or sometimes it just begins, it's never the same, as she is unpredicatable. The only thing that is predictable is that I will regret my mistakes when she is done and I will focus on being better by not repeating the errors that put me here. Mistress S believes that punishment for a second offense should always be harsher than the first offense so whatever I am going thru at the moment is childs play if I repeat the offense.
When it begins its almost relief, the waiting is over and that means soon the debt will be paid to her. Of course she also is very good at making a punishment effective. Last night she started slow but soon gave a number of shots right after the other, no time to recover, each stroke amplifying as it landed before the pain from the previous stroke subsided. After a 5 or 6 quick ones it was almost unbearable and then a rest. At that point I am hoping for a small break to allow for recovery but she knows that isn't to be. The break is over before my ass has the chance to recover for the next set.
When it is finally over my ass is on fire and the only thing left is to get on my kness and explain to her what I have learned and express my gratitude for her teaching me how to serve her better.
I mean, we both agree that I should be the best possible servant I can be, she just has to make sure that my errors are pointed out, corrected and punished as to not forget. That is her gift for me to better serve her. She deserves that and so do I.
This morning sitting is difficult but the reasons that I was punished last night are anything but difficult to remember.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Obedience, Punishment and Behavior.
Looks like this weekend might prove a bit challenging. After a week of some misteps in behavior and obedience I have been told that I will be paying for those offenses this weekend. The mistakes weren't horrible but Mistress S feels that small things adding up mean a lack of concentration and focus on my part. She has let me know that because of her love for me she will make sure that I will be better at concentration and focus and this weekend will be her way to show me.
I admit I am quite nervous about this but at the same time I am glad for it. Not as the kinky turn on reason because whatever she comes up with, trust me, I won't like it. But more because I do feel an obligation to serve her and learning to serve her better makes me happy, if that means suffering to remind me of my place and how I need to focus so be it. She knows best.
I will take the punishment, learn from it and be better for it.
A couple of other things are at play here.
1. My pride in serving her. I really take pride in taking care of her, serving her and making her life more easy and convenient. Anything that helps me, including one bright red ass, is a small price to pay for me to eventually have the pride of being the best I can be for her.
2. My representation of her. I belong to her, I am her property and if I don't perform well, it a reflection of her ability to lead. I can't stand the thought of a negative mark on her for something I did.
So Mistress S, teach me, I promise to learn, I won't promise to enjoy the learning experience but I will be better for it....my ass depends on it.
I admit I am quite nervous about this but at the same time I am glad for it. Not as the kinky turn on reason because whatever she comes up with, trust me, I won't like it. But more because I do feel an obligation to serve her and learning to serve her better makes me happy, if that means suffering to remind me of my place and how I need to focus so be it. She knows best.
I will take the punishment, learn from it and be better for it.
A couple of other things are at play here.
1. My pride in serving her. I really take pride in taking care of her, serving her and making her life more easy and convenient. Anything that helps me, including one bright red ass, is a small price to pay for me to eventually have the pride of being the best I can be for her.
2. My representation of her. I belong to her, I am her property and if I don't perform well, it a reflection of her ability to lead. I can't stand the thought of a negative mark on her for something I did.
So Mistress S, teach me, I promise to learn, I won't promise to enjoy the learning experience but I will be better for it....my ass depends on it.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Submission and Stress
How does stress effect a person's submission? I guess we all will have different answers. I used to lose my sumbissiveness whenever I would get stressed, it would dissapear while the worry of whatever was happening was getting fixed, sorted out or whatever the solution to the problem is. Lately that has changed, my job can be a bit stressful at times and when it does I have tried a new tactic to combat it. I think about what I love, my submissiveness, I picture being done with work and heading home, coming into the door to see Mistress S with her arms crossed tapping her feet. Or I picture coming home to a note stating "These things better be done by the time I get home and your uniform is waiting on the bed for you." Whatever the fantasy (it differs by day) it puts me in a submissive state of mind. At that point all the excitement I get out of my submission returns and once that occurs my training seems to kick in and I focus on the issues at work, knowing that once these are fixed I can go be where I long to be, at the feet of Mistress S.
Now I won't pretend that would work with a seriously bad stressful situation, like a death in the family or a loved one getting really sick or a car accident etc. But for the smaller things that bother me it works fine to solve some of the stress issues. I would love to hear some others points of view on this. I know everyone is different and who knows maybe someone elses way of coping would work for me also.
Now I won't pretend that would work with a seriously bad stressful situation, like a death in the family or a loved one getting really sick or a car accident etc. But for the smaller things that bother me it works fine to solve some of the stress issues. I would love to hear some others points of view on this. I know everyone is different and who knows maybe someone elses way of coping would work for me also.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Owner and Best Friend
I would like to point out a few things about the relationship between Mistress S and I. First we are deeply in love and we are best friends. We do most everything together and if you saw us in public you might not even notice I am her personal servant. I am respectful to her in public, I get her drinks, open her car door and do as she says but she doesn't flaunt it in public. We love to golf and do it quite often nowadays.
Whether its going out with friends, going out on the town or just out for dinner we are almost always together when we aren't at work. We truly are best friends to each other as well as lovers. However that doesn't mean that we are equals. I obey her without question, the rules she has set for me are not to be broken and I take them quite seriously. All it took was breaking them a couple times and I learned real quickly to obey. Mistress S is fun loving, caring and loves to joke around and have a great time however when it's time to obey don't mess with her. She is strict and loves to teach lessons when her rules aren't followed but she is very consistent in her treatment of me.
I have to say I have learned so much since she has taken over and I am a much better person for it. Not only in my treatment of her but also in every other part of my life, I own a business and it has taken off since she has been in control. I get more things done am more efficient and the business has benefitted. She has taught me to stay focused on tasks at hand and finish things completely and correctly before moving on to another task. I have always been one of those people that tackles a multitude of tasks and usually get bogged down with all of them 80% complete. Short and sweet my servitude to Mistress S has been a great benefit for me, my company and my employees. They have more work, more secure jobs and its all because Mistress S has turned me into a better person. Funny how learning to do dishes, laundry and scrubbing floors, properly, completely and when told to do so can hold lessons to extrapolate into running a business.
I am sure others have similar stories but the idea that becoming another persons property has made me actually more free than I have ever experienced in my life makes no sense to someone who hasn't experienced the submissive dream.
That is all for now, I will be back with more stuff, hopefully more exciting for everyone that this background information.
Whether its going out with friends, going out on the town or just out for dinner we are almost always together when we aren't at work. We truly are best friends to each other as well as lovers. However that doesn't mean that we are equals. I obey her without question, the rules she has set for me are not to be broken and I take them quite seriously. All it took was breaking them a couple times and I learned real quickly to obey. Mistress S is fun loving, caring and loves to joke around and have a great time however when it's time to obey don't mess with her. She is strict and loves to teach lessons when her rules aren't followed but she is very consistent in her treatment of me.
I have to say I have learned so much since she has taken over and I am a much better person for it. Not only in my treatment of her but also in every other part of my life, I own a business and it has taken off since she has been in control. I get more things done am more efficient and the business has benefitted. She has taught me to stay focused on tasks at hand and finish things completely and correctly before moving on to another task. I have always been one of those people that tackles a multitude of tasks and usually get bogged down with all of them 80% complete. Short and sweet my servitude to Mistress S has been a great benefit for me, my company and my employees. They have more work, more secure jobs and its all because Mistress S has turned me into a better person. Funny how learning to do dishes, laundry and scrubbing floors, properly, completely and when told to do so can hold lessons to extrapolate into running a business.
I am sure others have similar stories but the idea that becoming another persons property has made me actually more free than I have ever experienced in my life makes no sense to someone who hasn't experienced the submissive dream.
That is all for now, I will be back with more stuff, hopefully more exciting for everyone that this background information.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Welcome all, this is my first post. My name is SOS, which stands for Servant of Mistress S. I left out the M as when the name SOS came about I was not refering to my owner as Mistress. The purpose of my blog is to write real life situations in my Female Led Relationship. Mistress S and I are engaged and have been living our FLR for 2 years now. We spent one year dating before I sprung on her that I was submissive. She wasn't dominant (or so she thought) but for me decided she would go along with my submissiveness and try to give me some of my fantasies I have dreamed about since before I can remember.
It was a slow start, although I admit that was probably the best way for us to explore, and after some time she slowly came to realiz thaet she really enjoyed her dominance. Since then the pace of my increased submission and her dominance has grown exponetially at times.
In a few weeks we are going to be experiencing our empty nest and I have been assured that things will be quite different for us. As exciting as that will be it has caused me to do some research on my submission and I found out that there are not a great amount of places to get good information regarding male submission. My goal is to try to gain information to be a better servant and share with others the things that have worked for me as well as the things that haven't.
I guess to start I will move back in time. We are both in our forties and were both married once before. I was married for almost 20 years to a person who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
I have had submissive desires as far back as I can ever remember but never shared that information with anyone, including my first wife. Not sure why exactly it was that I never felt I could trust anyone with my secret but it was never to be. I would fantasize about being owned by a beautiful dominant woman and just assumed that I would spend my entire life keeping that fantasy to myself. I was prepared to do that for many reasons, career, trust, fear of the unknown, fear of being shunned and a host of other reasons. Spending years never able to live out my dreams were very difficult at times for me but I assumed that most people harbored some secret that they kept inside.
As it turned out my first marriage ended with her deciding that she wanted someone else. I was devestated but soon realized that it was time to move on. I actually made a mental list of traits I was looking for, however none of those traits included a dominant woman, I still assumed that was out of the question for me. After dating 11 girls I finally met Mistress S, of course she wasn't a Mistress at the time and we spent a year together without telling her of my desires. I admit something was different about her, I had a level of trust with her that I never experienced with anyone else before. It caused me to try hinting about things, I would offer to do the laundry, more than my share of the cleaning and even joking that I should be her servant. It became a little harmless game we would joke about.
One day after almost a year of being together I felt I had to tell her. I had been so honest with her that keeping secrets from her was very hard on me. I made a pact with myself to tell her the following week. Well that very night we were driving to dinner and I just blurted out. "You know how I joke about being your slave?" She answered, "Yes." I replied, "Well I like that." Her response was a simple, "I know you do." and I had to reiterate, "No I really really like that." She seemed taken back a bit and it brought on a conversation on what feelings I had. She wasn't too sure about it but agreed to try it sometime, more than the joking we would do from time to time. My secret was out and it was the best feeling in the world.
Two years later she says she could never go back to a vanilla relationship. I couldn't either. The journey has been wonderful and I admit without the courage to bring it up I may have lived my entire life always regretting not getting the chance to live my dreams. I guess my advice to anyone is that if you are in the situation I was and you truly trust your significant other, have the courage to tell them. You owe it to yourself to try. In the next postings I will share some of the day to day things that make our relationship awesome as well as going over some past experiences that were memorable to get us where we are now.
Eventually I would love to put enough info together with the help of others to put together a site for helping submissive males and the women who love them and dominate them.
SOS
It was a slow start, although I admit that was probably the best way for us to explore, and after some time she slowly came to realiz thaet she really enjoyed her dominance. Since then the pace of my increased submission and her dominance has grown exponetially at times.
In a few weeks we are going to be experiencing our empty nest and I have been assured that things will be quite different for us. As exciting as that will be it has caused me to do some research on my submission and I found out that there are not a great amount of places to get good information regarding male submission. My goal is to try to gain information to be a better servant and share with others the things that have worked for me as well as the things that haven't.
I guess to start I will move back in time. We are both in our forties and were both married once before. I was married for almost 20 years to a person who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
I have had submissive desires as far back as I can ever remember but never shared that information with anyone, including my first wife. Not sure why exactly it was that I never felt I could trust anyone with my secret but it was never to be. I would fantasize about being owned by a beautiful dominant woman and just assumed that I would spend my entire life keeping that fantasy to myself. I was prepared to do that for many reasons, career, trust, fear of the unknown, fear of being shunned and a host of other reasons. Spending years never able to live out my dreams were very difficult at times for me but I assumed that most people harbored some secret that they kept inside.
As it turned out my first marriage ended with her deciding that she wanted someone else. I was devestated but soon realized that it was time to move on. I actually made a mental list of traits I was looking for, however none of those traits included a dominant woman, I still assumed that was out of the question for me. After dating 11 girls I finally met Mistress S, of course she wasn't a Mistress at the time and we spent a year together without telling her of my desires. I admit something was different about her, I had a level of trust with her that I never experienced with anyone else before. It caused me to try hinting about things, I would offer to do the laundry, more than my share of the cleaning and even joking that I should be her servant. It became a little harmless game we would joke about.
One day after almost a year of being together I felt I had to tell her. I had been so honest with her that keeping secrets from her was very hard on me. I made a pact with myself to tell her the following week. Well that very night we were driving to dinner and I just blurted out. "You know how I joke about being your slave?" She answered, "Yes." I replied, "Well I like that." Her response was a simple, "I know you do." and I had to reiterate, "No I really really like that." She seemed taken back a bit and it brought on a conversation on what feelings I had. She wasn't too sure about it but agreed to try it sometime, more than the joking we would do from time to time. My secret was out and it was the best feeling in the world.
Two years later she says she could never go back to a vanilla relationship. I couldn't either. The journey has been wonderful and I admit without the courage to bring it up I may have lived my entire life always regretting not getting the chance to live my dreams. I guess my advice to anyone is that if you are in the situation I was and you truly trust your significant other, have the courage to tell them. You owe it to yourself to try. In the next postings I will share some of the day to day things that make our relationship awesome as well as going over some past experiences that were memorable to get us where we are now.
Eventually I would love to put enough info together with the help of others to put together a site for helping submissive males and the women who love them and dominate them.
SOS
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